My son was doing so good, things were perfect at home & then things took a turn for the worst. He was off home confinement & he had a 6pm curfew , he told me after work he was going to meet with his girlfriend to get pizza . Well I tracked his phone & he was not at the pizza place , he was in a old spot he use to hang out at , then I seen he took out $40 cash out of his bank account. I questioned him when he got home & he lied to me about meeting his girlfriend & said it was none of my business about the money . I had him take a drug test ( I had ordered some , in case I ever suspected use ) he took it & came out positive for cocaine.He took off the next day and as far as I know he’s smoking crack cocaine & sleeping in hotels & the trains sometimes. When I checked his room I seen a can with white burnt crust on it , so he must of been doing at night while we were sleeping when he was here . I couldn’t believe it,I know now I need to let him go .I can no longer be a part of this roller coaster ride . I need to accept that I cannot change him. I need to put my husband & little ones first , he has emotionally & mentally brought me down.