We're pretty good with food, not so good with Conduct Disorder/Asperger's treatment..

[prome]

Hi, there...

Does anyone know if there are alternatives to medications (that never are a home-run anyway) for kiddos (age 12) with Asperger's and suspected Conduct Disorder? Our son has serious issues with control, manipulation, deceit and has recently run away from home (he's back now).

Background:
We have a quite healthy home. We don't use plug-ins, often air out the home, eat raw foods and smoothies, restrict High Fructose Corn Syrup/Caffeine/Sugar/Gluten, drink Almond and sometimes soy milk and Lactaid and lastly regular 1%.

We have tried lots of medications: Abilify, Seroquel, Risperdal, Focalin and some others I can't remember the names of -- Our son usually does "ok" with Focalin, but it's nothing to write home about, nor does it offer much relief for him.

We don't know if he is ever conflicted, remorseful (doubtful), but we do know that he refuses to accept accountability/responsibility or face consequences. The "system" has mostly just written him off .. he's been in about 6 different schools and is now entering into 7th. I don't want to blame the teachers, or have them blame me. We KNOW it's our son. Period.

I am just exhausted, heart broken, and at my wits-end. We can't get baby sitters as our community doesn't look lightly on his infractions, nor want the responsibility/liability if he were to disappear on them. He is not aggressive/violent, just manipulative and untrustworthy and with disdain. He looks at everything with a paranoia and obsesses over the values of things. He can't hold a conversation without you feeling worthless somehow by the end of it. His red-light/green-light does not bother him a bit. If you say "red" he goes "green" and vice versa.

....and puberty is underway.

Thank you and hugs to anyone out there who thinks they are alone. I do, too.

--prome

 

[Liahona]

Sorry, I don't have any advice about foods. I just wanted to say hi and this is a great place to get to know people who actually understand about really really hard kids. Maybe if you posted about yourself in the general parenting you'd get more responses.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I'll second the motion that you re-post... under General Parenting.
When you do that, please include more details...
- what diagnosis's, when, by what kind of resource
- what testing has been done
- what medications currently
- when the problems started
- what resources you currently have access to (pediatrician., psychiatrist, therapist, PT, etc.)
- is this child adopted? other details about the family situation?
- etc.

This helps other readers tailor their advice...

But... I'm here now, so I'll add a couple of points...

Obviously, school is a major issue - any learning disabilities (LDs)? Sounds like school has been a problem from the beginning... difficulties with reading? writing? "paying attention" (likely, given a diagnosis of ADHD)

How are his motor skills - both gross (sports, riding a bike), and fine (tieing shoes, dressing, writing)? unsupported difficulties in either or both of these areas makes school a major problem

How is he with peer relationships... does he have friends?
Have you ever researched the symptoms of depression in men and boys? its very different from women and girls - and some of what you describe, might be related to depression.
A kid, depressed? Yes, it happens. Sometimes, its "primary" as in, they seem to be wired for it - but there is help. Sometimes it is "secondary" - if they don't get the help they need for other problems, they lose their ability to cope - to solve these, you have to work on both the depression, and the cause, but there is help.

Sometimes, you have to pull back from seeing the kid as the problem (really hard, sometimes), and DIG to find the source(s). Everyone else in this kids life (especially school, neighbors, family, etc.) is going to see the kid as the problem... or, "you" as the parent being the problem. But the medical community doesn't necessarily see the obvious... so as the parent, you find a way to become the "expert" on this particular case.

Hang in there. Re-post on the main thread, where all sorts of other, well-experienced parents will chime in.