T
TeDo
Guest
How are things going with your program? Last I read, you were excited but nervous to go but were determined to "follow the plan". Can you give us an update please?
ThreeShadows
Quid me anxia?
Ditto, absolutely!
Ok here's the situation. I am going 3 days a week, Mon, Wed and Thursday from 3:30- 8:30, it's and hour and a half away so I leave at 2 and get home at 10. During the time I'm there, there are groups and workshops, we eat dinner, and at some point over the week I have an hour of therapy, another hour of a family sesion (over the phone) and I also meet with the dietician and the doctor. I am annoyed because this past week the dr was on vacation and I need medication for anxiety. This is more difficult than I thought it would be.
I had the family session the first day I was there, which was good because I need to tell husband I was taking off from work. He knew i was taking off that day, but not that I was not going to be off for awhile. I do have insurance to protect my paycheck, but it's a little less than what I make. He actually still thought I was going to work tomorrow and I told him that I was not going this week either.But really, I can't put a time limit on it, because I need to be feeling a little better, I work with kids and need all my energy and all my wits about me. The family session has only been with husband.
The therapy session was interesting, the dietician came into it and they scared me and disturbed me. They said I should be in the hospital at this weight, so I had better fix it.
The worst part was the dinner. There are people there all shapes and sizes and we all eat the same thing, and we have to eat everything. Wednesday I cried. I ate my supplement, which was a Cliff bar, then the had a giagantic plate of lasagna- in an alfredo sauce-and a piece of cheesecake and an apple! I ate the lasagna and I started to cry. The Cliff bar would have been enough and why would I get that upset to cry over cheesecake. Clearly I'm far from where I want to be.
It was a nightmare for me, I don't eat like that. I am really annoyed even now that I ate that. Anyway, I did get the meal plan. I'm doing better than I had been, I am eating peanut butter and more of a variety of proteins, starches and milk exchanges. Ther are things I haven't eaten in awhile and it feels good. But I do know that I am not eating the proper amount. I feel like I'm having bad anxiety and never do this without medication. I need to see the doctor, I'm sure I haven't gained a lot, if anything, but I think I can do it. So, that's my update! I'll update again soon.
I had the family session the first day I was there, which was good because I need to tell husband I was taking off from work. He knew i was taking off that day, but not that I was not going to be off for awhile. I do have insurance to protect my paycheck, but it's a little less than what I make. He actually still thought I was going to work tomorrow and I told him that I was not going this week either.But really, I can't put a time limit on it, because I need to be feeling a little better, I work with kids and need all my energy and all my wits about me. The family session has only been with husband.
The therapy session was interesting, the dietician came into it and they scared me and disturbed me. They said I should be in the hospital at this weight, so I had better fix it.
The worst part was the dinner. There are people there all shapes and sizes and we all eat the same thing, and we have to eat everything. Wednesday I cried. I ate my supplement, which was a Cliff bar, then the had a giagantic plate of lasagna- in an alfredo sauce-and a piece of cheesecake and an apple! I ate the lasagna and I started to cry. The Cliff bar would have been enough and why would I get that upset to cry over cheesecake. Clearly I'm far from where I want to be.
It was a nightmare for me, I don't eat like that. I am really annoyed even now that I ate that. Anyway, I did get the meal plan. I'm doing better than I had been, I am eating peanut butter and more of a variety of proteins, starches and milk exchanges. Ther are things I haven't eaten in awhile and it feels good. But I do know that I am not eating the proper amount. I feel like I'm having bad anxiety and never do this without medication. I need to see the doctor, I'm sure I haven't gained a lot, if anything, but I think I can do it. So, that's my update! I'll update again soon.
T
TeDo
Guest
Thanks for letting us know how you're doing. I know you can do this and I hope you DO stick with it. The anxiety comes from the conflicting messages your brain is giving and receiving. I know you are strong enough to win this battle. Time to re-teach that brain of yours. I hope the doctor is in this week so you can get some help with the anxiety. I will continue to pray for you and send supportive hugs.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
UAN....I love you! You just made me giggle about the cheese cake. Now tell me why anyone would make lasagna with alfredo sauce? That sound yucky. You would like mine if I actually made it for you. And you would be a very special person because I dont cook like that much anymore...lol.
I dont think I would eat afredo lasagna myself. Now alfredo pizza? yeah...yummy with spinnach on it. But lets talk about that cheese cake. Did it have cherries or strawberries on it? If they have it again would you have just a bite for me? LOL I adore NY cheese cake!
I dont think I would eat afredo lasagna myself. Now alfredo pizza? yeah...yummy with spinnach on it. But lets talk about that cheese cake. Did it have cherries or strawberries on it? If they have it again would you have just a bite for me? LOL I adore NY cheese cake!
Janet, I had to eat the whole freaking thing! The cheesecake was a frozen one that had different fruit toppings on it, I had lemon. The lasagna was a frozen Stouffers whole wheat thing. I was looking for the box in the trash to see calorie content, or the exact type so I could google later, but only found the plastic film that said the Stouffers whole wheat. I threw the apple in the trash, but got "in trouble" and had to get anotheer and sit there until it was gone. It's funny now, and they were wondering why I would throw the apple away, of all things. Patients have to eat 100% or go to a "higher level of care".
I would definately eat something you made! LOL... thank you!
I would definately eat something you made! LOL... thank you!
FlowerGarden
Active Member
Glad to read your update. Sending hugs your way.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Next time try the cherry...thats my favorite...lol.
I swear, if they are trying to get people to eat more food, can they not at least make it palatable? They should give those of us obese folks the yucky stuff!
I would think eating more would be easier if things looked good and smelled wonderful. Heated up whole wheat lasagna just doesnt do that for me. Now homemade lasagna would be different. For as many calories as was in that cheesecake you could have had a really nice bowl of decadent ice cream of your favorite flavor with hot fudge sauce and whipped cream.
Dont I make food sound sooooo good? LOL. Now you know why I am fat! Wanna sit with me at night and eat cookies while we chat? LMAO
I swear, if they are trying to get people to eat more food, can they not at least make it palatable? They should give those of us obese folks the yucky stuff!
I would think eating more would be easier if things looked good and smelled wonderful. Heated up whole wheat lasagna just doesnt do that for me. Now homemade lasagna would be different. For as many calories as was in that cheesecake you could have had a really nice bowl of decadent ice cream of your favorite flavor with hot fudge sauce and whipped cream.
Dont I make food sound sooooo good? LOL. Now you know why I am fat! Wanna sit with me at night and eat cookies while we chat? LMAO
gcvmom
Here we go again!
I'm glad you are making a commitment to yourself to do this. It's okay to get frustrated. It's okay to get angry. It's okay to cry. I hope you are able to take advantage of the therapy being offered you to work through all these feelings. I remember being told by a therapist to remember that these are just feelings -- they won't consume us if we allow ourselves to feel them. It's healthy to feel them, own them, and then let them go. In time, we learn that we can handle ALL the feelings, the good and the bad, and so situations that cause them begin to lose their power over us. Whether it's situations with people or things that have strong emotions attached to them, we learn that we have more power than we realize over these people/things, and we don't have to fear them. And that's when the real growth and healing can begin.
One day at a time, lady! You can do this. You deserve to succeed at this!
One day at a time, lady! You can do this. You deserve to succeed at this!
