Somebody called CPS on me and now I'm worried

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
A neighbor called CPS on me saying we beat Jumper (as a tiny baby). I used to let Julie bring Jumper to her house because I knew the mom liked Jumper and Julie was friends with her daughter. She would sometimes change Jumper's diaper. Jumper had a Mongolian spot which is a large black and blue spot surrounding the butt of a child who is Asian or black, maybe Hispanic too. It would look like a giant bruise to somebody who didn't know what it was. If hispanic babies have it, this woman was beyond stupid as she is hispanic. She loved Jumper and wanted to adopt her because she said she looked hispanic and because she was a very good and friendly baby. Maybe she thought we would lose custody and she could keep her.

Social worker came out and I showed her the mongolian spot and called pediatrician to verify it. Social worker was so angry at caller that she called her in front of me, told her off, and told her to never call on us again with a false allegation of abuse because SHE could get into trouble. The woman claimed she had showed this Mongolian spot to her next door neighbors who are black and that the mother said it was from a beating; it wasn't a Mongolian spot. I don't believe she ever did that, but if s he did, the other woman was stupid too. It was just a typical Mongolian spot. Jumper is bi-racial.

That was sweet justice to hear the investigator telling off the snitch.
 
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pasajes4

Well-Known Member
I had the police show up at my school when my youngest started daycare at 6 wks. He had a huge Mongolian spot that covered his back, rear, and thigh. They left with egg on their face.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Isn't that funny?

It's really startling that Caucasians don't even have a clue what a Mongolian spot is. Especially daycare workers. They have NO friends or take care of NO children who are non-white?

For those who have just first learned about this, they do disappear as the child gets older.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
It's really startling that Caucasians don't even have a clue what a Mongolian spot is.

Hm. I'd never heard of it either MWM. I just googled it. I can see why people would think it was bruising! You learn something new every day. :)
 

susiestar

Roll With It
The friend who's ex lost the chance for custody with the cited reason being his home didn't have a bedroom for the daughter separate from the sons and dad also had a bathroom separated from the rest of the house by curtains hung on pvc pipes dangling from the ceiling - meaning the bathroom/shower was in the same room as everything else and the 'shower' was an open pipe above a floor drain, not an actual shower. The SW who evaluated it didn't want to get into the fact that the dad also smoked a ton of pot, was suspected of using harder drugs, and had 2 convicted child molesters hanging around constantly when his kids were there - one 'friend' liked boys his son's age and was the one who dreamed up the bathroom curtains rather than putting sme walls in (the walls were roughed in, but this ex con took them out to put up 'curtains' for suspicious reasons - one of his convictions was for putting cameras in public restrooms used mostly by children at a children's park!). The other ex con 'friend' victimized girls their daughter's age, and the SW was upset at either of these men being around all the time at Dad's new place. She cited the city code about separate bedrooms because it was easier than going into all the reasons of the molester friends, etc... The kids had the option to live in a 4 bdr home with their mom, which is where the kids desperately wanted to be because they were flat uot terrified of their dad when he was using and of his friends. If all the family could afford was a 1 bdr, then it would have been okay. But the dad was literally living in a storefront in a strip mall in a horribly dangerous part of town while the mom lived in a decent home in a decent neighborhood.

So don't fret overly about the bedrooms, esp as you are trying to get into a 2bdr. If there was a rule about it in your area, your apartment could not be low income and rent to you with the 2 kids there.

I had a friend who was a SW. If the home was not covered in filth, or infested with mice, it was no big deal. Even a day or two's dishes in the sink was not grounds to remove kids, it was weeks of dishes that got kids removed. And animal poo on the floors everywhere, not clutter.

Your mom needs to back off.

I am glad that you spoke to someone who can help. If they go after your daughter and make her miserable, go after them. They are already WAY overstepping their bounds because they think you won't complain to anyone or call in the state. We can help you do that. The state will help provide you with a FREE advocate to help MAKE the school follow both their own rules AND the federal IEP rules. And if the dr says it is excused the school CANNOT say it doesn't count unless you ALLOW it. And you stop them by getting an advocate. CA has some of the most individual centered rules in the state, meaning the law is almost certainly on YOUR side if you can insist that they follow it.

Chill out, let the SW know that the principal is trying to bully you by calling CPS when it is not warranted, and tell them what the principal did. If she is the caller, it will certainly be taken into account.

Hugs.

I didn't realize about the molester friends until yesterday when I connected with the friend on fb. She told me the whole ugly story and the SW's report cited a TON of problems beside the bedrooms that led to the dad not getting custody of any sort. The dad hadn't been involved with the kids at all even when he was married to the mom, but he wanted custody because he didn't want to pay child support. He thought he could get at least 50% custody and not have to pay anything to his ex, who he had insisted be a stay at home mom and not work for their entire marriage. He had to pay child support and alimony and pay back half of what he took from their joint accounts and his 401k, which is what he did't want to do because he blew it on drugs and a girlfriend.

So don't worry so much!!
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
First off I want to thank everyone for your support these last few days. It's been hell on my anxiety and you all made it bearable. So the bottom line is my kids are still with me. The social worker didn't even bat an eye when I told her there was the four of us living in one apartment. I am very relieved for that. After questioning me about my living arrangements, she listed all the complaints I had against me.

First of all, There was a complaint that I had dishes in the sink. Okay so now I KNOW it was the principal who reported me. I get up early every single morning before work and do all the left over dishes in the sink. Every morning without fail. When the principal came over the day she confiscated the laptop, difficult child had just made herself lunch and left her dishes in the sink. I cannot believe I was actually reported for a few dishes in the sink!

The second complaint was prescription pill bottles out where my kids can access them. I explained to the social worker that the medications are my kids, they take them, and I didn't think it was a crime to have my TEENAGE kids pill bottles not locked up in a cabinet. The social worker agreed with me.

Thirdly there was a complaint that my cats looked sick. Okay so our dear sweet Kitty had megacolon and was skinny. I took her to the vet regularly and she was on lifetime medications. Unfortunately the disease overtook her and the medications stopped working. She ended up being euthanized. The social worker knew about our cat dying. We had an anonymous call to animal control a couple of months ago and animal control came out to look at our cats. I was required to get them a check up and animal control contacted my vet to make sure I did it. I never heard from animal control again.

Now I know whoever called animal control is the same person who called CPS. The social worker knew all about Lily's skin infection and she knew about Kitty passing away. My daughter was in the school office crying when we lost our dear Kitty and everybody knew about it. I know it's the principal who called. I told the social worker I knew who reported me, and she denied knowing who it was. She claims it was done anonymously.

I told the social worker about the problems I have been having with the principal. She was floored when I told her she came and took difficult child's laptop. Her jaw dropped open and she was speechless. She ended up telling me she is going to follow up with animal control to get a report on my cats, and once she verifies I did everything I was supposed to do, she is going to close my case. She said the case should be closed in a few days. I am relieved.

Oh and this morning my administrator emailed me and gave me the name, number, and email of the Director of Education so I can file a formal complaint. I am going to do so. Meanwhile we have an IEP meeting next Friday for difficult child. We will be discussing possible half days and half independent study. This will give difficult child a chance to prove she can handle one or two classes on her own. If she proves she cannot work independently, she will go back to full days at the school. So there is my update, and I will continue to update as things progress. Once again, thank you all so much for your help!
 

dstc_99

Well-Known Member
Well I am glad you know what the complaints were for. CPS coming out and checking up on the complaints is just them trying to do their jobs. For now I would say don't worry about the CPS issue and work out the school issue for difficult child.
 

mom_to_3

Active Member
I'm glad that is over with for you! It has to be beyond nerve wracking, but today you sound strong and good!

I would not discuss any of this with your daughters principal, I would act all peachy around her and then gather your ammunition, contact all the higher ups and bombard her like crazy! The first person I would contact is an attorney! I really hope you do that!

Never forget that you are capable and always have been. Don't let others talk down to you or make you believe you are less than capable.

The ball is in your court. You have nothing to fear but everything to look forward to. Won't it be a relief to be vindicated? Won't it be a relief to know that there is something you can do to protect your daughter, yourself and your RIGHTS not to be attacked by a power hungry vicious person? Think how many other potential victims you will save? You are capable CB, get it done!
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
There was a complaint that I had dishes in the sink.

Wow. I simply can't believe that even warranted a mention. Jabber and I should be in jail.

The second complaint was prescription pill bottles out where my kids can access them.

Uh....yeah. That's nuts.

Thirdly there was a complaint that my cats looked sick.

Really? That's now something social services needs to be involved with? I mean, if they're puking all over and you leave it, or it's something that somehow can be transmitted to humans, maybe...but "her cats look sick"?

She ended up telling me she is going to follow up with animal control to get a report on my cats, and once she verifies I did everything I was supposed to do, she is going to close my case.

Yeah. Still don't get it.

But I'm VERY glad that the case is being closed! I knew there was no way your house could be bad enough to cause a problem.

I agree that you should not speak to the principal. In fact, I'd see if there is any attorney willing to give you a hand, immediately (I know that cost is probably an issue...but there must be someone who does things pro bono or on a contingency if there's the possibility of a lawsuit) and I'd file that complaint.

She probably did make the call anonymously.
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
I find it a little bit funny that difficult child just had a big talk with me about getting tougher and standing up for myself. I suppose she's right. I do tend to let people walk all over me. I absolutely hate conflict. It gives me anxiety like you wouldn't believe. But when it comes to my kids that's where I draw the line. I just have a question for you all. Should I file the complaint before or after the IEP next Friday? I really want things to go well during the IEP and I don't want to mess things up.
 

dstc_99

Well-Known Member
I would look at it from this viewpoint.

1. Is the school doing what needs to be done to support your child?
2. Do you think with all that has just happened that the IEP will be impartial?

If you answered no to any of these then file now and have the backup you need ready for the IEP.
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
The reason why I am hesitant to file now is the fact that the principal threatened difficult child to send her back to her home school. Ummm......her homeschool is the school I work at and no way in hell do I want her here! She lasted two months last year and it was awful. Arguing in my office, terrible attendance, and straight F's. Also difficult child says my school is the worst school she's ever been to. She absolutely hated her teachers. At this school she is getting good grades and loves most of her teachers and aides. It would be a nightmare if she was transferred back to my school. Hence why I want the IEP with her new schedule first before I give a reason to have her kicked out of school and (yikes) sent back to mine.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
The reason why I am hesitant to file now is the fact that the principal threatened difficult child to send her back to her home school. Ummm......her homeschool is the school I work at and no way in hell do I want her here! She lasted two months last year and it was awful. Arguing in my office, terrible attendance, and straight F's. Also difficult child says my school is the worst school she's ever been to. She absolutely hated her teachers. At this school she is getting good grades and loves most of her teachers and aides. It would be a nightmare if she was transferred back to my school. Hence why I want the IEP with her new schedule first before I give a reason to have her kicked out of school and (yikes) sent back to mine.
The social worker probably was rolling her eyes the entire time she was there. Nobody takes ANYONE'S kids away for dirty dishes. They are a fact of life with kids at home. That isn't abuse, neglect, or anything. The principal is a nutjob, looking for trouble.

I don't get the animal control mention either. That's not their job. Animal control is on it. But...who cares? It will just show that you were honest.

I was told, when we had a social worker from another state staying overnight because a child we adopted was also staying overnight, that any complaints made about us HAVE to be "investigated." Even if it makes no sense, a social worker has to show up. She was telling hub and me some stories about stupid calls she got when she worked at CPS. Many are "get even with you" calls just because somebody doesn't like you and that is not seen as good for the caller.

If anyone in the U.S. wants to give somebody a scare, call CPS on your neighbor and say you suspect she is abusing her kid. They have to come out. It's insane.

However, the caller can get into serious trouble if CPS figures out it's a revenge call.
 

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
The principal has an agenda that is not in your daughters best interest. I would file the complaint. I would also ask for an advocate from the state office to be present at the meeting. Do not take your mother. The principal sees her as someone who supports her view of your situation.
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
The social worker pulled difficult child aside and interviewed her privately. I am very upset about the questions she asked her, such as "When your mom and her boyfriend fight, do they use their words or their fists?" My daughter's response was, "My boyfriend and my mom never fight." And she's right. We have been together three years and not one single argument. Then she asked difficult child who, if anybody, has been touching her inappropriately. Of course difficult child said nobody. Now why are my kids being interrogated over a messy house? I am very upset that my personal life is being investigated. Even though the social worker is closing the case, it really makes me mad that this had to happen in the first place.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
That's horrible. But that's CPS. They are always looking for sexual abuse. And I don't work for them...maybe there is a reason. At least your case is closed. Move on and try to put it behind you.
 

CrazyinVA

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Dishes in the sink? Wow, my kids would have been taken away for sure if that were a crime. They were usually rinsed off, but still in the sink. If they'd opened my fridge and found the science experiments in the old Tupperware containers I would have been in worse trouble I guess. When raising two difficult children alone, some things just weren't top priority for me.

Glad it was all unfounded. Good luck with the school stuff.
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
I am super glad I cleaned out the refrigerator before she came because sure enough she wanted to look in there. It really did need to be cleaned out. I found a couple packaged of raw fruit all the way in the back that spoiled weeks ago. I am so glad I thought about the refrigerator!
 
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