will i die?

1905

Well-Known Member
I'm not doing well. I can barely function I weigh 87 pounds ( 5'3). I just feel like hiding under my covers. My mind isn't working properly. I was an out-patient until last week when I got "kicked out" for refusing to go to the hospital. Now what? husband is mean and I hate that. He said he'll divorce me if I go to the hospital again. And really, how much can he stand? I just ate candy corn my whole day will be ruined from that. I know it's stupid, thanks for listening to my vent....don't reply, Alyssa
 

SRL

Active Member
Alyssa, if you're in critical emotional and/or physical condition and your team is recommending hospitalization, you need to look out for your health and go. Surely your husband knows the extreme dangers of not treating anorexia and if he's threatening you with divorce, then you'll have to deal with that later. I haven't read any of your other posts about your marriage but I have to wonder whether a marriage to a man who's not willing to take necessary steps to save his wife's life is worth preserving in its current state. I know that would be hard to deal with, but you need to focus on getting you well right now.

Get the immediate help you need NOW. Pack your bags and check in. GO!

{{{Hugs and prayers for you}}}
 
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tiredmommy

Well-Known Member
{{{Alyssa}}}

I agree with SRL, it's time to go back to the hospital. And yes.... untreated anorexia can kill you. That's why it's so important that you go now. {{{Hugs}}}
 

Lothlorien

Active Member
I also agree. If you need hospitalization, then you should go, regardless of what husband says. Your life is more important than his threats. I'm going to pm you.
 

Bean

Member
Agreed with the others. I don't know your entire situation, but absolutely untreated anorexia can kill, and if it doesn't, it can damage your organs, your body. Not knowing the circumstances of your marriage, I would still definitely say that you need to follow the advice of the doctors. Your kids are old enough they should be able to handle it with you away for a little bit, if that's what's needed. The flipside would be them learning to live life without you, hon. Take care of yourself. Everything may seem hopeless right now, but your body and mind are starving, working on way less than they should be. Take care of yourself and get better. (((gentle hugs)))
 

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
Upallnight--

An eating disorder is hard...it's very hard for you to live this way...

BUT by not getting help, you are choosing a very slow and painful suicide. You are choosing to kill yourself.

Your family loves you. They are having a hard time watching you do this to yourself. They do not want to lose you...especially not like this.

You need to go to the hospital.

You need to show your children that you love them enough to take care of their mother. You need to show your husband that you love him enough to take care of his wife.

You need to make sure that your family does not have to live without you.

Do not do this to your family.

Get help NOW.

Go.

Do not wait.
 

LittleDudesMom

Well-Known Member
Hey girl,

you shared your struggle with us on this forum a while back. I know you understand that we care.

Pack your bags and go to the hospital. The older kids can pitch in and help your youngest. As for your husband, as another poster said, deal with that later. The question should not be "How much can he stand?" You are dealing with a mental health issue here. It can take years of hard work to overcome. Don't place more import on his "feelings" than you do on your life. Everyone who truly loves you is concerned. Those of us here included.

Go today while he's at work and check yourself in. It's the best you can do for yourself and your children.

You deserve a fighting chance.

Isn't that what you would tell any one of us who came here struggling?

Hugs,
Sharon
 

graceupongrace

New Member
Alyssa,

Please get help now. You need to get healthy so that you can deal with marriage issues, kid issues and the rest of the "stuff" that life throws your way. For right now, focus on you. This is really a caring community, and we want you to know how concerned we are. Hugs.
 

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Alyssa,
I'm with the others, please get the help you need and deserve. If that means hospitalization, that's what it means, irregardless of what your husband says. Alyssa-we care about and love you. You are in my prayers. Gentlest of hugs.
 

Jena

New Member
hi

i know it's easy for us to sit here and say ok just go, risk him walking and go to that hospital. Yet at the end of the day if you do not go to a hospital there won't be a you for him to leave. also you have those kids with whom even though right now you probably feel like you aren't good to anyone i'm sure you are.

there comes a time you gotta put you first. THIS is that time!!! go get you all good. screw anyone else's thoughts.

update soon

(((Hugs))))
 

Jody

Active Member
Please go to the hospital today, right now. Your kids want you to live and so do we. You can worry about your marriage later. Sending many hugs and prayers right now. We all care for you here and want to here that you are on your way. Please go.
 

JJJ

Active Member
Alyssa,

Please check-in hon. I hope you took everyone's advice and checked into the hospital. Call 911 if you are too weak to drive.

(((Hugs)))
 

totoro

Mom? What's a difficult child?
I have thought about you a lot over the past couple of months. Please help yourself
Don't do this
 

ctmom05

Member
Alyssa,

Sometimes when you have so much on your plate you don't know where to start in making things any better. You can't sort things out in any logical fashion.

You can probably pull out of somewhere in your memory that you've heard anorexia can kill you. Psychological issues can, too.

If you want someone to tell you what to do, listen to what we're saying here. You gotta take care of you before you can be a caregiver(for) or partner (of) anyone else. Allow yourself to heal and get stronger; then you will have more where-with-all to deal with the relationship problems.

Get treatment amd get well .. .. ..
 

1905

Well-Known Member
Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for all of your support! I'm still at home but I am going to go into the hospital. husband only has 30 days left on his insurance for this kind of treatment for me, and my Dr said that it wasn't enough. I could still go for 30 days, but instead I am going to work, and I've opted into my benefits, allowing for more than the 30 days for me. I have the paperwork here, I just got it yesterday, and as soon as I get the new insurance from my job, I'm going to call the dr. back and I'll go. So, that's where I stand, and hopefully it won't take long from this point.

It was a pain having my job opt me in, normally you can only opt in in June or Dec. unless you have a letter from an insurance company saying you've been removed and have none. husband's insurance would not put that into writting. Finally I just told them exactly why, and then they agreed to write it. I asked them not to include my personal info into that letter, and I hope they didn't. I'll keep you updated.... Thank you, giant hugs to each and every one of you.-Alyssa
 

LittleDudesMom

Well-Known Member
Alyssa,

thanks so much for checking back in. We've been thinking about you and, honestly, a little worried about you.

How long do you think it will be until you are able to go into the hospital on your new insurance plan? Do you have any type of support in the meantime - like a sponsor or something?

Hugs,
Sharon
 
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