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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="Fairy dust" data-source="post: 763246" data-attributes="member: 25457"><p>Hi. </p><p>I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. You need to walk the path that you feel comfortable with. After a decade and a half of trying to fix my son who has mental health and drug issues I finally realized that I had to love myself enough to let him go. All the money, spaces to live, rescuing him from his poor choices didn’t fix anything. so many things were broken, and at my very bottom I had to stand up and put the pieces of me together again. It took therapy, prayer, lots of reading, self care to see that I had become an enabler as well. I must have read the article on detachment a hundred times. You cannot fix him. He has to want to fix himself. Interestingly enough, when I was finally able to step back and let go of his responsibility, things started to change. Baby steps for sure but he is taking responsibility for his life, making better decisions , lives independently. Our relationship has changed. I have set strong boundaries and there are times I still hurt. But I also recognize that I will not be here forever and his life is what he makes it to be. I will always be in the background to support him, but he makes his own decisions. Some are not what I had envisioned but it is what it is. Love yourself enough to let him go. Otherwise this will destroy you and your remaining family. Sending hugs and love!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fairy dust, post: 763246, member: 25457"] Hi. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. You need to walk the path that you feel comfortable with. After a decade and a half of trying to fix my son who has mental health and drug issues I finally realized that I had to love myself enough to let him go. All the money, spaces to live, rescuing him from his poor choices didn’t fix anything. so many things were broken, and at my very bottom I had to stand up and put the pieces of me together again. It took therapy, prayer, lots of reading, self care to see that I had become an enabler as well. I must have read the article on detachment a hundred times. You cannot fix him. He has to want to fix himself. Interestingly enough, when I was finally able to step back and let go of his responsibility, things started to change. Baby steps for sure but he is taking responsibility for his life, making better decisions , lives independently. Our relationship has changed. I have set strong boundaries and there are times I still hurt. But I also recognize that I will not be here forever and his life is what he makes it to be. I will always be in the background to support him, but he makes his own decisions. Some are not what I had envisioned but it is what it is. Love yourself enough to let him go. Otherwise this will destroy you and your remaining family. Sending hugs and love! [/QUOTE]
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