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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 763317" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Oh no Copa!</p><p>I am so sorry to hear that you broke your arm. Praying for quick healing and recovery! </p><p>I am trying to process the shock of how Tornado presented. She looked old, haggard. Like those before and after pictures of years of meth use. I don’t know if she sees that in her state of mind.</p><p>Holidays are hard. Family time is awesome, but that ever present ache. </p><p></p><p>You are right Copa, love is not that. I am guessing she showed up out of paranoia and desperation, because she seldom shows when she is “out there.” She showed up again riding a moped a few days afterwards. Came in the house and showered, asked for clothes. We have not seen her since. Tornado had a court sentencing on 11/23. I can search that up on a site online. She missed it, so she has a bench warrant and hopefully they will find her soon and she will be back in jail. What a thing to wish for. But, at least I know she has a roof over her head, and another chance to try at rehab. </p><p></p><p>Yes, sad, but not broken. What good does it do for us to take on the degradation of their life choices and be miserable? What good does it do to sacrifice our joy? I am trying to focus on being grateful for the time I had raising my two. There are many fond memories. I could not bare to look at old photos before, but my albums were in such a state that I had to remove the pictures. I am slowly going through them and reducing duplicates and such. I have healed enough to the point where reviewing the past does not make me think of my two now, as the little children I raised. Years ago, I would be lost in the FOG and depressed, reeling the tapes. Maybe it is that this road has been so long, the sting of their path hits upon emotional callouses built up. They are adults and will choose as they do. Sad, but not broken. If we allow ourselves to be broken, we are literally following their path of destruction. Moths to the flame. No, just no. It will be a continuous battle to rise above and live in gratitude and grace. But totally worth the effort. Much love to you dear friend and again, prayers for healing.</p><p>Gentle (((hugs)))</p><p>New Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 763317, member: 19522"] Oh no Copa! I am so sorry to hear that you broke your arm. Praying for quick healing and recovery! I am trying to process the shock of how Tornado presented. She looked old, haggard. Like those before and after pictures of years of meth use. I don’t know if she sees that in her state of mind. Holidays are hard. Family time is awesome, but that ever present ache. You are right Copa, love is not that. I am guessing she showed up out of paranoia and desperation, because she seldom shows when she is “out there.” She showed up again riding a moped a few days afterwards. Came in the house and showered, asked for clothes. We have not seen her since. Tornado had a court sentencing on 11/23. I can search that up on a site online. She missed it, so she has a bench warrant and hopefully they will find her soon and she will be back in jail. What a thing to wish for. But, at least I know she has a roof over her head, and another chance to try at rehab. Yes, sad, but not broken. What good does it do for us to take on the degradation of their life choices and be miserable? What good does it do to sacrifice our joy? I am trying to focus on being grateful for the time I had raising my two. There are many fond memories. I could not bare to look at old photos before, but my albums were in such a state that I had to remove the pictures. I am slowly going through them and reducing duplicates and such. I have healed enough to the point where reviewing the past does not make me think of my two now, as the little children I raised. Years ago, I would be lost in the FOG and depressed, reeling the tapes. Maybe it is that this road has been so long, the sting of their path hits upon emotional callouses built up. They are adults and will choose as they do. Sad, but not broken. If we allow ourselves to be broken, we are literally following their path of destruction. Moths to the flame. No, just no. It will be a continuous battle to rise above and live in gratitude and grace. But totally worth the effort. Much love to you dear friend and again, prayers for healing. Gentle (((hugs))) New Leaf [/QUOTE]
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