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Substance Abuse
The mystery..it's not good
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<blockquote data-quote="mommabear34" data-source="post: 705984" data-attributes="member: 21243"><p>I am so sorry for what you are going through... I feel your pain... We lost my older brother a few years ago because he couldn't stop using and became so depressed he committed suicide... and now my younger brother is doing the same thing. He says that he's been clean for the past few months but when I showed up unannounced a few weeks ago and let myself in I found drugs all over the table... my mom has been trying to help but doesn't know how... she was paying his rent until I begged her to stop... she did the same thing with my older brother too. It's a very helpless feeling... you want to help them but you know that anything worth something will be sold for drugs... and if bills are paid for them (my brother is 25) any money that would have gone to his rent will go to drugs... it's awful. He's even sold bags of groceries that were bought for him for his habit.</p><p> So until he actually really wants to be sober and stay clean there is nothing you can do. Getting his bank statements and trying to figure out where his money is going and all of that stuff is only going to drive you crazy. Until he decides that he's ready to get some help all you can really do is let him know that you love him and miss him and will be there for him when he's ready to get sober.</p><p></p><p>In my experience anything more than that will absolutely drive you nuts. What I did was talk to my brother about the dangers of street drugs... especially because fentanyl is being cut into pretty much everything sold on the street these days as it's really cheap and really potent... fatal. Where I live they are starting to make naloxone kits available to the public in order to reduce the amount of opiate related overdoses. Most pharmacies carry them and depending on where you live you may be able to get one for free... if that was one of your concerns... because it was definitely one of mine.</p><p></p><p>They say that addicts have to "hit bottom" before they will accept help and try to get sober. Hitting bottom looks different for everyone. For some it's enough to overdose or lose their home... for others much worse.</p><p></p><p> Addiction is a family disease... it affects everyone around the person who's using... don't let your son's addiction tear you and your family apart too if you can help it. Seek out help for yourself too, you need it and deserve it. As a mother especially. You need the support. Maybe an al-anon group or a counceller ... but something that is just for you. Addicts don't truly realize the affect they have on their families. And they are very good manipulators. But remember that it is the drugs.. not your child... when someone is using and looking for that next fix that is the only thing that is important to them. It's sad and awful but it's true. I'm sure your son loves you but he just might not be ready to get clean yet. If that's the case please for your own sanity do not let his addiction tear you and the rest of your family apart. Look after yourself. Stop driving yourself crazy. I wish you the very best in your journey. Good luck with your son. </p><p></p><p>Added... I read that you have a family counceller, that is awesome. But I still think you should take time out just for yourself ❤</p><p>❤❤❤</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mommabear34, post: 705984, member: 21243"] I am so sorry for what you are going through... I feel your pain... We lost my older brother a few years ago because he couldn't stop using and became so depressed he committed suicide... and now my younger brother is doing the same thing. He says that he's been clean for the past few months but when I showed up unannounced a few weeks ago and let myself in I found drugs all over the table... my mom has been trying to help but doesn't know how... she was paying his rent until I begged her to stop... she did the same thing with my older brother too. It's a very helpless feeling... you want to help them but you know that anything worth something will be sold for drugs... and if bills are paid for them (my brother is 25) any money that would have gone to his rent will go to drugs... it's awful. He's even sold bags of groceries that were bought for him for his habit. So until he actually really wants to be sober and stay clean there is nothing you can do. Getting his bank statements and trying to figure out where his money is going and all of that stuff is only going to drive you crazy. Until he decides that he's ready to get some help all you can really do is let him know that you love him and miss him and will be there for him when he's ready to get sober. In my experience anything more than that will absolutely drive you nuts. What I did was talk to my brother about the dangers of street drugs... especially because fentanyl is being cut into pretty much everything sold on the street these days as it's really cheap and really potent... fatal. Where I live they are starting to make naloxone kits available to the public in order to reduce the amount of opiate related overdoses. Most pharmacies carry them and depending on where you live you may be able to get one for free... if that was one of your concerns... because it was definitely one of mine. They say that addicts have to "hit bottom" before they will accept help and try to get sober. Hitting bottom looks different for everyone. For some it's enough to overdose or lose their home... for others much worse. Addiction is a family disease... it affects everyone around the person who's using... don't let your son's addiction tear you and your family apart too if you can help it. Seek out help for yourself too, you need it and deserve it. As a mother especially. You need the support. Maybe an al-anon group or a counceller ... but something that is just for you. Addicts don't truly realize the affect they have on their families. And they are very good manipulators. But remember that it is the drugs.. not your child... when someone is using and looking for that next fix that is the only thing that is important to them. It's sad and awful but it's true. I'm sure your son loves you but he just might not be ready to get clean yet. If that's the case please for your own sanity do not let his addiction tear you and the rest of your family apart. Look after yourself. Stop driving yourself crazy. I wish you the very best in your journey. Good luck with your son. Added... I read that you have a family counceller, that is awesome. But I still think you should take time out just for yourself ❤ ❤❤❤ [/QUOTE]
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