DGD seems to be delusional and not getting better

[ksm]

She is now home from the Northwest part of the country and with us in the central part of the states. She's been here three nights and is not getting any better. We have her son who is 21 months old with us and i had him since early December when she asked me to fly out and get him. Abusive boyfriend is also back near us and staying with his parents. His parents will not allow him to leave and don't want them to have contact which I agree. But she is so hyper focused on him that everyday she says you said you take me to see him today and I have to give her the whole history that his parents want him to get better and that if he leaves their home he is not welcome back and he will be homeless.

I do not have the information of what drugs she was on except weed which is legal there. But she's very skinny and the first day she was here she seems very slow to be able to verbally respond. She has bizarre thoughts of her powers. Like yesterday she slept 13 hours woke up after 8 a.m. and said I'm exhausted and I said oh you been sleeping a long time "well I was protecting the city all night long". And I said from your room? And she replied " you just don't understand how it works." Apparently in her mind she flew the plane here. Not just flew on it she flew the plane from her seat in the main cabin. I guess it's all mind control.

Sometimes she writes things to me and I have to read it and not respond out loud because THEY will hear us. So I write back, she reads it and then she crumbles up the paper. She said she has worked with doctors all over the world. She says she's a very social person and has friends all over the world. But she's never on her phone interacting with anybody. She tells me she has a job but she's never applied to anything since she got here. She only wants to see the good in people she said she feels everything that everybody is going through and she was sent by God to bring peace to the world.

When they were in the Northwest state her boyfriend serve 30 days in jail for domestic violence. When I tried to talk to her about that she said she lied about him abusing her. He's been abusive since she was 14 I don't think she lied she called the police three different times and they responded three different times before they took him. They were staying with her mom and she witnessed some of the abuse that was not there the day it happened.

Any of you guys dealt with this type of psychosis? It could be drug-related trauma-related and from what I've read even weed psychosis that brings on latent mental health issues like schizophrenia. I'm sorry I haven't kept up to date on the post because it's all overwhelming plus I'm watching and caring for the grandson. Please share any ideas you have. I know she needs help but I don't know how to get her to agree to go anywhere voluntarily. I've talked to the Mental Health crisis team I've talked to the police I've talked to someone she's seen in the past for medication for anxiety. Ksm

 

[Crayola13]

Have you talked with a social worker about getting a court order to have her committed for a three day hold? Occasionally, a person can be Baker Acted. It’s very hard to have this done.

The three of you are in my prayers.

 

[Deni D]

ksm, are you sure she doesn't have access to any drugs at the moment? You know to make sure if her psychosis is drug induced she's not helping it along currently. I think I would be looking at anything she might call supplements also. My son has been psychotic a few times, both trauma and drug induced. I don't know how someone would be able to tell the difference without the person admitting to taking drugs or not. But I have heard just stopping whatever substance may have caused it doesn't guarantee it going away.

Has the mental health crises unit talked to her at all? Considering she's really out of touch with reality I guess it depends on their threshold as to if they consider her to be a danger to herself. Has she actually done anything that could be considered a danger to herself, like tried to jump out of a window or whatnot? If so that's the thing to tell the Mental Health Crisis unit. But at that they may only put her on a 24 hour hold from my experience, well unless she can't control herself enough to seem stable with strangers, then they would keep her and hopefully start her on an antipsychotic.

There's no magic one size fits all to talk someone into going for help though, it kind of depends on her. Could you start by trying to get her into your GP for a check up and bloodwork? See how that goes.

I'm hoping you are able to get her some help soon.

 

[ksm]

Deni...I am 95% positive...as she came home with no luggage and i checked her purse when she was sitting in our camper Thursday as she "needed peace and solitude" so I had leave the house and sit in camper. She accuses us of messing with her mind and she can hear our thoughts. She hasn't left or had anyone over.

I was able to read online lab reports as her biomom set up a digital account for the hospital to get results using the last 4 digits of her SS# and she shared the log in with me. There was meth and opioid that showed up I believe on the 8th of this month. She had 3 ER visits in the last 20 days. She was at a young adult shelter and they called an ambulance because she couldn't stay awake. But she left da I rly quickly. The second time 5he crisis team talked her in to going and promised her a bed when doctor authorized her yo transfer. She left the next day. Then the police found her wandering around and took her back and they didn't admit her,

I did see she dropped from 120 # to 111 in about one week.

I know she needs help...it's just trying to get her to go that is the problem...

 

[Copabanana]

Ksm. She could have them (drugs) in a very small space next to her body. For example Friday traffickers transport huge quantities of drugs in body cavities and inside of bodies. On the plane she would not have had drugs in her purse.

 

[ksm]

Maybe... but I see some small improvements...she is more active. She doesnt sit and stare as much, she can answer a little quicker...but still has delusional thoughts...like today, with wind chill it was -3 degrees. She opened the door to see how cold it was. Then said since she is not calm and happy...the weather got cold. And sometimes she will yell at us because we said something negative about her in our mind and she can hear our thoughts. Ksm

 

[Copabanana]

but I see some small improvements...she is more active. She doesnt sit and stare as much, she can answer a little quicker

Good news.

 

[Deni D]

ksm, this is so worrying for you. I know how you feel, I've been there many times. As an adult, she can refuse treatment unless she is deemed to be a "danger to herself or others". And that determination of her being a danger to herself is subjective according to the local mental health unit and police.

It's good she seems to be coming around a little bit but it's clear she really needs help. From what you have mentioned she is paranoid and has marked delusional thinking.

Most likely from what you've mentioned she doesn't have any substances at the moment, but considering meth and opioids showed up on blood tests only a week ago it's kind of strange she's not desperately trying to get out to get something. Maybe that's the reason she's trying to get in contact with the boyfriend so much and can't think of any other way right now. I'd keep a very close eye on her for any outside contact for now if I were you regardless of anything else.

At your place she will not be doing drugs and she has the safety net of support from trauma that may have triggered possible underlying mental illness. This is very good for the short term but most likely will only help in turning her life around but not steer the ship to any degree.

I'm hoping regardless of what she is sharing with you that she knows she's not thinking right and she will come around and decide she needs mental health help.

 

[healinginside]

She is now home from the Northwest part of the country and with us in the central part of the states. She's been here three nights and is not getting any better. We have her son who is 21 months old with us and i had him since early December when she asked me to fly out and get him. Abusive boyfriend is also back near us and staying with his parents. His parents will not allow him to leave and don't want them to have contact which I agree. But she is so hyper focused on him that everyday she says you said you take me to see him today and I have to give her the whole history that his parents want him to get better and that if he leaves their home he is not welcome back and he will be homeless.

I do not have the information of what drugs she was on except weed which is legal there. But she's very skinny and the first day she was here she seems very slow to be able to verbally respond. She has bizarre thoughts of her powers. Like yesterday she slept 13 hours woke up after 8 a.m. and said I'm exhausted and I said oh you been sleeping a long time "well I was protecting the city all night long". And I said from your room? And she replied " you just don't understand how it works." Apparently in her mind she flew the plane here. Not just flew on it she flew the plane from her seat in the main cabin. I guess it's all mind control.

Sometimes she writes things to me and I have to read it and not respond out loud because THEY will hear us. So I write back, she reads it and then she crumbles up the paper. She said she has worked with doctors all over the world. She says she's a very social person and has friends all over the world. But she's never on her phone interacting with anybody. She tells me she has a job but she's never applied to anything since she got here. She only wants to see the good in people she said she feels everything that everybody is going through and she was sent by God to bring peace to the world.

When they were in the Northwest state her boyfriend serve 30 days in jail for domestic violence. When I tried to talk to her about that she said she lied about him abusing her. He's been abusive since she was 14 I don't think she lied she called the police three different times and they responded three different times before they took him. They were staying with her mom and she witnessed some of the abuse that was not there the day it happened.

Any of you guys dealt with this type of psychosis? It could be drug-related trauma-related and from what I've read even weed psychosis that brings on latent mental health issues like schizophrenia. I'm sorry I haven't kept up to date on the post because it's all overwhelming plus I'm watching and caring for the grandson. Please share any ideas you have. I know she needs help but I don't know how to get her to agree to go anywhere voluntarily. I've talked to the Mental Health crisis team I've talked to the police I've talked to someone she's seen in the past for medication for anxiety. Ksm

Hey New, I was searching the board for info and noticed some similarities in our children. How is your daughter doing and has the mental aspects improved? What worked or did not work? Thank you!

 

[ksm]

Well, after about 2 months she seemed better...but those two months were awful! She thought she flew the plane from Seattle...she would write us messages so no one could "hear" her. She was always exhausted in the morning because she was up all night "protecting the city". It didn't matter that she never left her room, because she used her mind to protect the city. (Told me I could grasp all that she was capable of!) She often slept in our unfiniished basement because being underground protected her from the bad vibes.

I do believe she was clean those first few months, as she never left our house without us or her dad. Then she started seeing previous people she knew but I dont think she used meth. But, she started up again, then started staying out all night. Practically sneaking out after we went to bed. The paranoia didn't really return, but just no motivation to do anything! And did not spend quality time with her son. Her room is awful!

She did find a job at a liquor store...about 30 hours a week. But was let go after after about 4 or 5 months for calling in sick too often. Now it's been 4 more weeks and no real job. So frustrating. If not for the 2 year old, who we have raised for one year, she would be out of our house in a heartbeat.

We have pushed for her to go to rehab...but I think she just tells us what she thinks we want to hear. I have been testing one or twice a month for 6 months. She doesn't know that when she doesn't flush, I can and have been testing it. Positive for amphetamines and methamphetamines...even diluted with toilet water!

Several weeks ago I found a glass jar with urine! Tested it and also positive! I confronted her and told her I had tested it. She got mad and left...telling us it was illegal to test someone without their knowledge... told her not to get my glass kitchen jars, pee in it, and leave it in the family room!

She calmed down and returned, and the next day apologized. Said she went for a substance abuse assessment and she needed classes which should start soon. Lol. I doubt that she even went! I have pushed for residential treatment...and she acts like she is considering it, but wants to go after the holidays. She doesn't want help, she thinks she's smart enough to use without getting full blown bat sh.t crazy. But it's affected her job and her relationship with us and her son. He gets anxiety when she leaves, because who knows when she will return?? She promises..."just one hour" and then gone. Or she puts him to get and then leaves. If he wakes up from a bad dream, screaming for mommy...she's not here. Or he wakes up in the morning...she's not here, but he has to hunt in her bedroom for her. Sometimes crying. Sometimes screaming hysterically.

I hate this...for all of us...her...us...but especially for the wonderful little boy who has my heart...

Oh, and the loser boyfriend lived with his folks, got back with his estranged wife, and had twins last week.

 

[Kalahou]

Hello KSM, I always follow along with your updates the past 7 years, and sorry to hear how it continues with your younger grand-daughter and her continued enmeshment with drugs. My thoughts are with you, dear. I marvel at you still dealing with these things so heavily -- and now with a "great-grand". I have no words. You are a strong woman obviously, and you know your boundaries also. When I first came to the forum in 2015, the older DGD was your primary concern at that time. How is Older Grand-daughter doing these days.?

One promising note is that the loser boyfriend hopefully is out of the picture - hopefully for a long forever while. I can only "shake my head" (SMH) at the road he travels ( with your news about his new twins - smh)

Hang in there sweet Grams!! You are not alone. Take care.
Kalahou

 

[ksm]

Thank you, Kalahou...the older DGD still has issues, but at least it doesn't seem drug related, she is still impulsive and can't really budget...but she doesn't live with us so there is that.

Younger DGD, boyfriend and his wife has been enmeshed for 8 years. I am sure that when/if he and his wife ever has a break up, he will be trying to get DGD back. And when he is with DGD, he does the same with wife. At least the hospital let the babies go home with them...so they must have been clean, they had a baby 5 years ago addicted to drugs and never had physical custody of the child. He was adopted by the maternal grandma. Plus several months later, he had another child, and rights eventually lost to that child as well.

But he and wife seem to be doing better and working. While he will never be my favorite person, he finally seems to be getting on track. Unfortunately I can not say the same for granddaughter...

I think there will be an ultimatum soon. I doubt that she will come home tonight...she is using...not working...and we are fed up.

 

[AppleCori]

Hi KSM,

Glad to hear things are no longer as difficult as they were when DGD first came back to your house!

Do you have legal custody or any rights to your grandson in case his mom leaves or you have to kick her out?

 

[ksm]

It's been a horrible 24 hours. Yesterday she left with ger 2yo, then came back with a female friend, saying she needed benadryl because she must be having an allergic reaction. Then they all left again. About 3 hours later, her friend texted me and asked if DGD was feeling better. I texted back that I hadn't seen or heard from her since they left the house. Then her friend called and said that about 3 hours earlier, she said she wanted to come home and shower to see if it helped the itching. I asked the friend if her son was with her...and she said no, she left him with her. So we went and picked up grandchild. Calls and texts to DGD did not go thru. I did leave a message we had child with us.

I noticed that she had left her purse on the entryway table. Because I was concerned about what might have caused the allergic reaction, I searched thru it. She had an eyeglass case that had drugs, pipe, small plastic baggies, one with white crystals, a small container with white powder, cut up straws... I did not return it to her purse,

We went to bed about 10:30 and I heard her come home about 11pm. The next day DGS had a 10am activity, and a 11:30 haircut. I texted her phone a couple times but she never responded. Then I texted her several more times, updating where we were and that she could meet us there. We got home about noon and she was still sleeping. About 2:30 (15 hours of sleeping!) her son knocked on her door and woke her up. She came downstairs, made a sandwich, and asked me if I had seen her satchel (not a term we usually use) I told her I didn't know about a satchel but her purse was on the entry table. I told her we had removed the drugs from it. She lost it! Yelling, slamming doors, cursing, she took DGS and was going to leave with him. But for some reason she brought him back inside.

When she realized that she had missed going to his haircut appointment, she lost it again. Was furious I didn't wake her up for it. I told her I had texted her several times. We had even discussed these appts yesterday...

She left, and DGS fell asleep on my lap, she showed up again for him, but since he was sleeping, left him with me. I asked her to leave her house key and she took it off and threw it. My husband and I each told her calmly that we needed to talk. She just kept saying she wouldn't stay here again. Today was exactly one year since I flew out to the NE coast and brought DGS home, at her request.

Her doctor is meth. My son said the items I found in her purse were a meth pipe and meth.

I did text her and told her we wanted her to be safe, and she could come home and sleep her, but we still needed to talk. Nothing. Her son keeps asking for her. Heartbreaking.

 

[ksm]

Do you have legal custody or any rights to your grandson in case his mom leaves or you have to kick her out?

No, we do not have any legal arrangements. We do have a notarized form that allows us to take for medical care. I don't think we can get legal custody, as he has a father that still has legal rights...

 

[Deni D]

I asked the friend if her son was with her...and she said no, she left him with her. So we went and picked up grandchild. Calls and texts to DGD did not go thru. I did leave a message we had child with us.

Newksm, oh I wish I wasn't writing this to you but it seems you are in the position of needing to protect the most innocent now, your great grandson. I so hope your grand daughter gets it together but is sure seems like she's not responsible enough to have her son with her outside of your home anymore. This time it was lucky she left him with someone else who is responsible. Next time, who knows. She checked out to go do drugs, and will most likely continue to do so, not caring about her son's physical safety. He's already obviously not emotionally safe with her, something you can't make happen by giving her more opportunities, she's gone right now as far as that's concerned. I think it's time to get a lawyer and discuss what options might be available to physically protect him.

 

[healinginside]

It's been a horrible 24 hours. Yesterday she left with ger 2yo, then came back with a female friend, saying she needed benadryl because she must be having an allergic reaction. Then they all left again. About 3 hours later, her friend texted me and asked if DGD was feeling better. I texted back that I hadn't seen or heard from her since they left the house. Then her friend called and said that about 3 hours earlier, she said she wanted to come home and shower to see if it helped the itching. I asked the friend if her son was with her...and she said no, she left him with her. So we went and picked up grandchild. Calls and texts to DGD did not go thru. I did leave a message we had child with us.

I noticed that she had left her purse on the entryway table. Because I was concerned about what might have caused the allergic reaction, I searched thru it. She had an eyeglass case that had drugs, pipe, small plastic baggies, one with white crystals, a small container with white powder, cut up straws... I did not return it to her purse,

We went to bed about 10:30 and I heard her come home about 11pm. The next day DGS had a 10am activity, and a 11:30 haircut. I texted her phone a couple times but she never responded. Then I texted her several more times, updating where we were and that she could meet us there. We got home about noon and she was still sleeping. About 2:30 (15 hours of sleeping!) her son knocked on her door and woke her up. She came downstairs, made a sandwich, and asked me if I had seen her satchel (not a term we usually use) I told her I didn't know about a satchel but her purse was on the entry table. I told her we had removed the drugs from it. She lost it! Yelling, slamming doors, cursing, she took DGS and was going to leave with him. But for some reason she brought him back inside.

When she realized that she had missed going to his haircut appointment, she lost it again. Was furious I didn't wake her up for it. I told her I had texted her several times. We had even discussed these appts yesterday...

She left, and DGS fell asleep on my lap, she showed up again for him, but since he was sleeping, left him with me. I asked her to leave her house key and she took it off and threw it. My husband and I each told her calmly that we needed to talk. She just kept saying she wouldn't stay here again. Today was exactly one year since I flew out to the NE coast and brought DGS home, at her request.

Her doctor is meth. My son said the items I found in her purse were a meth pipe and meth.

I did text her and told her we wanted her to be safe, and she could come home and sleep her, but we still needed to talk. Nothing. Her son keeps asking for her. Heartbreaking.

Dear New,

I wish I could say something to make it all better for you. You are doing everything that you can to keep her little one safe and she knows that, which is why she brought him back inside. Even at her worst moment, she knew he would be safe with you. I am so sorry that you have to deal with the demons that drugs has brought you. Drug testing the toilet water was genius - it helped you to confirm your suspicions and know the unknown. You are strong, kind and have done everything a reasonable person would do - God knows you have done more than is ever expected of a Gran and you've done it unselfishly. Keep standing your ground and holding that little one tight. I will pray hard for you to have even the slightest positive turn around in her behavior in the coming days and that you find some peace. ((Hugs to you))

 

[lovemysons]

I’m so sorry for you and your grandson. You are such a loving grandmother. I’m glad he has you.

Meth is what took my son. He said once to me that it was the only thing that made him truly happy.
Now he is dead.

I hope your daughter will fight this demon and win. It’s a very hard addiction. She will probably have to voluntarily go to rehab to help herself. If she is willing.

Surely your confrontation over the drugs you found will force her to make a choice. I pray she makes the right one.

 

[ksm]

Surely your confrontation over the drugs you found will force her to make a choice. I pray she makes the right one.

You would think that ..but we have found and confiscated things before.

I tested the toilet water again and it was positive for amphetamine and methamphetamine... I took a picture of results, like I usually do.

Now we need to tackle the bedroom. It's a queen bed, but she has about 18" of space on one side and a mound of clothes and trash on the rest of the bed. She has the largest bedroom in the house, a walk in closet, and the whole room is trashed.

Our grandsons father must be doing better...CPS was not involved when he and wife had the twins last week and now they are home. I realize if CPS would get involved with my granddaughter, they would place grandson with him, if there are no red flags.

I have checked with our insurance and it will cover residential treatment for 25 to 30 days. And since she still has state insurance so there would be no out of pocket expenses. There are hoops to jump thru, ins has to appoint a case Mgr and they have to authorize the treatment plan. There are womens Oxford houses in our town. There are options if and when she is ready.

 

[Copabanana]

hi ksm
I think it is time to consider a push for legal custody of your grandson to you and your husband. it is just too risky that the father gets the baby. now that his marriage is going better, he may consent. I don't know the legalities, clearly, but you can find out.

I feel that a tug-of-war with dgd is fruitless right now as the drugs dominate. what is called for are boundaries. she is putting all of you at legal risk and her child at extreme risk of being seized by the system. I wish so much it had not come to this.