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Toxic Friends-Kicking you when you're down
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 757403" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Jmom. This happened with us too. A number of times when my son squatted at a property I own in the backyard, smoking pot, living like an animal. The police were called a number of times. I filed a letter of trespass. I was near the point of filing a restraining order.</p><p></p><p>This undid me. I felt terrorized. My bottom was when I went outside to the backyard. I had not realized he was plopped down on the grass. Another bottom was when he pushed himself into the back door. I dissociated. I won't tell you what I did.</p><p></p><p>Nobody can know where we go with this suffering. I for one have learned to NEVER ever let myself go there again. The only thing that will guard against returning there, is BOUNDARIES. Firm, inviolable boundaries, and putting myself first, not my son. My son doesn't even get to be third. He is on his own. He needs to be first to himself. I can't do it. I don't know how I feel about all of the years I tried. But I have stopped. All of you bear witness to this.</p><p>10 years ago this happened to me. My neighbors turned on me, gossiped about me, judged me. It was the worst of Hell. I wish I had not gone there. Why? There is a prison saying you may know. Piece of <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />. POS, if I am censored.</p><p></p><p>Crisis, to oneself or to others or to all of us together, like is happening now with Coronavirus, brings out the truth. Circumstances had not yet brought out the reality of this woman. Now you know. End of story.</p><p></p><p>You have not one thing to justify to this woman or about this woman.</p><p> No. I would want her OUT of my book and OUT of my life. I would try as hard as I could to get her OUT of my mind. She does not deserve space there.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes feelings alone are enough to make these determinations. Do we feel empowered or weakened> Do we feel clear or confused? Do we feel better or worse? We don't have to cognitively understand these things. Sometimes the brain learns last. And the gut and heart are far, far in front. You know the truth. You've felt it. Go by that!1</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 757403, member: 18958"] Jmom. This happened with us too. A number of times when my son squatted at a property I own in the backyard, smoking pot, living like an animal. The police were called a number of times. I filed a letter of trespass. I was near the point of filing a restraining order. This undid me. I felt terrorized. My bottom was when I went outside to the backyard. I had not realized he was plopped down on the grass. Another bottom was when he pushed himself into the back door. I dissociated. I won't tell you what I did. Nobody can know where we go with this suffering. I for one have learned to NEVER ever let myself go there again. The only thing that will guard against returning there, is BOUNDARIES. Firm, inviolable boundaries, and putting myself first, not my son. My son doesn't even get to be third. He is on his own. He needs to be first to himself. I can't do it. I don't know how I feel about all of the years I tried. But I have stopped. All of you bear witness to this. 10 years ago this happened to me. My neighbors turned on me, gossiped about me, judged me. It was the worst of Hell. I wish I had not gone there. Why? There is a prison saying you may know. Piece of :censored2:. POS, if I am censored. Crisis, to oneself or to others or to all of us together, like is happening now with Coronavirus, brings out the truth. Circumstances had not yet brought out the reality of this woman. Now you know. End of story. You have not one thing to justify to this woman or about this woman. No. I would want her OUT of my book and OUT of my life. I would try as hard as I could to get her OUT of my mind. She does not deserve space there. Sometimes feelings alone are enough to make these determinations. Do we feel empowered or weakened> Do we feel clear or confused? Do we feel better or worse? We don't have to cognitively understand these things. Sometimes the brain learns last. And the gut and heart are far, far in front. You know the truth. You've felt it. Go by that!1 [/QUOTE]
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