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update on 22 year old bipolar who is difficult to live with
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<blockquote data-quote="MrMike" data-source="post: 606755" data-attributes="member: 16687"><p>Stomach is in knots today. difficult child called last nite and wanted to come home and get some food, which means he wants to come home. We last kicked him out about a week ago for breaking more stuff, and not convincing us that he really and truly agreed with the house rules, which require everyone in our house to treat each other with respect and kindness. difficult child has never had the ability to show empathy toward anyone. I think its part of his condition. He currently says he's "down with" the house rules, but dont know if he'll ever be able to convince us he really "gets it", as far as how to live peacefully with the rest of the family. </p><p></p><p>And this is my delimma today ... I'm not convinced he "gets it" yet, as far as our house rules, and his understanding of their importance. He only looks at what he needs and wants, and not what is required by others around him. He says he is down with the house rules, but he is only doing this to get back into the house. Like I said, this may be part of his condition, as he has never had empathy for anyone. So, how do I know when it is really safe to let him back in ? And by safe, I mean how do I know that the same behavior that got him kicked out multiple times (verbally abusing us, breaking things, acting like he owns the place) will not recur? How do I know he really "gets it"? Can he be broken? Can he learn that that kind of behavior and attitude is not acceptable and wrong? He seems to not have the ability to looks at things as right and wrong, only what is expedient for him at the time. </p><p></p><p>I guess we're gonna find out, because even though I've been a pushover most of the time, I think I've reached the point where I know that him living with us if he hasn't changed his attitude is not going to work. Frankly, I don't want him in my house at all. He makes me (and everyone else) uptight and uncomfortable, as once he gets comfortable, he rules the house. He has such a strong personality and will, that he does whatever he wants without regard to house rules and respect for others. The only reason I'm wrestling with what to do is that he is running out of places to stay, and even though I shouldn't care, I still am concerned about that. I hope that very soon, I develop the attitude that our welfare (i.e. the rest of our family) is more important than his demands and unreasonable attitude.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MrMike, post: 606755, member: 16687"] Stomach is in knots today. difficult child called last nite and wanted to come home and get some food, which means he wants to come home. We last kicked him out about a week ago for breaking more stuff, and not convincing us that he really and truly agreed with the house rules, which require everyone in our house to treat each other with respect and kindness. difficult child has never had the ability to show empathy toward anyone. I think its part of his condition. He currently says he's "down with" the house rules, but dont know if he'll ever be able to convince us he really "gets it", as far as how to live peacefully with the rest of the family. And this is my delimma today ... I'm not convinced he "gets it" yet, as far as our house rules, and his understanding of their importance. He only looks at what he needs and wants, and not what is required by others around him. He says he is down with the house rules, but he is only doing this to get back into the house. Like I said, this may be part of his condition, as he has never had empathy for anyone. So, how do I know when it is really safe to let him back in ? And by safe, I mean how do I know that the same behavior that got him kicked out multiple times (verbally abusing us, breaking things, acting like he owns the place) will not recur? How do I know he really "gets it"? Can he be broken? Can he learn that that kind of behavior and attitude is not acceptable and wrong? He seems to not have the ability to looks at things as right and wrong, only what is expedient for him at the time. I guess we're gonna find out, because even though I've been a pushover most of the time, I think I've reached the point where I know that him living with us if he hasn't changed his attitude is not going to work. Frankly, I don't want him in my house at all. He makes me (and everyone else) uptight and uncomfortable, as once he gets comfortable, he rules the house. He has such a strong personality and will, that he does whatever he wants without regard to house rules and respect for others. The only reason I'm wrestling with what to do is that he is running out of places to stay, and even though I shouldn't care, I still am concerned about that. I hope that very soon, I develop the attitude that our welfare (i.e. the rest of our family) is more important than his demands and unreasonable attitude. [/QUOTE]
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