Hi Nancy,
My 20 year old who used to use drugs was a horror while she was using them. While we didnt file charges against her for her behavior, we did call 911 one day when she pulled a knife on herself. They took her to a hospital that dropped the ball and didn't give her a drug test because she told them she had stopped using. (Gee, now lets believe a teen with a history...) Anyways, at least here, it didn't do any any good. She was taken away in handcuffs, which broke my heart even though....., and the two week stay at a hospital was useless. Other than that, she was on parole twice (whichout our doing a thing---she got caught redhanded with drugs by the cops) and that didn't work. She just did a better job of acting like everything was ok. Then, at 18, we found drugs in her room and told her she had to leave. We have two minor kids and, frankly, the cops could say WE used the drugs, plus she was doing nothing to help herself. She went to live with our very straight arrow son, whom she worships, and every demand he made, she followed. Go figger. Now s he has been clean three years, is the manager of Beauty Salon (she went to school) and told me, just the other day (and this REALLY SOMETHING coming from her, "You know, Mom, I see other people with their families and I realize how lucky I am to have such a loving, caring family. You guys are great." I was in tears. This all evolved on her own though. She wanted to change very badly, had the chance to move with her brother and far away from bad influences, and now she yells, in her truck driver language way, at any teens she finds out uses drugs. She didnt' listen to us. We were not responsible for the change.She didn't care about the cops. The cops didn't help her. I think it kind of has to come from the kid. Of course, if she is being dangerous, she needs some sort of help and has to be taken out of the house. It was quite a ride with this child from age 12-18. I don't think she told us the truth in all those years. She could look me in the eyes and lie to me. And she had been SUCH a sweet child before that---unreal. I feel for what you are going through and you try what you want to try and do what you have to do. Tough Love did work here, although we waited until she was 18. She was lucky she had this brother. We were still going to make her leave because it wasn't getting better. I hope this post offered you hope though. At 17, I thought my child was headed for a life behind bars, and I'm not exaggerating. You're Mom and you know what's best. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers. You will survive your child. I did (with some extra gray hair that I blame on her!) Take care.