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Son is now homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 748880" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Poppy, I'm so sorry you are experiencing these struggles with your son. The sheer powerlessness and lack of control is scary.</p><p>While at the moment there is little you can do for your son, you've made a good choice to come here for support. You might try getting in touch with NAMI if you haven't already. They have excellent courses for parents which may offer you resources, information, clarity and guidance. Here's NAMI info:</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>CALL THE NAMI HELPLINE</strong></span></p><p><a href="https://www.conductdisorders.com/community/tel:8009506264" target="_blank">800-950-NAMI</a><a href="mailto:info@nami.org">info@nami.org</a></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>M-F, 10 AM - 6 PM ET</strong></span></p><p><a href="https://nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-HelpLine#crisis" target="_blank"><strong><u>FIND HELP IN A CRISIS</u></strong></a> OR TEXT "NAMI" TO 741741</p><p></p><p>If you haven't already sought professional support, it may be a good time to begin, you can check on therapists on these sites: <a href="https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html" target="_blank">Find a Therapist</a> and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists" target="_blank">Find Counselling, Therapists, Psychologists - Psychology Today Canada</a></p><p></p><p>I grew up with mental illness in my bio-family...... and my only child struggles with some sort of issue (undiagnosed) I understand the fear & powerlessness & sudden unexpected changes......I'm so sorry.......you didn't do anything wrong, it sounds as if you've done your very best for your son.....and now may be a time to work on acceptance......acceptance of what we can't change. To that end, I would encourage you to find as much support as you can for YOU, not for your son, but for you to find ways to create peace within......there often comes a point when we realize there is nothing else we can do but to surrender to what is......and believe me, I know how hard that is. </p><p></p><p>I put all of my energy into finding that peace within once it became apparent that there was nothing else I could do for my daughter but worry myself to death. Pema Chodron is a Buddhist nun who has written many excellent books on living with uncertainty....her books helped a lot. Meditation and prayer are very helpful. Relinquishing your son to your perception of a Higher Power is helpful. Youtube guided meditations for peace and calm help too. Develop a "toolbox" of ways in which you get yourself back to balance when your son is off the rails.......and use it. </p><p></p><p>Put the focus on you now, nurture yourself, be kind to yourself, you matter too. When we've put another's well being above our own for a long time, it's easy to forget what self care really means. Put your needs first now. Out of that commitment, changes will naturally occur which will give you a much better handle on how to cope with your son's choices and behaviors and allow you to accept what you can't change.</p><p></p><p>This is hard stuff. Keep posting it helps. I'm glad you're here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 748880, member: 13542"] Poppy, I'm so sorry you are experiencing these struggles with your son. The sheer powerlessness and lack of control is scary. While at the moment there is little you can do for your son, you've made a good choice to come here for support. You might try getting in touch with NAMI if you haven't already. They have excellent courses for parents which may offer you resources, information, clarity and guidance. Here's NAMI info: [SIZE=4][B]CALL THE NAMI HELPLINE[/B][/SIZE] [URL='https://www.conductdisorders.com/community/tel:8009506264']800-950-NAMI[/URL][EMAIL]info@nami.org[/EMAIL] [SIZE=4][B]M-F, 10 AM - 6 PM ET[/B][/SIZE] [URL='https://nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-HelpLine#crisis'][B][U]FIND HELP IN A CRISIS[/U][/B][/URL] OR TEXT "NAMI" TO 741741 If you haven't already sought professional support, it may be a good time to begin, you can check on therapists on these sites: [URL="https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html"]Find a Therapist[/URL] and [URL="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists"]Find Counselling, Therapists, Psychologists - Psychology Today Canada[/URL] I grew up with mental illness in my bio-family...... and my only child struggles with some sort of issue (undiagnosed) I understand the fear & powerlessness & sudden unexpected changes......I'm so sorry.......you didn't do anything wrong, it sounds as if you've done your very best for your son.....and now may be a time to work on acceptance......acceptance of what we can't change. To that end, I would encourage you to find as much support as you can for YOU, not for your son, but for you to find ways to create peace within......there often comes a point when we realize there is nothing else we can do but to surrender to what is......and believe me, I know how hard that is. I put all of my energy into finding that peace within once it became apparent that there was nothing else I could do for my daughter but worry myself to death. Pema Chodron is a Buddhist nun who has written many excellent books on living with uncertainty....her books helped a lot. Meditation and prayer are very helpful. Relinquishing your son to your perception of a Higher Power is helpful. Youtube guided meditations for peace and calm help too. Develop a "toolbox" of ways in which you get yourself back to balance when your son is off the rails.......and use it. Put the focus on you now, nurture yourself, be kind to yourself, you matter too. When we've put another's well being above our own for a long time, it's easy to forget what self care really means. Put your needs first now. Out of that commitment, changes will naturally occur which will give you a much better handle on how to cope with your son's choices and behaviors and allow you to accept what you can't change. This is hard stuff. Keep posting it helps. I'm glad you're here. [/QUOTE]
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