Worst Mother Day Ever

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ConcernedMother, May 14, 2019.

  1. ConcernedMother

    ConcernedMother New Member

    Hi Everyone I’m new to the group I really need some advice on this ............ (I’m exhaling ok ok deep breaths )Lord take the wheel ..so can’t sleep been up since yesterday I’m gonna give explicit details please don’t judge I need to get this off my chest ...... (deep breathing) So yesterday was Mother’s Day as we all know Got up otta bed my husband kiss me Good morning baby my husband says what u wanna do today I replied let’s go to dinner & I will like to go put some flowers on your Mother Burial site Visit a few of the elders of the family that what I wanted for Mother’s Day n a big juicy cheeseburger let me go back so my husband kiss me say get morning something jus didn’t feel right not that he kiss me good morning he alway does that okay sorry to much detail I trying(paint a picture)here so I get my day started did a lil shopping had few thing I need to pick up something told me to take my daughter with me she a teenager 15 so she never wanna go anywhere with me now a days everything seems normal we laughing n taking she wishes me a happy Mother Day we goin call her The Teenager She has Two older sister my oldest daughter she 29 years old will call her daughter #1 she has two children ages 7&10 my second daughter she 27 she has two boys ages seven & three in one on the way will call her #2 my oldest son he is 21 will call him Son #1 he has two children ages 3 & 1month old n my youngest son Which is seven will call him the baby boy it been a long two days so I finished my shopping came home got dressed daughter two come over she got the grand kid they brought me flowers & cards I gettin hugs n kissed I’m like yes it gonna be a beautiful day few minutes later daughter number two walks in with the grand babies also I getting more hugs n kisses gifts I jus smiling my day going perfect so far so everybody agrees to go eat go the burial site so we all go place flowers on the burial I wanted to plant some flowers also some red & yellow roses to be exact everybody together were talking taking pictures everything seen nom so we all get ready visit my husband stepmom brought her flowers all smiles there after we visit my husband friend mother everybody smiling-eating taking picture & Drinking except myself n daughter number two in diffidently not the Teenager ok moving rt along we all go dinner my husband was acting very strange rude n anger I thought is was the alcohol like he alway act when he is full so we’re going into the diner to eat dinner my husband say something to my daughter I don’t hear because were walk-in in front let me bag up so previously at the house everybody their except Boy number one he lives out town he call happy mother day all that good stuff so I’m getting dress I’m in the bathroom I hear the girls giggling n talking I ask them what so funny what yall talkin bout oh nothing they replied so I jus blue it off so moving forward we’re out to dinner my husband upset at the kid grandkids he disciplining I believe he says their were being bad I didn’t knw he was irritated ok so he leave out the restaurant Im like ok what wrong what is going on wondering if he okay my daughter fiancé goes out side with him so me my daughter grandkids order our food but I requested that it be to go didn’t wanna be embarrassed our disturb everyone dinner the other customers that was in the diner or upset my grandchildren so my husband n son n law comes back in the diner so my husband talking to The Teenager he telling her u know u wrong why u looking at me like that so I thought it was because how she was dressed she had on a lil mini skirt it was short but not short short n some fishnet panny holes so The Teenager In I go to the restroom I’m asking her are u ok u know how your daddy is when he been drinking n u know he old fashion i tell her it ok give me hug so we go Bk to the tables she sittin in between my husband n me he still fusing at her I like husband will call him Dad what is going on he like nothing it all good so were sitting really close so we’re kinda squish so my husband said something I don’t remember exactly what he said but she jump up TheTheTeenager I grab her like ok my what is going on she push dad he fall on the floor not like push push but like we’re all sitting in she trying get up remind u she in the middle of both of us she run outside dad on he neck I try- ing to defuse the situation I don’t know what the Hell jus happen the managers coming out it a big mess so The Teenager runs off I go after her I call in call her name she keeps walking so I go Bk in the restaurant pay for the food dad gone The Teenager gone so me in the grandchildren my daughter her fiancée in the baby boy we all rode separate but together to much to explain So The Teenager disappears Dad Disappears I tryna stay claim children watching so I didn’t wanna say to much like Imma cuss his ass out but okay we leave I’m going home I tell daughter Two take the baby boy with her they leave dad pulls up I like what going on I telling him your drunk saying to him he is wrong were arguing in the middle of street I go inside the house like I’m not bout do this your disrespect ass excuse my language I was upset literally so he come in the house he ranting I like you spoil dinner it Mother Day I jus wanted one day he says do u know wht your daughter did I like wht what are u talking about he like nawl Im not going to tell u can’t handle this I like what I’m guessing all kind things He like I woke up this morning went to fix me some coffee I go upstairs check on the kids she in the bed with a whole boy #naked my eyes open wide my mouth drop my heart went to racing Im dead I like WHAT so dad like explaining everything dad said he talk with the young man Dad says he didn’t wanna wake me because it been a big mess in he didn’t wanna mess up my mother day I explain to my husband you should told me he said he was holding it back not to hurt me I had no clue what was going on Girl one n two knw so The Teenager ran away I turn into inspector gadget I loss my phone so I didn’t have any number of her friends I was so worried I track her down she at the young man house His Mother their I m not judgeing which I never met he is eighteen they been talking for two months I go in the house my daughter on the floor sleep I end up having to show her who mama was my daughter has a good upbringing never disrespected me I don’t knw who this girl was she saying mean thing act like she didn’t care so I jus venting I called the police I had them to take her to daughter number two house I don’t knw what to do been dealing with a lot other personal issue Ivdnr wanna mess the young man life up he in college he jus to old n experienced to be talking to my baby I was googling what to do bout your child running away I stumbled on this site Im jus praying my daughters is giving her good advice I don’t knw feeling like I failed I take to my daughter bout sex got her the shot what Should I do bring her home or put her in juvenile so she won’t end up pregnant I don’t wanna leave her on the streets she may not wanna come home she is probably a shame her dad seen her he is fine until he drink n start rainting please help I Don’t knw what to do ?? Do I owe my husband an apology should I be mad at girl one n two for not telling me I need some good advice ..... Thank for reading Help)Me Mother in distress ...
     
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Right now, it's probably hard to even breath, let alone make informed decisions.

    I think other moms will reply pretty soon.

    In our state, 16 is legal consent age. But, I don't think, even with your daughter at 15, that the police will get involved, since it was consensual, and, at least in our state, the teen would have to cooperate in pressing charges.

    Maybe you could talk to your older daughters before talking to youngest. I bet they have some stories to tell. And they turned out ok.

    You will not be able to regulate your daughter's sex life. It sounds like you were proactive with birth control. That's good. Now you need to set firm boundaries on your home. It was very insppropriate of her to sneak someone in the house and have sex. That is the issue you need to confront.

    also, maybe a family therapist would help this situation.... Ksm
     
  3. BusynMember

    BusynMember Member

    My daughter Kay started having sex at 14. Sometimes she snuck boys into our house too and we caught them twice. They were minors plus we enabled Kay so we just threw the boys out and called their disinterested parents. We had a few pregnancy scares. I feel your sadness and disappointment.

    I wish I had advice. I think getting the shot was a good idea. Kay took the Pill and only God Himself knows if she did it properly or just luckily did not get pregnant.

    I know how bad you feel. In this day and age some kids seem to just throw it in our faces. Many have no respect at all even if we raise them right.
     
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    Last edited: May 14, 2019
  4. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome, CM

    I am unclear in the details, but it sounds like your daughter is now at your older daughter’s house. She needs to come back home and face the consequences of her actions.

    Do you know who the man is that was sleeping in your home without your permission? He is a grown man and knows better than to sneak into a fifteen year old’s bedroom at night. I wouldn’t let him off the hook. Look up the laws of your state. If this is consensual in your state, I would have a talk with him and his parents, telling him how disrespectful he acted toward your family and household. You will see what kind of young man he is by his response.

    I am concerned that your daughter is doing other things, like drugs. This type of behavior is not typical among fifteen-year-olds, but is typical among our out of control kids. You need to get to the bottom of what is going on in her life.

    Is your husband the father of the fifteen year old? You and dad need to work together to get this child some help. First, you need to sit her down and try to talk with her about what is going on in her life. This is a priority. All adults need to pull together for the best interests of the child.

    Counseling is a must, here. Find out what is going on and hopefully get it turned around before something worse happens.

    I would consider taking away access to social media for the time being, until you can get this under control.

    The well-being of your minor children come first.

    Let us know how you are doing.

    Apple
     
  5. ConcernedMother

    ConcernedMother New Member

    Hi Thank you for commenting yes my daughter at my daughter house but she no good example run away 3 child living condition liviable but not suitable No I never met the young man I talk to him once told him not to talk to my underage daughter the police did say I could presue charges I knw it was consensual but it jus the fact of the situation I believe she smoke marijuana some times Yes my husband is her biological Father I jus want get my daughter focus again thank you for the advice definitely counselling is definitely to be considerer ...
     
  6. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Your daughter needs to come back home. She isn’t an adult and cannot decide where she wants to live, and the older daughter’s home does not sound like the best place for her, anyway.

    You need to be strong, here.

    I would consider getting an alarm system that will tell you if a window or door is opened, both to keep her in and others out.

    I would not allow her unrestricted access to social media.

    I would consider drug rehab of some sort. We don’t know what other drugs may be involved or what this guy has introduced her to.

    Counseling is a must.

    I would at least talk to this man and his parents if you choose not to press charges. They need to know that their son is risking a pedo charge if he continues seeing your daughter.
     
  7. ConcernedMother

    ConcernedMother New Member

    Thank u for commenting the thing is she be 16 n a few more weeks I really want her to finish school not end up pregnant or worse I am going to talk to the boy mother she seem a lil slow i don’t knw I’m jus pray on it in calm down so I won’t make any wrong moves ....
     
  8. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    You mentioned you got her on the shot. Make her stay on it. She's not going to be happy about the side effects, but that is a small price to pay, considering what might happen.