You know you're the parent of a difficult child when...

[InsaneCdn]

OK, how about something a little lighter? (maybe)
Instead of trying to define a "difficult child", how about if we define ourselves?
I'll start...

You know you're the parent of a difficult child when...

1) You consider a doctor's appointment to be a social outing.
2) You look for ways to sneak out the "back door" when you see the parents of "too-easy child" kids show up.
3) You overanalyze every statement your kids make - difficult child or not.
4) You can't sleep because you're worried about what difficult child might have done... or didn't do... or is going to do.
5) You're on your 2,945th hiding place for your wallet.
6) You're thankful that today is not as bad as yesterday, or at least not as bad as a "worst" day.
7) You've been disowned by family, because they don't believe that there's anything wrong with difficult child except your parenting.
8) Your kids are "old enough", but an uninterrupted night's sleep is still a luxury.
9) You second-guess most professional opinions, unless you reached that conclusion first.
10) You second-guess your own opinions - whether or not the professionals agree with you.


What else defines "us"?

 

[recoveringenabler]

Well done IC.

You know you're the parent of a difficult child when:
( a bit of humor in an otherwise strange Universe...........)

1. You believe living in Iraq, Afghanistan or any war zone would be more peaceful and more quiet then where you live.

2. You don't know what it's like to sleep with both eyes closed.

3. When the phone rings late at night, you are dressed, in the car and headed for the police station before you're fully awake.

4. You have locks on your bedroom door, your liquor cabinet, your dresser drawers, your medicine cabinet and your refrigerator.

5. You have locks on the outside of some doors

6. you have the police, the hospital, the psychiatric ward and your attorney on speed dial

7. Your standard response to the question, how is your child..........is...........my child? Oh, didn't I tell you, she's still in Europe, finishing that novel........or as one mother I know said,"my kids are great, my daughter is at Brown and my son is at Rikers."

6. You now hang out with women who have no kids and don't ask questions.

7. All the police in town know you on a first name basis.

8. You assume that whenever your difficult child's lips are moving, she is lying.

9. When your difficult child calls, you cut to the chase and simply ask, "how much?"

10. You may be 36 years old, but you have the internal organs of a 96 year old woman who has been stuck in fight or flight for 30 years.

11. The only time you can rest is when you are undergoing surgery or dental work.

12. You recognize your difficult child's girlfriend or boyfriend from an episode of LockUp.

13. You completely understand why some species eat their young.

 

[Liahona]

You have PTSD from your kids behavior.

The pharmacist keeps looking for the other prescriptions certain there are more if you've only called in one.

Your medication cabinet is more full than your grandparents.

The most expensive things in your home are your kids medications.

Blood or poop smeared on the walls is more common than food being smeared on them.

You ignore behavior that other parents would find intolerable.

*You find joy in the small things.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Please keep these coming. They are cracking me up. Only because they are sadly so true. I am grateful everyday that I have found this site. I would love to list some more, but I need to go do the daily battle of "I swear I am going to school today and will be on time" So that leads me to...

The attendance secretary at your difficult child's school recognizes your voice when you call in, and just sighs.

 

[AnnieO]

...You look for "stuff" behind outlet covers, in bean bag chairs, and behind books on the bookcase...

...When something goes missing you automatically assume difficult child took it (and more often than not you are right)...

...A phone call from the school sends you into a panic attack... Even at 5 AM, when it has been snowing all night...

...You have random food in your bedroom closet or a cabinet or refrigerator in your room, like chocolate chips, bacon bits, cheese, popcorn, pepperoni...

...You know that "honeymoon" doesn't mean anything even remotely resembling a hotel room, beach and alone time with your SO...

...When one of your kids does something typical teen you don't know what to do...

...You are broke, not because you spend money, but because it is repeatedly stolen from you, no matter where you hid that wallet...

...You go to sleep after you hear the front door open and close, and wake up when difficult child returns...

 

[Dixies_fire]

Living in a war zone WAS MUCH more peaceful than living in your home.

You say the same things at the same time of day every day, you've actually thought about recording yourself and just playing it over a pa system.

You constantly evaluate if they extra sleep you are attempting to get is worth the disaster that will inevitably follow.


.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

...you stuff your cell phone in your bra when you go to the bathroom so you don't miss an emergency call from school...

 

[DammitJanet]

I love some of these, especially the one that referenced the show LockUp. That is one of my favorite shows...lol. Right now they are showing the Cleveland Jail. I get a kick out of that one because it is right across the street from where we went to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. Nancy failed to show us that...lmao. The inmates have a lovely view of the Browns stadium and Lake Eerie. Just what they are missing. Poor babies. Might make a difference.

My thing that always struck terror was anytime I saw a phone call coming in from a number starting with 671-3XXX, and I didnt recognize the rest of it, I was always on guard. That is the county prefix. Never a good thing.

 

[scent of cedar]

Ha! I love this post.

:O)

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

When you crave total silence...

On the rare occasions when you have the house to yourself, you sit in total silence, maybe curled up with a beloved "furry" family member, enjoying and luxuriating in the quiet and peacefulness surrounding you... SFR

 

[Hopeless]

Love the post and can relate to almost all of them. The life of a parent of a difficult child......never in my wildest dreams (nightmares)!

 

[AppleCori]

When you have to tell long-distance relatives to stop asking you how/what your adult child is doing because is it too painful.

When your adult child announces the coming of a new baby and you are devastated.

When you ask said adult son how they are getting his one-month-old's diapers (because neither of the parents work) and he pauses a moment as if he's never considered that question (because he probably hasn't) and then says probably from WIC.

When your definition of 'home sercurity system' is something that keeps your adult son from breaking in to your house.

 

[Signorina]

When you stop judging parents. When you want to jump through the television screen and strangle the reporters/analysts who are dissecting the latest loner-turned-mass murderer/criminal and summing it all up by blaming the parents for not getting him help.

I wish someone would do an expose on a loving parent trying to get help for their 18 year old...and experience first hand the disdain we receive and the stone walls we are up against!! Maybe I should write to Katie Couric.

 

[AnnieO]

...When said home security system is considered to keep the kid IN and not running...

 

[HaoZi]

When you take the same anti-anxiety medications as your child.

When you can tell which medication is which by shaking the bottle.

You put your own health at risk because there's simply no time to go to the doctor for yourself.

 

[BusynMember]

When the phone rings, I see my son's name, and I let it keep ringing.

When I don't want to go visit my grandson because it means I have to visit my son too.

When I'd be devestated if my son said, "I'm going to have another baby!" (and I love children)

When people ask me how my son who lives out of state is doing and I can't tell them the truth. I have to say, "Oh, just fine."

Getting desensitized, in a sad way, to hearing the difficult child yell at you, swear at you, and call you horrible names. After a while, I don't even care. I just hang up, but he calls back like nothing is wrong.

 

[nerfherder]

You've got that one family member who tells you about the latest therapy/cure/treatment/miracle/panacea they saw on some TV talk show or TV movie or TV documentary and is convinced That Will Fix Your Kid For Good, It Did That Movie Star's Kid, Right?

Alternately, you've got that one (or more) family member who thinks you're crazy for putting your kid on that Special Diet, She Will Starve Because She Doesn't Eat Enough.

(Or as my PEC daughter put it last week when we were talking about our family's notorious food issues: "...I WILL WORRY ABOUT YOU BEING HUNGRY ALL DAY. DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE AN EARLY DEATH BECAUSE I WORRIED SO MUCH ABOUT YOU BEING HUNGRY?")

 

[AnnieO]

...When the Total Transformation System ad keeps popping up in your news feed, email, etc. ...

...When you compare your child's room to Hoarders and the only difference is that she hasn't had as much time to keep stuff...

...When you found this site Googling because you just couldn't take one more day without some sort of answer or direction or SOMETHING...

...When not one single item in this list makes you roll your eyes...

 

[HaoZi]

When you're wracking your brain to add to this list, but you know there's more, you're just too brain-fogged to think of it.

You also know there's been a few other threads like it before and just can't find them.

 

[lovemysons]

Young difficult child calls you to let you know he made his bed. He's 24 and living in your house!!!

You tell your oldest difficult child that you are planning a vacation later this year and he he bursts out in disgust and says, "A vacation! From WHAT?!?" (roll eyes...this is the son who I visited in prison and ended up having a psychotic breakdown the following year)...Nevermind all the years of panic and depression and heartache this one caused.

You show up at prison to visit your difficult child son and the guard knows him personally and likes him. You're "proud" once again of your difficult child...heavy sigh.

LMS