Son left Florida

Helpless29

Active Member
Found out my son will be arriving back in Chicago today , out of his 24k loan he only has 2k left . Not sure why he’s coming back but he has no where to go or stay at , no plans , but that’s him , he makes impulsive decisions. I’m sure he’ll go back to the same old “so called friends” who will probably be there to spend that 2k in drinking & drugs. He also left Florida before his court date . What scares me the most is all the bad crime out here but I know I can’t control the situation & he hasn’t even told me he was coming back . I’m glad I moved. & don’t have to worry about him showing up at my doorstep, he dosent even know our address. I’m going to try to shut off my phone off & enjoy my vacation to the Dells with my kids & my sons 11th birthday tomorrow. I will leave it in Gods hands
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Thanks for checking in.

Trust me, there is crime everywhere, including all over Florida, where he is now. Chicago just has the reputation.

I am glad you are safe. There is nothing you can do for your son right now. Our kids tend to be resourceful and learn to live life with no plans and survive. They get very street smart.

Hugs and prayers. Enjoy your time with the others.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Dear Helpless

Please enjoy your vacation. I always wanted to go to the Dells.

You know you have no control, no role, and no place to stand in your son's life, as he is living it now.

Your son has many gifts. And for his young age, he has had a vast amount of experience. He is well aware of his talents and his strengths. And he is well aware that he has had a great deal of support. He knows now, that recovery is within his grasp, and he knows how to access it. What I am trying to say here, is that he has all of the tools, the information, and the personal resources to help himself, when he decides.

The ball is in your court now, as it is in my own. Let me explain what I mean.

For all too long, I saw the problem of "my son" in him. I am now seeing that all along the problem has been in me. How I become disorganized and panic when I can't control him.

Gee whizz. What a surprise that I can't control another adult. I had a very difficult childhood with parents that were beyond the pale. When my son grew up I became triggered by him, when his behavior reminded me of my childhood, much of which I had tried to suppress. I only caught on to the full scope of this dynamic recently.

I think this is what our children do to us. They don't mean it. It's that we love them so much. They're tied into our guts so to speak.

Anyway, please have compassion for yourself. You are a wonderful and loving mother. A good and decent woman. Forgive yourself for being a human being. I will try too. Love Copa
 
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RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Helpless

Yes enjoy your time with your young children. They grow up so fast. Wow the Dells...that brings back a lot of memories for our family - all good because it was with our two older boys when they were little before J was born.

I'm so sorry you are a ride along on a ride you don't want to be on. Glad he doesn't know where you live also. You know he will not respect your home or you and your family.

This is something your son has to go through. We don't know why. My son went through hell and I don't know why. Only God has all the answers. We do not and never will. My son has a great family and great life also. He is still struggling with addiction in my mind and I wish he'd just be done and walk away. But he has almost finished his associates degree (will as of August 5) and that in itself is truly a miracle. Now it is time for my son to start his own life. When he moves out it will be the happiest day of my life for many reasons.

Stay strong. You are a loving mother even though you may not feel like it at times. I feel the same way. I have had to be tough in a way that I never knew I could be.
:staystrong::grouphugg:
 
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