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Parent Emeritus
update on 22 year old bipolar who is difficult to live with
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 605817" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>At his age, he understands his poor choices, but is ignoring that knowledge on purpose. There is nothing YOU can do to either help him or change him. He has to decide to do that, if indeed he ever wants to. It's late now and I forgot the whole story, but if he is using drugs that is a bad choice he has made, but he could be addicted to them by now and then logic goes out the window. </p><p></p><p>A very hard parental lesson we often have to learn is that no matter how many dinners we take them out to in order to talk to them, either harshly or kindly or with desperation, we can not make another person, even a grown adult child, suddenly say, "Hey, you're right. Think I'll do what you say." In fact, harping on them often causes spats and the kid walks off even more sure he has reasons to do poorly...because his "nasty" parent expects too much of him. </p><p></p><p>I strongly suggest practicing detachment. At your son's age, you are powerless to change him, as we all are regarding our adult children. I'm really sorry you are going through this. You seem like such a nice dad. You don't deserve this heartbreak...and I hope you take steps to make your own life better. THAT you have control over <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 605817, member: 1550"] At his age, he understands his poor choices, but is ignoring that knowledge on purpose. There is nothing YOU can do to either help him or change him. He has to decide to do that, if indeed he ever wants to. It's late now and I forgot the whole story, but if he is using drugs that is a bad choice he has made, but he could be addicted to them by now and then logic goes out the window. A very hard parental lesson we often have to learn is that no matter how many dinners we take them out to in order to talk to them, either harshly or kindly or with desperation, we can not make another person, even a grown adult child, suddenly say, "Hey, you're right. Think I'll do what you say." In fact, harping on them often causes spats and the kid walks off even more sure he has reasons to do poorly...because his "nasty" parent expects too much of him. I strongly suggest practicing detachment. At your son's age, you are powerless to change him, as we all are regarding our adult children. I'm really sorry you are going through this. You seem like such a nice dad. You don't deserve this heartbreak...and I hope you take steps to make your own life better. THAT you have control over :) [/QUOTE]
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update on 22 year old bipolar who is difficult to live with
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