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Substance Abuse
Teetering on the edge
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760438" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>None of us like not communicating with our kids. I just realized that Kay really never communicated in a kind way ,(unless she wanted money and if we said no she called us every name your imagination can take a person!) If we asked how she's doing she said shi**y and blamed and abused us...never a.kind word. She did not ever ask about the rest of us and never even called/ calls to inquire about her son whom her sister is raising. She stopped all contact months ago over her conspiracy theories (long story).</p><p></p><p>I wanted her in my life. The home and.mobile home we bought her were close by for easy access to us. The only time we saw her was when WE visited and I would end up cleaning her filthy home while hub would do the yard as she took naps and Lee drank.</p><p></p><p>I think we all wish to stay in contact but it doesn't always work out And to be honest, once Kay told us she won't speak to us if we won't give her $$$ anymore (most of it gone because we had already given it to her) it has been oddly peaceful. I feel guilty saying this but she wore us down and affected our health. We are happier and healthier now. In fact, life is calm and normal.</p><p></p><p>But.....it took us ten years to let go and.let God. We now spend more time with our two kind, loving, thriving children and our grands and great friends. They had been neglected for Kay. No more.</p><p></p><p>Everyone here has a story. Few of us ever broke contact with our children until it became clear we had no good relationship anyway and that it would kill us to continue. We are now both over 65. Not going to die for Kay's abuse.</p><p></p><p>Do try Al Anon. There are zoom meeting all over the world and you don't have to live close by. Or you CAN go in person. I can't imagine doing this alone. We gained our tools from our therapist and Nar Anon and use them every day. It can truly kill to stress so much you if it keeps up. And all help is good...you take what is useful and leave the rest</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760438, member: 23706"] None of us like not communicating with our kids. I just realized that Kay really never communicated in a kind way ,(unless she wanted money and if we said no she called us every name your imagination can take a person!) If we asked how she's doing she said shi**y and blamed and abused us...never a.kind word. She did not ever ask about the rest of us and never even called/ calls to inquire about her son whom her sister is raising. She stopped all contact months ago over her conspiracy theories (long story). I wanted her in my life. The home and.mobile home we bought her were close by for easy access to us. The only time we saw her was when WE visited and I would end up cleaning her filthy home while hub would do the yard as she took naps and Lee drank. I think we all wish to stay in contact but it doesn't always work out And to be honest, once Kay told us she won't speak to us if we won't give her $$$ anymore (most of it gone because we had already given it to her) it has been oddly peaceful. I feel guilty saying this but she wore us down and affected our health. We are happier and healthier now. In fact, life is calm and normal. But.....it took us ten years to let go and.let God. We now spend more time with our two kind, loving, thriving children and our grands and great friends. They had been neglected for Kay. No more. Everyone here has a story. Few of us ever broke contact with our children until it became clear we had no good relationship anyway and that it would kill us to continue. We are now both over 65. Not going to die for Kay's abuse. Do try Al Anon. There are zoom meeting all over the world and you don't have to live close by. Or you CAN go in person. I can't imagine doing this alone. We gained our tools from our therapist and Nar Anon and use them every day. It can truly kill to stress so much you if it keeps up. And all help is good...you take what is useful and leave the rest Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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