I posted a couple of weeks ago about my 20yr old difficult child coming home after 45day residential and relapse within 1 week. difficult child is BiPolar (BP) and currently not taking medications. She was extremely suicidal and slept in the street a couple nights and we brought her home. Had a couple weeks of coming and going (still doing drugs) and then did good for about 7 days. Staying clean, home every night (of course I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, she can't do this on her own).
She left on Saturday night, completely out of contact for 2 nights and just walked back in the door. No confrontations, just came in, said hello and went up to her room. I asked where she'd been and got a shrug and "I don't know". I didn't do anything at that point - trying to think it through...
I'm hoping to get advise on how I tell her that its time for her to make a decision. Or do I just let her know my decision? This can't go on. She won't see her therapist, won't go back to a program, won't take medications. She is not confrontational or abusive at any time, just complacent and will not comply. She doesn't have her car, no money and the only thing I'm doing is providing a bed - but even that seems like we're allowing her to continue.
So many on this site has had to do just this. How? I don't even know how to go down this road... I mean, what even to say - I know she'll say things like I don't want to live, I'll have to sleep on the street, etc. She won't yell or be angry, just have that "lost" look like are you really going to do this. An argument or an out and out blow up would seem easier at this point, but she won't go there, never has. I know that really isn't a good way, but being in a position to react rather than to respond responsibly sounds like the easy way out.. I'm just broken hearted, but so so tired and frighten for her, her existence, etc...
Any suggestions, guidance, words of wisdom?
Thank you so much for listening, posting, all the sharing. This site is a blessing. I don't comment often (feel like, how when it's all such a mess on this end), but your strength and support to each other is very encouraging. Hugs go out to each and everyone of you and your daily struggles, there is comfort in knowing others are able to detach, love from afar and find joy while trying to let go of our babies and let them fall so hopefully they can grow.
She left on Saturday night, completely out of contact for 2 nights and just walked back in the door. No confrontations, just came in, said hello and went up to her room. I asked where she'd been and got a shrug and "I don't know". I didn't do anything at that point - trying to think it through...
I'm hoping to get advise on how I tell her that its time for her to make a decision. Or do I just let her know my decision? This can't go on. She won't see her therapist, won't go back to a program, won't take medications. She is not confrontational or abusive at any time, just complacent and will not comply. She doesn't have her car, no money and the only thing I'm doing is providing a bed - but even that seems like we're allowing her to continue.
So many on this site has had to do just this. How? I don't even know how to go down this road... I mean, what even to say - I know she'll say things like I don't want to live, I'll have to sleep on the street, etc. She won't yell or be angry, just have that "lost" look like are you really going to do this. An argument or an out and out blow up would seem easier at this point, but she won't go there, never has. I know that really isn't a good way, but being in a position to react rather than to respond responsibly sounds like the easy way out.. I'm just broken hearted, but so so tired and frighten for her, her existence, etc...
Any suggestions, guidance, words of wisdom?
Thank you so much for listening, posting, all the sharing. This site is a blessing. I don't comment often (feel like, how when it's all such a mess on this end), but your strength and support to each other is very encouraging. Hugs go out to each and everyone of you and your daily struggles, there is comfort in knowing others are able to detach, love from afar and find joy while trying to let go of our babies and let them fall so hopefully they can grow.