When do you call the cops?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Pixie Dusted, Apr 1, 2019.

  1. Pixie Dusted

    Pixie Dusted New Member

    I hope this doesn't seem like a stupid question. I know many of you have had to call the police on your child(ren). I am curious if you have certain criteria in mind that must happen before you do this, and if so what is it?

    I called on my 12yo son yesterday. I don't know if it met the threshold of needing law enforcement assistance, but I was at a loss of what else to do. My son just doesn't care or listen to anything when he's in his moods. I can tell when he is going into one of his moods and we try to distract him, or use humor etc. When that doesn't work we try time-"ins", chores, etc.

    Yesterday was the first time he has ran away from us. He won't do anything he's told, he just runs away from us like it's a joke. Won't comply, won't listen, completely disrespecful, and insultive. "Mom, you're too stupid to catch me". Then he goes outside as we're trying to get dinner ready to eat. I told him to come in several times, but he wouldn't. He kept hitting and banging on the windows, hanging on loose railing, etc. He was putting on quite the show.
    It is SO INFURIATING to be disrespected and mocked like that. I want it to stop because I find myself wanting to pull away from him more and more.
    I don't want to include him in game night or movie night or to be around us when he's pulled this crap on us!
    Anyway they did send a sheriff out who had a great firm talk with our son. I don't know if it will work long -term, but son needed to hear that disobeying your parents is wrong and you can get in trouble.

    I felt bad because I know they don't like domestic calls because you can't "parent" your kid right. This call went well, but I'm curious how other parents decide when to call law enforcement in.....
  2. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    What was your son's reaction? Did he show any fear or emotion? Did the cop have any advice?
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    If he runs away, and it's not late at night, I'd wait an hour or so, then notify police. He is 12... He should not be out by himself. I don't know where you live, whether it's a small safe community or if it's not a safe community. But no matter where he is, he could find people who might take advantage of him.

    If he is violent in the home, I would call it in, if he was threatening others, or damaging property, or physically abusive I would call the police.

    If he is 12 now... Things might escalate at 15 on up. Having a paper trail might help in the future... Ksm
  4. baddog8it

    baddog8it New Member

    Something I just learned during our last visit by the police...

    If the police are called to the same residence twice for a domestic dispute within a 12 hour period, someone is going to be taken away. Not sure if that is a community thing, state thing or how common it is.
    • Informative Informative x 1
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  5. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    When violence escalates to the point of my grandson (12 years old) or me or another family member being unsafe. The school did it once, and I have a card in my wallet and by the phones at home about how to make a mental health call to the police. We've all heard the stories about cops showing up and using deadly force. I've actually spoken with our local sheriff's office so they know us and why we might be likely to call. Thankfully, we haven't had to yet.
  6. Pixie Dusted

    Pixie Dusted New Member

    Son's reaction was he thought it was fun at first. But when the cop explained things like:
    "If you ever go to Juvy, it automatically disqualifies you from serving in any branch of military"
    "You choose your path in life, and if you keep being disrespectful to your parents, etc then I'm going to be dealing with you when you get arrested multiple times as an adult".
    "You can joke and say you think its fun to be bad, but I promise you if you ask all the bad guys in jail they will tell you being bad is NO fun at all"

    The officer was great. He just backed us up, and also told my son he really cared about him. Told son he could call or email him if he has any questions or needs help.
  7. Pixie Dusted

    Pixie Dusted New Member

    Yes, my fear is totally trying to get a handle on this before he's too much for me.
    He is not violent, or damaging property. He is just mouthy, insulting, and cruel with his words.

    We literally live in BFE. We're on 20 acres and he's too afraid to leave the property. Plus he knows he is not officially a runaway if he stays on the property. So he just runs from us, mocks us, and won't do any consequence we try to give him. frustrating!
  8. Pixie Dusted

    Pixie Dusted New Member

    Not the case here. They only take someone away if they hurt or abused someone else.
  9. Pixie Dusted

    Pixie Dusted New Member

    That's simply an ingenious idea! I wish they would advocate people to do that because I know they handle mental health cases very different when possible. First thing I did was meet the sheriff outside and told him about my son's mental health concerns.

    They should ask when you call in the first place if anyone has mental health concerns!

    Thanks so much for all the advice!