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WHAT THE #%^&
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 760641" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Confused</p><p></p><p>I am confused. I thought you had legal custody. If you have legal custody I do not understand why you would need a lawyer.</p><p></p><p>I believe your son, that this stuff is going on. Maybe your son idealized his father--in other words--had a picture of him of someone other than the real person your ex is--who in reality, is a bad man, it seems. Maybe your son is going back and forth between what his lying eyes are telling him, and what he wants to believe, which is a fantasy.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like son is trying so hard to hang on to his dream, his ideal picture of his Dad. I did this as a child too. </p><p></p><p>I have told you from the start that this arrangement would not last. It will not last. </p><p></p><p>I read Nandinas comment about getting in communication with your ex. I am not sure about that. If you did call him-I would stay very, very calm and neutral, just listen and let him vent. No accusations. No telling anything son has said. If you cannot do that--I mean, stay neutral and calm, I would not consider calling. And as I said, I am not sure calling is the right thing. (Except I re-thought this below.)</p><p></p><p>I do not know about Child Protective Services either--if son is retracting what he said. It could be that he was being manipulative. </p><p></p><p>I think what I would do is decide from a position of power what you want. If you want your son home absolutely and you want him home now--and you have legal custody. Then, I would call your ex- and say just that. I want him home by tomorrow. And then, if your ex does not comply, and does not give you a reasonable time, that he would bring back your son, I would call the police. </p><p></p><p>Let me summarize what I think.</p><p>Decide what you want.</p><p>If you want your son home, call your ex and tell him that directly and calmly. Do not get drawn into a discussion or argument.</p><p>Tell your ex a precise date and time.</p><p>If your ex does not agree (and you have legal custody) either call the cops or an attorney. Are there not papers that the court gave you about legal custody.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 760641, member: 18958"] Dear Confused I am confused. I thought you had legal custody. If you have legal custody I do not understand why you would need a lawyer. I believe your son, that this stuff is going on. Maybe your son idealized his father--in other words--had a picture of him of someone other than the real person your ex is--who in reality, is a bad man, it seems. Maybe your son is going back and forth between what his lying eyes are telling him, and what he wants to believe, which is a fantasy. It sounds like son is trying so hard to hang on to his dream, his ideal picture of his Dad. I did this as a child too. I have told you from the start that this arrangement would not last. It will not last. I read Nandinas comment about getting in communication with your ex. I am not sure about that. If you did call him-I would stay very, very calm and neutral, just listen and let him vent. No accusations. No telling anything son has said. If you cannot do that--I mean, stay neutral and calm, I would not consider calling. And as I said, I am not sure calling is the right thing. (Except I re-thought this below.) I do not know about Child Protective Services either--if son is retracting what he said. It could be that he was being manipulative. I think what I would do is decide from a position of power what you want. If you want your son home absolutely and you want him home now--and you have legal custody. Then, I would call your ex- and say just that. I want him home by tomorrow. And then, if your ex does not comply, and does not give you a reasonable time, that he would bring back your son, I would call the police. Let me summarize what I think. Decide what you want. If you want your son home, call your ex and tell him that directly and calmly. Do not get drawn into a discussion or argument. Tell your ex a precise date and time. If your ex does not agree (and you have legal custody) either call the cops or an attorney. Are there not papers that the court gave you about legal custody. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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