Torn-confused

Helpless29

Active Member
I haven’t been on here for awhile, & nothing has changed , my 16 year old son has continued to runaway, lie, steal ,rob people & smoke weed. Tomorrow we will be in court for aggravated battery charges & battery. He got into fights at school & while the teachers tried stopping the fight the staff got hit or pushed & they pressed charges.He lives with his father & he has custody which was a hard decision I had to make awhile ago.We will both be in court with my son. Today my son calls me & begs me if he can come live back home but I can’t let him.I have 2 small boys at home a 3 & 7yr old. I can’t have him doing drugs & put my kids in danger. He promised he would change but I know he won’t , up to this point he barely wants to visit but now he wants to come back home.I feel sad & hurt to tell him No but I know he is trying to manipulate me ,& saying everything I want to hear but it still hurts
 

ForeverSpring

Well-Known Member
I am sorry. Sounds like Dad is getting too tough on him. Something suddenly prompted him to do the difficult child's common begging and promising act to get sympathy and favors.

Whatever is going on over there, too bad. It would not be good at all for your littles to have him there and he isnt going to change.

I am sorry he is playing with your hurting heart but in my opinion it cant even be a consideration.

Love and light!
 

Helpless29

Active Member
I am sorry. Sounds like Dad is getting too tough on him. Something suddenly prompted him to do the difficult child's usually begging and promising to get sympathy. Whatever is going on over there, too bad. It would not be good at all for your littles to have him there and he isnt going to change.
I know, dad is asking co
I am sorry. Sounds like Dad is getting too tough on him. Something suddenly prompted him to do the difficult child's common begging and promising act to get sympathy and favors.

Whatever is going on over there, too bad. It would not be good at all for your littles to have him there and he isnt going to change.

I am sorry he is playing with your hurting heart but in my opinion it cant even be a consideration.

Love and light!
I know , there’s so many people after him for robbing or stealing from them for drugs , he would be putting us all in danger. I know his promises our lies, now he wants to tell me what a good mom I am , he’s never told me that. I know he’s scared because dad is asking judge to put him on house arrest or lock him up in juvenile detention.
 

Helpless29

Active Member
Why am I letting his words get to me , I know it’s to get what he wants, I been down this road with him so many times.I wouldn’t let him come back but why does it hurt so much to tell him NO
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Why am I letting his words get to me
Because he's a child, and he's your child. Of course his distress affects you, and of course you feel for him.

I feel for him, too. He is in way over his head.

Perhaps this may be a blessing in disguise. If probation gets involved, maybe they will send him to a residential treatment center and he will be able to get help.

What is your legal status? Do you have share legal custody with his father?

I am unclear. You mention marijuana. And then you mention he steals to buy drugs. Are you referring to marijuana, here?

I believe that telling the truth is the right thing. I would explain it to him this way: You have been hitting and hurting people. Your brothers are little. Until you are safe to be around, you cannot be around them.

But the thing is, he may not know how to control his aggression. He may be a victim, here, too, of his aggressive and impulsive actions. I think he needs residential treatment where he can be contained, diagnosed and treated. He may not be a bad boy. But have some yet undiagnosed condition. There is another thread that is active right now by Baggy Bags. Her teenage son is showing some of the same behaviors. You might want to read some of her threads.

I am so very sorry this is happening. It is so very, very hard. For me, too.
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
He is very young. My son started down a bad bath at the age of 15. I had to sit back and watch him try to destroy himself.

This went on for seven years.

I definitely would be so grateful that he has a dad that he can live with right now. I think that is the best place for him. Stand firm. You may be in for a long ride; I hope not.
 

toughlovin

Well-Known Member
It is hard to tell your kid No especially when they sound sincere and say the right things etc. they can be very good at manipulation. You did the right thing. Your job right now is to protect your younger children and you are absolutely right it puts them at risk to have your older son come home. So stay strong.
 
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