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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 749545" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>For me, as an introvert & highly sensitive person, I tend towards being private. If I am to share something intimate and important to me I have developed criteria over the years to protect myself. The most important is that I only engage in connections with others who I feel can be 'present' and 'see and hear' me with compassion and kindness. That cuts down the playing field considerably for me, in fact, I walked away from quite a number of relationships as I recognized that the folks surrounding me could not be present, empathize nor relate to me......which ended up being a very positive thing. </p><p></p><p>I like the way Brene' Brown addresses this issue, she says, </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><em>“Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?" If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.”</em></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">If I am asked how my daughter is by someone who does not meet the above criteria for me, I say, "she's still struggling." I have never once had anyone push beyond that, it seems to be a show stopper (which works for me). If it's a new person, I say, "my daughter struggles with mental issues." No one presses that one either.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">In my experience, except for this site or therapy or others who've gone thru what we go thru here, others just don't understand....can't put themselves in our shoes and empathize because they have no way of knowing what this is like. I just don't put myself thru any of that anymore, I want compassion & kindness and love.....which certainly reduced my circle of friends and family.....but I feel so much better now. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 749545, member: 13542"] For me, as an introvert & highly sensitive person, I tend towards being private. If I am to share something intimate and important to me I have developed criteria over the years to protect myself. The most important is that I only engage in connections with others who I feel can be 'present' and 'see and hear' me with compassion and kindness. That cuts down the playing field considerably for me, in fact, I walked away from quite a number of relationships as I recognized that the folks surrounding me could not be present, empathize nor relate to me......which ended up being a very positive thing. I like the way Brene' Brown addresses this issue, she says, [SIZE=4][I]“Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?" If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.”[/I] [I][/I] If I am asked how my daughter is by someone who does not meet the above criteria for me, I say, "she's still struggling." I have never once had anyone push beyond that, it seems to be a show stopper (which works for me). If it's a new person, I say, "my daughter struggles with mental issues." No one presses that one either. In my experience, except for this site or therapy or others who've gone thru what we go thru here, others just don't understand....can't put themselves in our shoes and empathize because they have no way of knowing what this is like. I just don't put myself thru any of that anymore, I want compassion & kindness and love.....which certainly reduced my circle of friends and family.....but I feel so much better now. [/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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