Stress Bunny
Active Member
So this is the latest one-line text message from JT.
Every single week there is some new drama with him, and it seems the ante keeps increasing. He has only been in his own apartment (after his grandparents allowed him to stay with them for a couple of months) since February. And, already, he has been arrested, charged, and jailed with underage drinking and distribution of alcohol to minors. He has ended up in the ER numerous times for work injuries, receiving pain medications every time, of course. Then, he collected on workers comp. He has been in a car accident, and he has failed to pay bills, including his student loan from when he flunked out of college, so creditors are after him. He invited his girlfriend to live with him so he could charge her for some of his rent and living expenses. Then, he had a fight with this girlfriend, who threatened to shoot him, apparently, so he called the police, and she was removed from his apartment. He immediately got himself a new girlfriend, who has a young daughter, stating that he is madly in love with her because she is "the female version of himself", he said. No surprise there, since he is truly in love with himself. She broke up with him two weeks later.
This week, he texts me that I am going to be a grandma - ughh! And, he leaves it like that, like he always does. One line. One statement that will provoke strong emotions in me.
Sometimes he texts things like he's won $10,000. Now, I knew that he had fallen for a ploy on that, but I didn't say anything. I didn't respond. I wanted him to find out himself. He argues with everything I say.
Another time, he sent me a text that he had a really bad night. And that's it. He doesn't say what happened, but he wants me to get all concerned and wrapped up in his drama. "What happened, JT? Are you okay? Oh my gosh, I am SO worried about you!" He wants attention. He wants to cause me emotional turmoil. He gets his kicks out of it. As my husband said, JT is probably smirking from ear to ear after he sent me the grandma text message. He enjoys this. If I don't respond, he sometimes can't resist texting me more about the drama anyway.
I haven't responded to this latest text. The fact that he would text me something like that instead of talking to me in person or giving me more information speaks volumes about his selfishness. I don't even know who the mother of this baby might be.
How can I have a decent relationship with someone who cares nothing about my well being? Someone who lives his life in opposition to every blessing he's been given? Someone who enjoys hurting me financially, spiritually, and emotionally? There is not one thing about JT that honors husband or me. He dishonors us and enjoys it.
I guess I don't know how to take things from here. Ideally, I would like to have a good relationship with JT, but he is so emotionally exploitative and sociopathic, even, in his delight in hurting us, that I wonder how it's even possible. I am tired of the constant drama. How can I have that good relationship with someone who has a foul mouth, inflated sense of self, trouble with the law, drinking, drugging, smoking, gun-toting, knife-wielding, porn-watching, a personally exploitative, manipulative approach, an argumentative attitude, and generally unlikeable personality? I don't even want to talk to him. Conversations with JT are always about JT. He lives in a fantasy world where he views himself as superior to everyone else. He already knows everything about everything. He is all-knowing and omnipotent. I am not exaggerating. He brags about his superior abilities non-stop and believes everything he says, despite objective evidence to the contrary. He lies constantly and about everything. I don't trust him. Because of his big ego and big mouth to match, not to mention narcissism and selfishness, he can't maintain relationships over any length of time. Most of his "girlfriends" last only a matter of weeks.
I know all of this mess is JT's problem, but yet, it affects me. It's hard to accept it or distract from it. I grieve regularly for the hopes and dreams I had for JT, for the peaceful, happy life I always wanted.
Next weekend is Mothers Day, and I can only imagine the drama that awaits me then.
Every single week there is some new drama with him, and it seems the ante keeps increasing. He has only been in his own apartment (after his grandparents allowed him to stay with them for a couple of months) since February. And, already, he has been arrested, charged, and jailed with underage drinking and distribution of alcohol to minors. He has ended up in the ER numerous times for work injuries, receiving pain medications every time, of course. Then, he collected on workers comp. He has been in a car accident, and he has failed to pay bills, including his student loan from when he flunked out of college, so creditors are after him. He invited his girlfriend to live with him so he could charge her for some of his rent and living expenses. Then, he had a fight with this girlfriend, who threatened to shoot him, apparently, so he called the police, and she was removed from his apartment. He immediately got himself a new girlfriend, who has a young daughter, stating that he is madly in love with her because she is "the female version of himself", he said. No surprise there, since he is truly in love with himself. She broke up with him two weeks later.
This week, he texts me that I am going to be a grandma - ughh! And, he leaves it like that, like he always does. One line. One statement that will provoke strong emotions in me.
Sometimes he texts things like he's won $10,000. Now, I knew that he had fallen for a ploy on that, but I didn't say anything. I didn't respond. I wanted him to find out himself. He argues with everything I say.
Another time, he sent me a text that he had a really bad night. And that's it. He doesn't say what happened, but he wants me to get all concerned and wrapped up in his drama. "What happened, JT? Are you okay? Oh my gosh, I am SO worried about you!" He wants attention. He wants to cause me emotional turmoil. He gets his kicks out of it. As my husband said, JT is probably smirking from ear to ear after he sent me the grandma text message. He enjoys this. If I don't respond, he sometimes can't resist texting me more about the drama anyway.
I haven't responded to this latest text. The fact that he would text me something like that instead of talking to me in person or giving me more information speaks volumes about his selfishness. I don't even know who the mother of this baby might be.
How can I have a decent relationship with someone who cares nothing about my well being? Someone who lives his life in opposition to every blessing he's been given? Someone who enjoys hurting me financially, spiritually, and emotionally? There is not one thing about JT that honors husband or me. He dishonors us and enjoys it.
I guess I don't know how to take things from here. Ideally, I would like to have a good relationship with JT, but he is so emotionally exploitative and sociopathic, even, in his delight in hurting us, that I wonder how it's even possible. I am tired of the constant drama. How can I have that good relationship with someone who has a foul mouth, inflated sense of self, trouble with the law, drinking, drugging, smoking, gun-toting, knife-wielding, porn-watching, a personally exploitative, manipulative approach, an argumentative attitude, and generally unlikeable personality? I don't even want to talk to him. Conversations with JT are always about JT. He lives in a fantasy world where he views himself as superior to everyone else. He already knows everything about everything. He is all-knowing and omnipotent. I am not exaggerating. He brags about his superior abilities non-stop and believes everything he says, despite objective evidence to the contrary. He lies constantly and about everything. I don't trust him. Because of his big ego and big mouth to match, not to mention narcissism and selfishness, he can't maintain relationships over any length of time. Most of his "girlfriends" last only a matter of weeks.
I know all of this mess is JT's problem, but yet, it affects me. It's hard to accept it or distract from it. I grieve regularly for the hopes and dreams I had for JT, for the peaceful, happy life I always wanted.
Next weekend is Mothers Day, and I can only imagine the drama that awaits me then.