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Family of Origin
What is your relationship like with your 1st cousins?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 737482" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Not all families were close, not in the 1700s, not in the 1900s and not in 1965. I grew up in the 60s and 70s and knew many, like mine, that couldnt wait to leave. Birds of a feather stick together maybe. As an older adult I am hardly the only one without close DNA of any kind. Many just drifted apart. Diistance causes less closeness. Hurt does. Death often causes fights and chaos. Some things cant be fixed. Many people have their own families(hub and kids) and they come way first.</p><p> Sometimes we dont like our DNA or how they treated us and still do.</p><p></p><p>People can move around and chose their family now. There is no shame in this. I am so much more content since I figured this out.</p><p></p><p>If you love and miss your family, it is easy to find people now on the internet. I could have done this, could still find cousins I never met. But I not only never liked my DNA, save for my grandma and Dad (not sure why I loved him so but I knew he always loved ME), but I never even felt like a part of the DNA. I dont miss anyone but the two I mentioned. Had anyone treated my kids bad, and some did, that would have been a reason for me to be content without them.</p><p></p><p>Only you can decide how to do this. Are you wondering about them now because you truly love and miss them or do you just think you SHOULD be closer or is someone pressuring you?</p><p></p><p>In the end what we do is our decision, based on many things. There isnt and never was a rule that because your sister's mother got married and had a kid you all must be close.</p><p></p><p>Like wife beating and child abuse, there were always families that didnt get along or love each other. It just was never talked about then but it existed. Always have, always will.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find peace with this. I am always glad to chat here.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 737482, member: 1550"] Not all families were close, not in the 1700s, not in the 1900s and not in 1965. I grew up in the 60s and 70s and knew many, like mine, that couldnt wait to leave. Birds of a feather stick together maybe. As an older adult I am hardly the only one without close DNA of any kind. Many just drifted apart. Diistance causes less closeness. Hurt does. Death often causes fights and chaos. Some things cant be fixed. Many people have their own families(hub and kids) and they come way first. Sometimes we dont like our DNA or how they treated us and still do. People can move around and chose their family now. There is no shame in this. I am so much more content since I figured this out. If you love and miss your family, it is easy to find people now on the internet. I could have done this, could still find cousins I never met. But I not only never liked my DNA, save for my grandma and Dad (not sure why I loved him so but I knew he always loved ME), but I never even felt like a part of the DNA. I dont miss anyone but the two I mentioned. Had anyone treated my kids bad, and some did, that would have been a reason for me to be content without them. Only you can decide how to do this. Are you wondering about them now because you truly love and miss them or do you just think you SHOULD be closer or is someone pressuring you? In the end what we do is our decision, based on many things. There isnt and never was a rule that because your sister's mother got married and had a kid you all must be close. Like wife beating and child abuse, there were always families that didnt get along or love each other. It just was never talked about then but it existed. Always have, always will. I hope you can find peace with this. I am always glad to chat here. . [/QUOTE]
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What is your relationship like with your 1st cousins?
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