Concerned about 5 year old

[heather34576]

Hi Heather

How do you feel about the results of the evaluation? I'm glad he had a great month. That
s great. If he can do it for a month, he can do it more.

Thank you. I agree it's very encouraging that he could do well for a month.

The results of the evaluation didn't surprise me, it all makes sense with what I've observed. We are going to try medication for the ADHD and see if that helps him at all.

I'm also reading Ross Greene again and trying to reframe my thinking.

 

[heather34576]

Hi Heather.
I just wanted to say that I think as his mom, you should trust your gut. We are a functional, loving family - two parents, three kids (two of whom are high achieving). I have an almost 25 year old with numerous mental health disorders. I have been worried since he was a toddler but was brushed off by teachers (of which I am one!) and medical
professionals. No one (except my husband) could see what I saw. Everyone thought we were overreacting because he was our first child. I tried my hardest to get him help but now I wish I’d pushed even harder. Now he’s an adult and I can’t force him to get medical attention. Sometimes he seeks help and takes medication and other times he doesn’t. And now there’s nothing I can do. Keep seeking answers while your child is still small. Sending you hugs.
Edited to add: Sorry, I just realised this is an old post, so probably redundant advice! I’ll leave the comment in case it’s helpful to someone else!

I'm still here and I appreciate your comment!

 

[Copabanana]

Dear Heather

You might want to read about neurofeedback and it's use with children who are diagnosed with ADHD and ADD. It can be used in conjunction with or as an alternative to medication.

 

[heather34576]

Dear Heather

You might want to read about neurofeedback and it's use with children who are diagnosed with ADHD and ADD. It can be used in conjunction with or as an alternative to medication.

Thank you! I will look into that.

 

[TerriH]

Heather, my own son is on the Autistic spectrum, so I thought that I would share what helped my son.

Basically, my son would try to be perfect but NOBODY can be perfect, and that goes double for the little ones. So, when he could no longer be perfect he would lose it, cry, yell, and generally act out. Whenever e would blow up for no reason it would be because he had been trying to be too good. I learned to give him a break while he was still being good. It worked better that way. HE simply could not pick up his toys for as long at a time as most toddlers, and when he was finished eating he needed to be able to excuse himself from the table and leave. Etc

I also changed his punishment for when he was naughty to time spent in the corner, and when he was five years old 90 seconds was enough. It was hard for him to stay still and so I stayed with him until I had counted 90 seconds out loud. And I was not surprised when he was diagnosed with hyperactivity when he was older.

Active punishments resulted in him acting out, but his standing in the corner did not. So that was what we did. And if he refused I simply picked him up and set him there with no fuss or scolding.

He also had great difficulty if he was in too large of a group: I learned to watch for signs that he was getting overstimulated

All in all, I do not believe that he ended up getting into much more trouble than other kids did: I just needed to keep in mind that the ideal behavior for my son was to NOT be overly good. And as he grew up we had some interesting conversations about the subject as well, as it is a difficult concept for a child that he was to leave a mess if it was too hard to pick up. It was even HARDER to convince him to come back and pick up after a break, because then he would be doing something else, but we muddled through.

He is 26 now, and living in a section 8 apartment. He did try a couple of jobs but he could not hold them, as he would get diarrhea when he was stressed, and then his supervisor would be unhappy with the bathroom breaks, which would make more diarrhea.... We discussed this with his doctor and he was given something for it, but this is not a problem that has been solved. But he is a good kid and I am proud of him

 

[good vibes]

Hi Heather. I’m curious what the evaluator had to say about the behavior issues? It sounds like Oppositional Defiance Disorder. At the very start of this chain, you noted that you thought the issue was not related to Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) often entails a lack of empathy and I think you’ll find that the behavior and the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) are related.

You’re doing the right thing with drug therapy for the underlying ADHD. I hope it helps. If there are still serious issues, you may want to ask about additional medications for ‘autistic irritability’. No one wants to drug a 6 year old, but if the situation isn’t addressed, it may get worse and a low dose of risperidone could help with calming him.

Is the Occupational Therapist (OT) using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? The contributor above is quite correct; autistic kids often don’t respond to traditional punishments. They might not understand the cause and effect and may respond better when good behavior is praised and bad behaviour is handled with lighter sanctions.

If you’ve ever had a cat and tried to punish her, she likely perceived you as being mean. You need to be creative in training them. Forgive the comparison but the autistic brain can be similar; your son may react to discipline by upping the ante and the punishment can be counter productive. Cause and effect can be elusive and CBT therapy can be more effective than traditional discipline.

Good luck. You may feel alone and helpless, but you are a great parent. Good on you that you have spent all this time on trying to find solutions for your son. Things are going to be ok.

 

[Nandina]

Hi Heather,

This might be a long shot, but if your son is still taking Straterra, is it possible he is reacting to it? My son, also adopted, on the spectrum and with ADHD and anxiety was prescribed Straterra at close to the same age as your son. It made him act very weird—saying inappropriate things, making violent drawings and in general just strange behavior. I took him off it. That is the only drug that ever had that reaction but I will never forget how weird he acted. It was scary.

Just thought I would mention it. Best wishes to you in finding the help your son needs.

 

[KTMom91]

Strattera was a horrible drug for my hubby. He was an emotional mess, mood swings, just generally awful. I created a spreadsheet of dosage and behaviors, and went to the doctor's appointment with him to be sure the doctor understood that this was not a good fit. Ritalin works much better for him. He was only on Strattera for a month.

My daughter was more focused, but it didn't help with the hyperactive. She was still kind of wild. Miss KT was in junior high, took Strattera for about two years.

 

[heather34576]

Hi Heather,

This might be a long shot, but if your son is still taking Straterra, is it possible he is reacting to it? My son, also adopted, on the spectrum and with ADHD and anxiety was prescribed Straterra at close to the same age as your son. It made him act very weird—saying inappropriate things, making violent drawings and in general just strange behavior. I took him off it. That is the only drug that ever had that reaction but I will never forget how weird he acted. It was scary.

Just thought I would mention it. Best wishes to you in finding the help your son needs.

Hi, he has never been on Strattera. Maybe you confused us with a PP? He did have a terrible reaction to the first stimulant we tried and we stopped that after one dose. Right now he has been on guanfacine for a month and there is some improvement in attention and behavior. All the behavior I described was prior to any medication.

 

[heather34576]

Hi Heather. I’m curious what the evaluator had to say about the behavior issues? It sounds like Oppositional Defiance Disorder. At the very start of this chain, you noted that you thought the issue was not related to Autism Spectrum Disorders (Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)). Autism Spectrum Disorders (Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)) often entails a lack of empathy and I think you’ll find that the behavior and the Autism Spectrum Disorders (Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)) are related.

You’re doing the right thing with drug therapy for the underlying ADHD. I hope it helps. If there are still serious issues, you may want to ask about additional medications for ‘autistic irritability’. No one wants to drug a 6 year old, but if the situation isn’t addressed, it may get worse and a low dose of risperidone could help with calming him.

Is the Occupational Therapist (Occupational Therapist (OT)) using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? The contributor above is quite correct; autistic kids often don’t respond to traditional punishments. They might not understand the cause and effect and may respond better when good behavior is praised and bad behaviour is handled with lighter sanctions.

If you’ve ever had a cat and tried to punish her, she likely perceived you as being mean. You need to be creative in training them. Forgive the comparison but the autistic brain can be similar; your son may react to discipline by upping the ante and the punishment can be counter productive. Cause and effect can be elusive and CBT therapy can be more effective than traditional discipline.

Good luck. You may feel alone and helpless, but you are a great parent. Good on you that you have spent all this time on trying to find solutions for your son. Things are going to be ok.

She said in the report that he had oppositional defiant behaviors but I guess didn't feel it was enough to warrant diagnosis at this time. I have thought about it a lot and done more reading, and I think now that you are right about the behavior being related to autism and his deficits in empathy (I know not all autistic people struggle with this but he definitely does) and theory of mind. I guess time will tell if he has ODD on top of that.

We have not done CBT with him. I didn't realize it could be done this young?

I can't remember if I mentioned it already, but over the summer his BCBA helped me put together a behavior chart system for him (very much positive reinforcement, nothing negative). It has been useful, he finds it motivating and it also gives me a way to more easily track his behavior and notice patterns. I have also been keeping written notes on his behavior with more consistency since we started trying medications.

Thank you for your comment!