Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
With no contact, it still continues
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 749438" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Hi SS- I've had similar situations when I was in the midst of chaos with my daughter and cut off contact. It came around to me that she told people I had put her and my infant granddaughter out of my house in the middle of a blizzard when they had no car. Of course, the truth was I told her she couldn't stay in my home if she continued to have contact with her abuser, so she left. On foot, in a blizzard, to go back to her abuser. Her abuser's (also her baby daddy) mother called me livid about me putting them out in a blizzard. She left her anger in message, and I chose not to reply. I had debt collectors, the sheriff, hospitals, places of her employment contact me at various times about various dramas in her life when I had no contact with her. It was horrible. It was like ripping a scab off a wound each time. And many of those people definitely were judgmental of me for not knowing where she was or how to contact her. That just added to my already poor state of mind. When people were understanding and kind, it meant a lot to me. Once I had to take the dog she abandoned with me to the vet. I was explaining to the staff woman that my daughter had moved to an unknown place, likely another state, with her infant daughter and abandoned the dog with me, so she was now my dog. The woman said, "You probably wish she'd left the baby and taken the dog." I said, "Actually I wish she just left them both with me." I never forgot her kindly manner. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you're going through this, and I know it's hard to really believe none of this is your fault, but it's not. These choices are your son's, and his alone. He is a grown man who makes his own decisions. Once I really internalized and believed that my daughter's decisions were hers alone and had no reflection on me I started telling people the truth about her. I no longer tried to hide her life or choices. If someone asked me how she was I told them. One time she got mad at me for telling someone she was drinking again. I told her, "You must think it's ok because you're doing it. I will no longer lie for you." It was truly liberating when I got to that point.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 749438, member: 11235"] Hi SS- I've had similar situations when I was in the midst of chaos with my daughter and cut off contact. It came around to me that she told people I had put her and my infant granddaughter out of my house in the middle of a blizzard when they had no car. Of course, the truth was I told her she couldn't stay in my home if she continued to have contact with her abuser, so she left. On foot, in a blizzard, to go back to her abuser. Her abuser's (also her baby daddy) mother called me livid about me putting them out in a blizzard. She left her anger in message, and I chose not to reply. I had debt collectors, the sheriff, hospitals, places of her employment contact me at various times about various dramas in her life when I had no contact with her. It was horrible. It was like ripping a scab off a wound each time. And many of those people definitely were judgmental of me for not knowing where she was or how to contact her. That just added to my already poor state of mind. When people were understanding and kind, it meant a lot to me. Once I had to take the dog she abandoned with me to the vet. I was explaining to the staff woman that my daughter had moved to an unknown place, likely another state, with her infant daughter and abandoned the dog with me, so she was now my dog. The woman said, "You probably wish she'd left the baby and taken the dog." I said, "Actually I wish she just left them both with me." I never forgot her kindly manner. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I know it's hard to really believe none of this is your fault, but it's not. These choices are your son's, and his alone. He is a grown man who makes his own decisions. Once I really internalized and believed that my daughter's decisions were hers alone and had no reflection on me I started telling people the truth about her. I no longer tried to hide her life or choices. If someone asked me how she was I told them. One time she got mad at me for telling someone she was drinking again. I told her, "You must think it's ok because you're doing it. I will no longer lie for you." It was truly liberating when I got to that point. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
With no contact, it still continues
Top