My husband has very recently taken the viewpoint that, despite no reasonable effort to change, we should be giving our CD child more privileges/responsibility. I totally and completely disagree with him. We've ridden these waves before with negative consequences. Every single time it was a fail. Every time. I'm not happy about that, it's just factual. I feel like a broken record, but he believes that if we give our daughter more responsibilities she will stop drinking, hold down and job, and turn a miraculous corner. She won't kill herself, prostitute, use copious amounts of cocaine, and will show up to work like a regular old worker bee. I'd love for him to be right. Lord, would I. But my continuing attempt at detachment and common sense feels like it should be the other way around - prove you're in a better place to gain the privileges and responsibilities that you should inherently have, but have lost. Current disagreement: he wants Difficult Child to "babysit" her child (that we have been 100% raising) more often. Why? Because he feels like we should be doing more things and going out more. Not because she's stable, or in a better place, or has made gains and seems responsible. Just because. He feel like - give her privilege and she will rise to the occasion (or something like that). I just don't have the energy to feel like that anymore. What do you do when you are looking at things from different angles? Are any of you in a same boat?