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The Last Straw Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 761138" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Sweet LADY, THIS IS THe CYCLE OF ADDICTION. IT is a lot like the abuse of a spouse. They are horrible to us, then because they want our money they apologize. And we are grateful and are happy to admit every little thing we have ever done wrong. We feel good demeaning our mothering skills to cleanse the air. We think we have squared it out. We know we were loving mothers, but all people make mistakes, right?</p><p></p><p>We expect things to be better now. Then they come back with venom, like the spouse who cried to us and swore he would never beat us again if only we would forgive him and give him another chance. We are stunned (each time) because we thought this was a new beginning, a fresh start. We are devastated.</p><p></p><p>Usually as soon as we deny them money, the abuse starts all over again. I have learned that, at least for us, Kay was only.nice to us if we gave her money on her terms. It had to be on her terms. As soon as we tried to no longer pay for her to not thrive she was back to nasty again. It was like a merry go round. This is NOT normal parent/kid behavior. We have two other kids! They are furious with Kay. She tried to get money from them too but they never would give any, so she doesn't talk to any of us.</p><p></p><p>Kay is all about what we will do for her. She is not about giving back though.</p><p></p><p>We are off the merry go round now. We are happier. Her son is in the custody of my daughter Amy. If I had not had Amy I would have called CPS. I am too old to raise a toddler to eighteen. But there are young parents that want kids and can do it. We were lucky that Amy fought for Jaden though.</p><p></p><p>I guess the point.of this ramble is that your daughter is pretty typical of the adults who bring us here, and that you are doing all anyone can. Money doesn't help them grow up and we can't live forever. Then what, if they are dependent.on.us? They must NOT be. Or how will they survive once we are gone?</p><p></p><p>Be good to yourself. I suggest Nar Anon online Zoom meetings and talk therapy or at least one of them. You don't have to feel alone. You are not alone.</p><p></p><p>Love and prayers to a brave kind woman.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 761138, member: 23706"] Sweet LADY, THIS IS THe CYCLE OF ADDICTION. IT is a lot like the abuse of a spouse. They are horrible to us, then because they want our money they apologize. And we are grateful and are happy to admit every little thing we have ever done wrong. We feel good demeaning our mothering skills to cleanse the air. We think we have squared it out. We know we were loving mothers, but all people make mistakes, right? We expect things to be better now. Then they come back with venom, like the spouse who cried to us and swore he would never beat us again if only we would forgive him and give him another chance. We are stunned (each time) because we thought this was a new beginning, a fresh start. We are devastated. Usually as soon as we deny them money, the abuse starts all over again. I have learned that, at least for us, Kay was only.nice to us if we gave her money on her terms. It had to be on her terms. As soon as we tried to no longer pay for her to not thrive she was back to nasty again. It was like a merry go round. This is NOT normal parent/kid behavior. We have two other kids! They are furious with Kay. She tried to get money from them too but they never would give any, so she doesn't talk to any of us. Kay is all about what we will do for her. She is not about giving back though. We are off the merry go round now. We are happier. Her son is in the custody of my daughter Amy. If I had not had Amy I would have called CPS. I am too old to raise a toddler to eighteen. But there are young parents that want kids and can do it. We were lucky that Amy fought for Jaden though. I guess the point.of this ramble is that your daughter is pretty typical of the adults who bring us here, and that you are doing all anyone can. Money doesn't help them grow up and we can't live forever. Then what, if they are dependent.on.us? They must NOT be. Or how will they survive once we are gone? Be good to yourself. I suggest Nar Anon online Zoom meetings and talk therapy or at least one of them. You don't have to feel alone. You are not alone. Love and prayers to a brave kind woman. [/QUOTE]
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The Last Straw Part 2
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