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Parent Emeritus
Unconditional Love vs. Detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="Miracle" data-source="post: 759773" data-attributes="member: 26597"><p>My 20 yo son is in a mental health/treatment center. He’ll be discharged on the 27th to Sober Living.</p><p></p><p>Had a phone chat with him and the therapist today. She said she doesn’t feel he has any trauma or significant issues - his psychosis was likely caused by drugs (mostly weed). She recommended Sober Living near home and monthly injections for medications. Son was argumentative and set on Sober Living where he is (19 hrs from home) and no monthly injection. </p><p></p><p>These are his choices to make. What bothers me is his prideful insistence that he knows what is right vs. willingness to carefully consider wise advice. I feel that’s what led to his current state. </p><p></p><p>This summer, we kindly told him we would not pay for more college. We advised him to stay home for a semester or 2, work, take a break from school until he was ready to apply himself to it. He thumbed his nose in our faces, said he’d do it on his own, and left. 2 months later we got a call from friends to pick him up. In the 3 months since, he has wrecked havoc in our family and cost us a lot of money. Now, he’s stable and wants to do it HIS way again.</p><p></p><p>I want to love and encourage him, but I don’t know if I have it in me to watch him destroy his own life. I already went thru 20 years of this with my mom. I feel I am reaching a point where if he’s going to go his own way, he needs to go his own way. I don’t know how to lovingly explain to him that I can’t remain in his life if he’s going to continue like this. His dad will remain in contact, but I feel like I need to block him out of my mind for my own well-being. I have 7 other kids (ages 1 to 16) who need my love and attention.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Miracle, post: 759773, member: 26597"] My 20 yo son is in a mental health/treatment center. He’ll be discharged on the 27th to Sober Living. Had a phone chat with him and the therapist today. She said she doesn’t feel he has any trauma or significant issues - his psychosis was likely caused by drugs (mostly weed). She recommended Sober Living near home and monthly injections for medications. Son was argumentative and set on Sober Living where he is (19 hrs from home) and no monthly injection. These are his choices to make. What bothers me is his prideful insistence that he knows what is right vs. willingness to carefully consider wise advice. I feel that’s what led to his current state. This summer, we kindly told him we would not pay for more college. We advised him to stay home for a semester or 2, work, take a break from school until he was ready to apply himself to it. He thumbed his nose in our faces, said he’d do it on his own, and left. 2 months later we got a call from friends to pick him up. In the 3 months since, he has wrecked havoc in our family and cost us a lot of money. Now, he’s stable and wants to do it HIS way again. I want to love and encourage him, but I don’t know if I have it in me to watch him destroy his own life. I already went thru 20 years of this with my mom. I feel I am reaching a point where if he’s going to go his own way, he needs to go his own way. I don’t know how to lovingly explain to him that I can’t remain in his life if he’s going to continue like this. His dad will remain in contact, but I feel like I need to block him out of my mind for my own well-being. I have 7 other kids (ages 1 to 16) who need my love and attention. [/QUOTE]
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