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Substance Abuse
Teetering on the edge
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 762557" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>“Do I walk away silently and let him continue, or send an email and say I’m here when you’re ready to get help? “</p><p></p><p>Welcome. You mentioned “insanity.” I lived with it too long. I, personally, regret this. Now that I’m at a certain age, I look back and feel “badly” that I gave up a LOT in my personal life because I thought it was my duty to help. And combined with some personal health problems….wow …many losses. And the ultimate loss..it didn’t help.</p><p>My daughter must make her own personal decisions to get help and to behave appropriately. I can’t do this for her. You can’t do this for your son.</p><p></p><p>Im not sure about sending this email you mention. Maybe..in a limited way you might help like giving him a contact fir AA. He is 31, educated and so forth. How much help does he really need? It’s his decision and choice alone to get help and make good use of that help.</p><p></p><p>Consider attendance at one of the 12 step programs for YOU. Al Anon or Families Anonymous. You can go in person or on line.</p><p></p><p>I recall my first meeting at FA. Yikes. I mostly cried. I was totally destroyed. But, afterwards we got in the car and my husband said something like “Nomad! They are right. There is light and hope for US!!!” For us. For you.</p><p></p><p> What happens next for our adult children is up to them. It’s on them. You might, MIGHT, give them a resource…but they must make a choice to use it or not. You can’t get enmeshed. </p><p></p><p> Focus on yourself. We had to focus on ourselves. We can control our own thoughts, actions etc. Not theirs.</p><p></p><p> It was if a lightbulb went off and we felt joy for the first time in a long time.</p><p></p><p>Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 762557, member: 4152"] “Do I walk away silently and let him continue, or send an email and say I’m here when you’re ready to get help? “ Welcome. You mentioned “insanity.” I lived with it too long. I, personally, regret this. Now that I’m at a certain age, I look back and feel “badly” that I gave up a LOT in my personal life because I thought it was my duty to help. And combined with some personal health problems….wow …many losses. And the ultimate loss..it didn’t help. My daughter must make her own personal decisions to get help and to behave appropriately. I can’t do this for her. You can’t do this for your son. Im not sure about sending this email you mention. Maybe..in a limited way you might help like giving him a contact fir AA. He is 31, educated and so forth. How much help does he really need? It’s his decision and choice alone to get help and make good use of that help. Consider attendance at one of the 12 step programs for YOU. Al Anon or Families Anonymous. You can go in person or on line. I recall my first meeting at FA. Yikes. I mostly cried. I was totally destroyed. But, afterwards we got in the car and my husband said something like “Nomad! They are right. There is light and hope for US!!!” For us. For you. What happens next for our adult children is up to them. It’s on them. You might, MIGHT, give them a resource…but they must make a choice to use it or not. You can’t get enmeshed. Focus on yourself. We had to focus on ourselves. We can control our own thoughts, actions etc. Not theirs. It was if a lightbulb went off and we felt joy for the first time in a long time. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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