You might be a man...

[hearts and roses]

H: In the kitchen futzing around getting a little 'snack'. Wanders into the kitchen 15 minutes later with some gelatanous concoction in a glass bowl - the dogs fast on his heels, staring him down. The hallway light is on because he needed it to find the kitchen (our house is only 40 feet long and 20 feet wide). The kitchen light is on because he was making a snack. The bathroom light is STILL on from when he took his shower after dinner.

Me: Why are all the lights on?

H: I don't know, you left them on and turns to the tv as if he is Mr. Innocent.

Me: Goes through the house turning off lights (I pay that bill) In the kitchen I find an opened melting container of Breyers ice cream on the counter, chocolate fudge smeared across the counter, a sloppy spoon with melted ice cream on top of the stove, the freezer is open just enough to keep the motor running. H is now in the living room, passed out on the couch (from his dry documentary he had to watch, you know, the one about freight trains he's only seem 8 million times). The dogs have the ice cream bowl on the rug rolling it around fighting to get their long sticky snouts inside to get that last bit of chocolate fudge and ice cream. Ugh.

Yep, he might be a man.

 

[fuddleduddledee]

My husband was reading some of these and when he got to Mustang's where a man might mow the dog poop my husband pipes up and says "nope, you weed whack it, that's what I did" and with a little twinkle in his eye he says "It goes all over" EEEEEEW

you might also be a man if you empty the sugar container open the cupboard get out the sugar canister open the lid dip your teaspoon in the whole pound of sugar isntead of filling up the sugar container and then leave the opened canister on the counter.

 

[mstang67chic]

My husband was reading some of these and when he got to Mustang's where a man might mow the dog poop my husband pipes up and says "nope, you weed whack it, that's what I did" and with a little twinkle in his eye he says "It goes all over" EEEEEEW

Oh, he would SOOOOOOO be doing his own laundry.



At the laundrymat.

 

[mstang67chic]

H: In the kitchen I find an opened melting container of Breyers ice cream on the counter, chocolate fudge smeared across the counter, a sloppy spoon with melted ice cream on top of the stove, the freezer is open just enough to keep the motor running. H is now in the living room, passed out on the couch (from his dry documentary he had to watch, you know, the one about freight trains he's only seem 8 million times). The dogs have the ice cream bowl on the rug rolling it around fighting to get their long sticky snouts inside to get that last bit of chocolate fudge and ice cream.

For the love of all that's cold and sweet, show him the Breyers post!!! Don't waste it man!!!

And NO weed whacking the results of the dogs eating ice cream and fudge!!!

 

[Star*]

You might be a man -

If you walk over the new bristly welcome mat like it's a white installed square of 45.00 a sq. ft. Berber carpeting, then say "I didn't want to ruin the new thing", continue through the house and wipe your feet on the matching kitchen throw rugs, and then once yelled at walk onto the house carpeting track your honkin huge muddy big boots to the bathroom and say "Well you yelled at everyone about peeing in the yard - what do you want out of me?"

I'm carpeting my house with welcome mats.

 

[Mom2oddson]

You might be a man if you think it's okay to go to the mailbox in your underwear.

 

[witzend]

JoG, I think yours takes the cake! Did you marry a 12 year old?

 

[hearts and roses]

JoG, I think yours takes the cake! Did you marry a 12 year old?

Witz, some days it's hard to tell.

 

[Star*]

I'm going to write all these down and blow Jeff Foxworthy out
Oh and Jo - its' between hitting the dog ****e with a weedwacker and your electricity *****, ice cream-documentary snoreperson.

See - we NEVER really understand where a person is coming from until they explain things like THAT.

He'd be gettin his ice cream in heaven at my house. :crazy1:

 

[witzend]

If you think it only costs $32 to fill your gas tank because you have never actually paid the credit card bill in your life, you might be a man.

 

[Steely]

...if you blow your nose on your hand and then LICK it.


Oh...wait. That's "You might be a difficult child if..." Sorry. My bad.

OMG Mstang................too funny. Now we need to start a post with "you might me a difficult child if".

Mine would be...........and of course he is a male..........
"You might be a difficult child/man if you think chewing your toe nails off is an effective form of a pedicure."
Acckkkkkk..............gonna puke.

 

[Star*]

HOW IN THE DR. SCHOLLS DO YOU GET YOUR TOE NAILS IN YOUR MOUTH?

Of course I had to try - I think I broke something, but I don't want to go to the ER and say - I tried to put my toenails in my mouth.

ANd that husband - that said this was not funny -

SERIOUSLY - have you been reading the rest of this?

I'll add one to the booger collection - That thing men do when they are in a field and put a finger over one nostril and blow? VERY sexy.

 

[witzend]

If the entire family eats half of the pot of spaghetti for dinner, and you eat the other half by yourself the next day for lunch, you're probably a man.

 

[Sara PA]

You might be a man if you think carrying your dinner plate to the sink constitutes "helping out around the house".

 

[mstang67chic]

I'll add one to the booger collection - That thing men do when they are in a field and put a finger over one nostril and blow? VERY sexy.

Ah yes, the infamous "Farmer's Blow" I went to a rural school (70 graduates total in my class)...I've seen that once or twice in my life.

 

[flutterbee]

If you're idea of a good time in bed is farting and pulling the covers over your wife's head, you might be a man.

 

[Lothlorien]

If you're idea of a good time in bed is farting and pulling the covers over your wife's head, you might be a man.

 

[Abbey]

I'll add one to the booger collection - That thing men do when they are in a field and put a finger over one nostril and blow? VERY sexy.

You guys are KILLING ME!!!

Yes, it IS technically called a 'farm blow.' In fact, I'm going to the dictionary right now. Nope. Not in the dictionary. So...ALL MEN NEED TO STOP THIS.

OMG. Why do we associate with these people?

Abbey

 

[Star*]

A better booger combination -

Do the "farm blow" in the shower and laugh when your S/O has to borrow your spacking knife to clean the shower -

AND then say "Well at least I stopped peeing outside" (again)

-I think I'm just going to tell him to pee outside again - this is costing me way too much house work.

 

[witzend]

Do the "farm blow" in the shower and laugh when your S/O has to borrow your spacking knife to clean the shower -

AND then say "Well at least I stopped peeing outside" (again)

But you only stopped peeing outside because now you pee in the shower - you might be a man...