Very cautiously optimistic update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Lil, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I may be seeing my son for the first time in nearly a year. He went to Colorado September 29, 2016 and while we've been in touch, I haven't seen him in person since. He sent a selfie once or twice. But, since June he's gone from sleeping in his girlfriend's car (because her parent's wouldn't let him in), to getting a job and apparently being allowed to live indoors and paying rent. He texted this weekend that he's gotten a $1/hr raise and that he's been told that he'll get a promotion and a $5 raise after he's been there 90 days.

    I have a lot of vacation I HAVE to take by October 31...he hasn't been able to take vacation and come here for a visit, which he and his girlfriend had said they wanted to do, so I suggested maybe Jabber and I could go out there.

    My kid actually offered to help pay for the trip.

    That sentence deserves it's own paragraph. :p Of course, he knew I'd say no! LOL But it's the offer that blows me away. I don't think he's ever offered to help pay for anything ever.

    There is a caveat to our being able to go and that is that our little girl dog has developed a terminal form of cancer. She is fine'd never know anything was wrong...but they say that 3 to 6 months is about all you get after this is diagnosed. It's only a month from now, but if she declines earlier than expected we might have to cancel. I haven't even told son that we're planning to come yet.

    I'm excited just because I love the mountains and I haven't been in like 35 years! I was 17 last time I was in Colorado and it's only a two day drive! But the few real vacations I've taken, I've gone south or east or flown elsewhere. One of my favorite cousins lives just over 1/2 hour drive from son, so we plan to spend a day with her too. Fingers crossed it works out. Really, Jabber and I have kicked around a trip there before, but didn't want to go while son was homeless and drifting because...well...he might have asked to ride back home with us and we wanted him to get settled on his own.

    So, I guess the best part of this update is: He's working and living indoors and paying rent. Those are really about all I have wanted for a really long time. KNOCK ON WOOD!!! I'm kind of terrified of jinxing things. Seems like every time I say something optimistic, it falls apart. Part of the reason I've done so very little updating. But I'm just kind of bursting to say something...I'm just so excited that I may get to see him - and for my birthday too!
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  2. Snow White

    Snow White Temporarily in the Magic Kingdom

    That's AMAZING news, Lil - and definitely something to celebrate! You've waited a very long time for this. I'm so happy for you, Jabber....and your son.
    It sounds like your son is doing his own form of "reaching out" and that he does want to see you. I actually like the idea of you going to see him vs him coming to you. You have the vacation time to do a short trip. If things aren't as they seem when you get there, you have a safety net in being able to leave at any time. On the other hand, if things go well, then you can stay a little longer. I think this could be a win-win for everyone. You'll get a real feel once you get there.

    What a wonderful birthday present! Happy birthday to you! :)
  3. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Lil...everything you write about your son is awesome. So sorry about your doggy though.

    Crossing fingers, eyes and toes for all of you!
  4. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    So happy to hear he is making progress. Enjoy this time!
  5. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    Really and truly SO HAPPY for you all. I hope that your son continues on this path and the trip sounds awesome!! I've always wanted to go to Colorado!!
  6. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I've been through twice when I was a kid, at like 13 and 17, with my family. We took these month-long travel trailer vacations from Missouri through Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, extreme northern California, up the coast to Washington, then back through the Tetons and Yellowstone and then home. I remember them so well and would LOVE to do it again, but I mostly remember the big things, the ocean, the redwoods and the mountains. I've always loved mountains. When I was a little girl I would pretend that, when you look out over the horizon and you see mounds of clouds that form a line between the earth and the sky...that those were mountains. :) I'm really looking forward to seeing the real deal again.

    And my kid too. lol
  7. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Take the good times and embrace them. I hope you have an amazing reunion.
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  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

  9. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    That shows a great deal of maturity.

    I am so excited for you! Will you be taking your poor little doggie with you?
  10. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    We've been debating that Pigless. Probably not.
  11. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    That has been the question. I asked my cousin out there if she was familiar with any kennels or doggy daycares, because she has a dog. Really, I was hoping she'd say, "Oh just leave them at my house!" But, no such luck. We have two...the girl and a boy, her littermate, who is blind and has to have eye drops 4x a day. They're 12 and no trouble really, in that they are so used to being crated after 12 years of working dog parents that they insist on it even when we're home on the weekends. We try to keep them up and they just want to go to bed! Anyway, after considering having to find dog-friendly accommodations, taking them everywhere or leaving them in a strange place, and just the needing to look after them instead of being able to go where we want, it may be best all around to kennel them at our vet. In fact, I just tentatively booked them there. They are super good with them, because it's attached to the vet's office so we have peace of mind leaving them there when they have to have medications and eye drops.

    We'll see.
  12. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Aww I would look after them if I lived close you you. I am glad your vet is an option.
  13. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    They have a full-service grooming and boarding kennel attached to the vet office. One reason we like this vet so much is they also have medical appointments until 9:00 p.m. and we can pick the dogs up until 10 p.m. at no extra charge through the vet's office, though the kennel closes at 5. It's about 2 miles from our house, AND the vet's are very, very good. It's a great set-up for us.
  14. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Lil, The vet/kennel sounds like your best option. I took my little doggie on a weekend getaway and o it again. I could not enjoy the beach, go out to eat where I wanted, and he did not want to sleep in a strange place. It was very much like traveling with a toddler.
  15. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a great option for your two little furbabies.

    Now you can relax on your trip!
  16. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    What a fantastic update, Lil! So glad to hear about your son's progress. He sounds very eager to show you and Jabber how well he's doing for himself. That's very cool :happy-very:
  17. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Thanks all. I'm crossing fingers and knocking on wood every time I say anything. I do feel like just saying anything on here might jinx things - wouldn't be the first time. But I couldn't help tell Jabber's mom and dad yesterday, and whatever family was nearby to hear, that he was doing well and working and paying rent to someone like a "normal" person. I love my in-laws...especially my mother in law and father in law, but I can't help but feel like my sibling-in-laws kind of think badly of him and by extension, me. It's likely not a true or even completely rational feeling, but there you are. At this point, I'm going to just try not to say much more and plan our trip. :rolleyes:
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  18. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Sounds like he is growing up nicely :) So happy for a great, loving mother and father!
  19. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Take the joy and embrace it moment by moment. Guard your heart and webknkw it is only wise, but embrace the good times for what they are.
  20. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    You know this isn't true. Yes, they were aggravated by him over the incident with mom and dad but he's being no more of an idiot that William ever was or than Nathan STILL is from time to time.