My emotions are so raw...it's been a tough few months. My husband's adult daughter has lived with us for about a year now, along with her cat (she's lived with us on and off since childhood.) She views every serious discussion as a negative issue, and immediately melts down into crying, and blaming me for making her moods sad...this is usually in front of my husband...and it feels incredibly manipulative. The past is not pretty...6 to 7 years ago, she was treated for bulimia with several in-patient stays at eating disorder clinics, diagnosed Borderline (BPD), cutting, drugs, and cruddy boyfriends. During those particular times, my husband was deployed with the military...so I dealt with all of it alone. She was resentful, and shut me out many times. During these times, she would befriend other adult women who seemed to play the role of surrogate mothers. One woman in particular (who is a former boyfriends mother and a diagnosed anorexic) crossed many parental boundaries, and I believe even participated in a family counseling session. Just this past weekend, she and her new boyfriend went to a gathering at this woman's home. Needless to say...I was crushed. Fast forward to recent times; good things...she's in school, has a full-time job, and a boyfriend who seems decent (although full of himself.) She comes and goes from our home, and has almost no home responsibilities (she pays $50 a week rent...which we started charging because her Amazon shopping was ridiculous, and we put the money aside to give her when she finally moves out.) The cat issue: the cat soils around our home. I've thrown away rugs, and use an expensive cleaning solution to remove the urine and odor. She acts like this is our responsibility, and is unhappy that we've demanded the cat stay locked in a bathroom when she's not home. There's no apology, or offer to help clean, or replace the soiled items. I am a relatively quiet person at home...which she interprets as me being angry with her...she thinks my mood is all about her. She doesn't seem to realize that I have my own issues, and am not comfortable sharing them with her...as she has repeated very personal conversations to her boyfriend and his family (I've been told almost verbatim by her boyfriend's mother.) When asked about repeating our conversation, she down-plays her responsibility in betraying my trust, and acts like I have issues or says that wasn't her intention. I've witnessed her in social settings...she very much enjoys telling stories, and have no doubt my personal life has been used as some of those tails. I've tried so many times talking to my husband...plain and simple...he doesn't see or get it. He then in-turn tries to convince me that I'm upset because he's not reacting the way I want him to. No...really...I just want him to get it!! Understand what's happening right in front of him. I've been supportive towards this girl...constant praise and I firmly believe I've loved and treated her like my biological children. I've been in therapy on and off for years. Yes, I acknowledge my own issues. But feeling alone in my home life is depressing me more and more. I want to join a gypsy caravan and disappear. Thank you for giving me a safe place to rant.