Sports Drinks Causing Rage in Adult Son

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Ellen Taylor, Jul 2, 2019.

  1. Ellen T.

    Ellen T. Swirling

    My 26 year old son lives with me. He has a good job and he pays me rent. I charge him the same amount I could get if I actually rented his room out. Growing up, he was an easy child. Rule follower. Never got into trouble. Played sports. He was B+ student and didn't work very hard. I raised him as a single Mom, sent him to college....a private college, and I paid for it all for him so he has no debt. While he was in college he started working out, lifting weights, and drinking sports drinks. I believe these powered drinks have ingredients in them that are not on the label. His personality changed. He is angry often and sometimes I am afraid of him, though he has never hurt me physically. He has said some very abusive things to me...as bad as it can get. I think it's the sports drinks. He was not an angry child. He never had temper tantrums. He has also hurt himself and has threatened suicide. I'm afraid that if I asked him to move out, he would hurt himself. I work from home and so I could live anywhere. I'm thinking of selling my house and moving a far enough distance away that he will want to get his own place...since he will want to keep his job. Has anyone else had a son drinking sports drinks that shows immense rage? These drinks have ruined him. They're unregulated and not controlled. He thinks they are making him healthy. As much as I want to get away from him, I fear for his safety and his well-being. Very torn.
     
  2. BusynMember

    BusynMember Active Member

    I would be more concerned about possible drug or steroid use than sports drinks. Honestly, although not healthy for you, so many young people and even older aged people drink them and do not have personality changes that that makes no sense. If your son is hooked on having a great body steroids sounds logical and scary. And very likely. They do change you. Immense rage sounds like either hard drugs or steroids. in my opinion more than just energy drinks.

    I dont know what you can do other than try to talk to him about the truth. He may or may not tell you. You do need to be safe. His moving out sounds good to me if he scares you.
     
  3. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I don't like those sports drinks but I have no experience with the kind of reactions you describe as being caused by them. My son takes supplements including high doses of caffeine. This concerns me, too.

    You are in the situation that many of us find ourselves when we come here. We are afraid. But we prioritize the safety and well-being of our children, rather than our own welfare.

    You are being abused:
    And he is at risk too:
    What if you give him a choice? Tell him either he gets psychological treatment or he needs to move out?
    Do you want to sell your house and move? If you would move only to deal with this situation rather than face it directly, I think is not realistic. There is no guarantee this will resolve the situation. It could get worse. Just because your son is not in your house, does not mean this will be resolved. If he is abusing drugs or steroids, this will likely continue.
    You would have lost any leverage you have by leaving.

    This kind of personality change is concerning. Something has to have caused it. The other possibility is mental illness. Some of which kick in in late teens and twenties.

    I think you need to call the police the next time he threatens suicide. I think you need to call the police too if he talks to you in a way you experience as abusive. Nobody should be afraid of their child in their own home.

    Have you considered Al Anon? There you would be helped to learn how to identify and enforce healthy boundaries.

    Welcome. I am glad you found us. I wish I could be of more help. Take care.
     
  4. Ellen T.

    Ellen T. Swirling

    --
    I think you what and possibly others don't realize is that these powdered sports protein drinks (I'm not talking about Gatorade) are not regulated by any regulatory body. They are known to have steroids in them that are not on the label. But they are 100% legal and you can buy this stuff in stores. My son is not using illegal drugs and he does not drink. It is the substances in these drinks that cause rage. It is a known problem and is well-documented.
     
  5. Ellen T.

    Ellen T. Swirling

    He doesn't know the drinks have steroids in them because it is not labeled. He is not trying to buy steroids. These powered sports drinks have all kinds of stuff in them that is not on the label...many of the ingredients are from China. I know these drinks changed him. It's a crime that they are legally sold in stores. They are drinks like "Amped" and "C2 Max". I'm not talking about Gatorade or Red Bull. You buy this stuff in health food stores but it's garbage. Steriods cause immense rage but they are not on the label of these drinks but it is well-known that they are in the drinks. My son is not trying to actually buy steroids. He thinks he is buying something healthy which is why he does not believe that it is the drinks. But I saw the change from when he started these drinks.
     
  6. Ellen T.

    Ellen T. Swirling

    Earlier tonight he left in a rage. Then sent me horrible text messages. I replied calmly and insisted he had to stop the drinks. He was with his girlfriend who is a very stable person so I knew he was safe. Then a couple hours went by and he then sent me an apology saying that I did not deserve anything like what he said, then he said he would give up the drinks. I think in the couple hours that went buy, the last sports drink wore off. Maybe his girlfriend helped him see reality. He probably went back and read the text messages and could not believe he said those things. This is the first time he ever said he would give up the drinks so I'm hopeful. I can see from the responses that there don't seem to be any other parents who have experienced these drinks here. They are poison and should be illegal. Most of them have creatine in them which is large doses leads to intense anger.
     
  7. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I just did a google search and found this:
    Anabolic steroids
    [​IMG]

    Anabolic steroids lurked in 81 products on our database. Most of them were marketed to men, promising to help build muscle fast. These drugs can lead to liver injury, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, and cause the testicles to shrink, as well as cause infertility in males, among other side effects.

    _____

    You are in no different situation than the rest of us who have kids that have been aggressive or violent towards us caused by mental illness or drugs or both. The disposition to violence and the abuse towards us in our homes needs to stop. I don't know if these drinks are addictive or if your son is unaware, but it amounts to the same thing. I believe you like the rest of us need to take a stand that this kind of thing does not happen around you and in your house.
     
  8. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    This is very good news indeed. You handled this beautifully.

    I hope you keep posting. I will go look up creatinine. This is horrible!!

    I found something on creatinine. I know you don't need this information but other parents do, which is why I am posting it.

    "Creatinine supplements are useful in bodybuilding and weightlifting for some time. It promotes the growth of body mass and lean muscle in a shorter period of time than if food was totally relied upon to provide sufficient creatine. There have been concerns that creatine supplements can cause mood swings. Proponents of creatine have reported anger, aggressive behavior, and mild to severe mood swings."
     
  9. Ellen T.

    Ellen T. Swirling

    Thank you Copabanana. That is exactly what I'm talking about...that info you found. My son is into weight lifting and played college sports and he has a very good physique. He has been drinking these drinks because he thinks it is helping him get big muscles. I feel he is being played by the companies who sell these drinks. At least if you're buying illegal drugs you know it's bad for you even if you buy it anyway. But all these drinks have these health claims and there are no regulations. Most of them come from companies in Utah because there are looser laws there for labeling things. I hope this horrible fight he and I had and his apology and statement that he will stop the drinks turns into a positive change. He has never actually said he would stop them until now. He is clean-cut looking, he dresses nicely and he works in an office with a well-paying computer job. By appearances, you would think he was just the kind of guy you'd want your daughter to date. Thank you for listening and sending support.
     
  10. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    It has already had a positive effect because you are communicating directly to him, drawing a line, and he heard you. Nothing can reverse that.

    Even if he does not stop right away, you are in control now, if you keep talking to him, and putting it to him. It's out there, now. You don't have to move. He will have to move, if he decides to continue.

    If he continues, which is probably likely, at least for a bit, you may have to up the ante, and make it clear to him that he either stops or he leaves, and give him a move out date, and written notice.

    You should not have to be his victim any longer and I would articulate that to him, directly. Make him accountable. He sounds like a highly intelligent and self-aware person, when not under the influence. Hold him accountable.

    It's really cut and dry. It's your house. He becomes verbally abusive. He becomes suicidal. He self-harms. He is angry a lot of the time. This cannot happen at your home. You cannot permit this and you will not. You cannot cower in your home, at the hands of your own child. This is the issue. He has a right to continue these drinks, and do whatever else he wants. But not in your home.

    You have turned the tables. Bravo.
     
  11. Ellen T.

    Ellen T. Swirling

    Thank you Copa! Your words are helping me understand how to stand my ground. He called me today from his office and apologized and said he wanted to make things right and that he would quit the drinks. I don't know if he will or not but he's never even said he would so I can't say we've been down this road before. I guess if he says he is going to, and doesn't, then that is a new situation I will have to deal with. I don't think they are addictive like alcohol but I really don't know. I never expected that products you buy in a health food store, places like GNC, would change my son's personality. It makes me think that maybe this increase in random shootings all over the place is in part a result of these sports drinks. These sports drinks have only gained momentum in the last 15 years. Before 15 years ago, you never heard about them. But the companies who make them are now taking out mainstream advertising in fitness magazines. As a result of the fact that people are trying to be more healthy, and not eat at McDonald's as much, there are more fitness magazines and websites, and more advertisements for these drinks.

    After the drinks wore off, my son may have shocked himself at what he said to me in text messages, and although I prefer in person talking to text messages, maybe it was good they were in text messages so he could go back and read them...which maybe is what prompted his desperate apology. All this rage is not normal for him. As a child growing up, he rarely cried, was mostly always happy, and was the easiest kid in the world to raise. There were really no issues. I was a single Mom the whole time, but I had a good job, and we were very financially secure. So to hear him say these awful things...well, it was shocking. This situation is not something I could ever share with my family (siblings and mother...father is passed) so judgmental and wouldn't actually care...might even be glad about in a sick way. Thank you for your support.
     
  12. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    You are welcome! Please keep us posted. We're here with you.

    To me one important thing is to keep you focus on him and his choices and not the drinks' manufacturers, advertising, non-regulation, etc. I am not saying these are not important (and horrible). They are. But with this you have no control. It gets you nowhere. You spin your wheel feeling more impotent and angry and helpless. (*Of course you can decide to make this a mission at this point, and organize politically around this issue, if you choose. But first step is the personal. Getting your house in order. That is what I think.

    Where you do have control is in yourself and your home. What you want. What you need. What you will not tolerate. What needs to happen now. And say it. And act on it.

    This is where your power lies.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2019