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Worried about my daughter.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758953" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hello. I have an adopted child too, a son who I adopted at 22 months. We had no problems either until he was about the age of your daughter, except for ADHD related issues throughout school. Our relationship was a joy. Then it wasn't.</p><p></p><p>I agree with goodvibes. I think college and jobs is a non-issue at this point. First, I don't think teenage behavioral problems will affect later life UNLESS they are not resolved. I would do everything and anything I could do now, in order to help her get a grip. First of all this would be a confidential health-related matter. And second, who cares? I know loads of young people who have had these kinds of issues, who got into fine colleges and had stellar careers. That includes both serious mental illness and serious drug problems. These things are very common and people overcome them. That would be my focus.</p><p></p><p>I would find an excellent therapeutic boarding school. If my child did not take it seriously and participate, I think what I might consider is Job Corps. They will take young people at 16, I believe. It is a free, residential, well supervised job training program, where she would be able to complete high school and get drug training. There are sites all over the US. Your daughter needs to know that you won't play. That if she chooses to keep going down the drain that she will have to live the consequences.</p><p></p><p>Believe me I did not do this. I wish I had. </p><p></p><p>I know i am sounding severe, but the thing your daughter must get is that she cannot and will not be permitted to win, at taking this self-destructive path. She must work to turn this around. And if she doesn't there is no alternative that would permit her to return home to dominate the situation, as she has been doing. A therapeutic boarding school and Job Corps as a worst case possibility. to me make sense.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime there are organizations for adoptive children and their families that help them come to grips with all of the issues involved. She needs to understand how seriously you are taking this. I would get her into residential treatment now. There are parents who are here that have gotten their kids into residential treatment, and they have turned this around 180 degrees. The rest of us who played around, are still in the some variation of the same mess. </p><p></p><p>Welcome to you. And good luck. Posting helps. I hope you stay with us for awhile.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758953, member: 18958"] Hello. I have an adopted child too, a son who I adopted at 22 months. We had no problems either until he was about the age of your daughter, except for ADHD related issues throughout school. Our relationship was a joy. Then it wasn't. I agree with goodvibes. I think college and jobs is a non-issue at this point. First, I don't think teenage behavioral problems will affect later life UNLESS they are not resolved. I would do everything and anything I could do now, in order to help her get a grip. First of all this would be a confidential health-related matter. And second, who cares? I know loads of young people who have had these kinds of issues, who got into fine colleges and had stellar careers. That includes both serious mental illness and serious drug problems. These things are very common and people overcome them. That would be my focus. I would find an excellent therapeutic boarding school. If my child did not take it seriously and participate, I think what I might consider is Job Corps. They will take young people at 16, I believe. It is a free, residential, well supervised job training program, where she would be able to complete high school and get drug training. There are sites all over the US. Your daughter needs to know that you won't play. That if she chooses to keep going down the drain that she will have to live the consequences. Believe me I did not do this. I wish I had. I know i am sounding severe, but the thing your daughter must get is that she cannot and will not be permitted to win, at taking this self-destructive path. She must work to turn this around. And if she doesn't there is no alternative that would permit her to return home to dominate the situation, as she has been doing. A therapeutic boarding school and Job Corps as a worst case possibility. to me make sense. In the meantime there are organizations for adoptive children and their families that help them come to grips with all of the issues involved. She needs to understand how seriously you are taking this. I would get her into residential treatment now. There are parents who are here that have gotten their kids into residential treatment, and they have turned this around 180 degrees. The rest of us who played around, are still in the some variation of the same mess. Welcome to you. And good luck. Posting helps. I hope you stay with us for awhile. [/QUOTE]
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