Well, my friends, I’ve had to take a few days off here to deal with new developments and some resulting depression. I’m catching up on everyone now. It appears that after five years sober, N is drinking again. And apparently having an affair. I am heartbroken. And furious. He has been doing SO WELL. In the second year of a trade apprenticeship and eligible to join the union this month. He has a beautiful family. My daughter in law is, in my opinion, the best thing that has ever happened to him. They have a precious baby together and my daughter in law has a son from a previous marriage overseas that I have become very close to. They are my family. I love them. I can’t believe he’s hurting them this way, and hurting himself. After five years of working so hard! We went through so much when he was younger - partying, the accident and its aftermath, an 18 months recovery for a severe Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), the time in prison. But since then he’s been on a path to redemption, I thought. Committing to sobriety. Taking his recovery seriously. Trying to make amends for the pain he caused in the past. Speaking to youth groups and mentoring others in recovery. Taking care of his family. Learning a trade. I needed to believe in his redemption. Seeing him fall again has hit me hard. In the meantime, S has decided she’s not ready for recovery after all and is back with the coke dealer. And C hasn’t returned my calls since thanksgiving. I hope he’s still sober but have to assume his silence may mean he’s not and doesn’t want to tell me. I just...feel like a total failure as a parent. All three of them following this same destructive path is too much to bear. I have lived through so many years of pain and chaos and I just want it all to STOP already. Thank God E at least is doing well and is reliable and steady as a rock. She’s starting a new job and taking a couple pre reqs for grad school with plans to start a 2019 program. Right now I’m just heartbroken for my beautiful, kind daughter in law and the kids. She didn’t call me directly, because she didn’t want to bother me with her trouble with everything going on with S and C these days. She called my partner, R, because she needed to talk and cry and she doesn’t have many people in the U.S. she knows and can talk to. She actually didn’t want R to tell me, but of course R did. We don’t keep secrets like that from each other. But my daughter in law doesn’t want me to say anything to N right now. I’m not supposed to know. And of course I don’t want to make things worse between them. So I don’t know what to do. Call and confront him anyway? Stay out of it and hope for the best? Im furious with him! I told her if he will agree to go to counseling with her I will pay. And I told her she and BOTH kids are loved and part of my family no matter what happens and what she feels she has to do. It just all feels like more than I can bear right now. And I don’t understand how he can do this.