Running_for_the_shelter
New Member
We had a very poor day yesterday. The executive summary is that my difficult child (Kindergarten) got pushed to the ground and kicked around by four boys which would have been enough drama for one day, but he went and topped this after school by poking his sister in the eye with a pencil. We're told we're lucky she didn't need surgery. If difficult child were a little older and the lead boy not so troubled, I'd know what to do. As it is, I can only be grateful husband volunteers at his class 2 days a week.
difficult child, despite his many authority and impulse issues, is a happy, social animal. Every place he's attended (and there have been a few), he's always become part of a clique of 4-5 boys who race around and are kind of obnoxious. He's been at this school for a month and a half and has a variety of friends. Now, there is also a cub in his class whom I consider deeply troubled. "Charlie" has a history of trying to seriously hurt smaller children. The stories about him chill your blood. Some consider him to be the next Charles Manson and figure they'll be reading about him in the paper in the future. Of course, difficult child wants to play with him.
It is not clear what happened. These playground incidents seldom are because they happen so fast. Apparently, difficult child wanted to play with this group of four boys which included Charlie. The other boys were not his usual friends. This pack didn't want to play with him and the next thing anyone knows, difficult child is on the ground being kicked by them. husband (who was 100 ft away) believes that Charlie was the leader.
I don't think the school district has a clue of this boy's history. How would they know? It's Kindergarten and this could well be his first incident. I highly doubt his parents (very nice people, by the way) told them anything about his desire to harm others, destroy property or steal money. [Yeah, a Kindergartener. You expect that out of a teenager, don't you?] I also doubt his parents would ever have been told of the incident, but husband saw Charlie's mum that afternoon and enlightened her. She was not surprised in the least.
I told difficult child that I didn't want him playing with Charlie because Charlie was mean. If difficult child were older, I'd tell him that you never start a fight, but you finish it, and exactly what to say to Charlie after getting him alone some place to ensure that Charlie fully expects to be hospitalized if he or his friends ever lay a hand on difficult child again. Problem is, that works for the usual bully but what do you do with the neighborhood psychopath-to-be? People believe Charlie could be one of those 8-year-olds who kill someone so it's not good to define yourself as a true threat to him. But that's all academic because difficult child wouldn't even grasp the concepts at play here. I asked husband if he could let his teacher know that Charlie has some long-standing problems and considering this incident, we'd prefer that he not be partnered with difficult child if it can be avoided.
This would have been enough, having my Kindergartener kicked around by a pack on the playground, but no. difficult child and easy child were sitting at the table doing homework. easy child pesters the life out of difficult child and he'll eventually respond. difficult child is also in his 4-5 week cycle of aggression and impulsivity, and I'm sure that getting kicked around didn't help him control either. husband stepped out of the room but was brought back quickly by the screaming. difficult child had poked easy child in the inside corner of the eye with a pencil. There's blood, there's tears, there's a huge fuss. husband takes her to the doctor (difficult child in tow of course) who declared her lucky to not have needed emergency surgery. She looks awful and has to use anti-biotic drops for a while. difficult child was very repentant. easy child insists he did it on purpose but although I have no doubt he was behaving inappropriately with a pencil, he doesn't have Charlie's desire to really hurt someone and was so, so sorry afterwards.
So that was our rotten day. Any advice on dealing with the budding neighborhood psychopath is appreciated. [Yeah, yeah, I know he's someone's difficult child and all that, but I'm still pretty P.O.'d right now and venting a bit.]
difficult child, despite his many authority and impulse issues, is a happy, social animal. Every place he's attended (and there have been a few), he's always become part of a clique of 4-5 boys who race around and are kind of obnoxious. He's been at this school for a month and a half and has a variety of friends. Now, there is also a cub in his class whom I consider deeply troubled. "Charlie" has a history of trying to seriously hurt smaller children. The stories about him chill your blood. Some consider him to be the next Charles Manson and figure they'll be reading about him in the paper in the future. Of course, difficult child wants to play with him.
It is not clear what happened. These playground incidents seldom are because they happen so fast. Apparently, difficult child wanted to play with this group of four boys which included Charlie. The other boys were not his usual friends. This pack didn't want to play with him and the next thing anyone knows, difficult child is on the ground being kicked by them. husband (who was 100 ft away) believes that Charlie was the leader.
I don't think the school district has a clue of this boy's history. How would they know? It's Kindergarten and this could well be his first incident. I highly doubt his parents (very nice people, by the way) told them anything about his desire to harm others, destroy property or steal money. [Yeah, a Kindergartener. You expect that out of a teenager, don't you?] I also doubt his parents would ever have been told of the incident, but husband saw Charlie's mum that afternoon and enlightened her. She was not surprised in the least.
I told difficult child that I didn't want him playing with Charlie because Charlie was mean. If difficult child were older, I'd tell him that you never start a fight, but you finish it, and exactly what to say to Charlie after getting him alone some place to ensure that Charlie fully expects to be hospitalized if he or his friends ever lay a hand on difficult child again. Problem is, that works for the usual bully but what do you do with the neighborhood psychopath-to-be? People believe Charlie could be one of those 8-year-olds who kill someone so it's not good to define yourself as a true threat to him. But that's all academic because difficult child wouldn't even grasp the concepts at play here. I asked husband if he could let his teacher know that Charlie has some long-standing problems and considering this incident, we'd prefer that he not be partnered with difficult child if it can be avoided.
This would have been enough, having my Kindergartener kicked around by a pack on the playground, but no. difficult child and easy child were sitting at the table doing homework. easy child pesters the life out of difficult child and he'll eventually respond. difficult child is also in his 4-5 week cycle of aggression and impulsivity, and I'm sure that getting kicked around didn't help him control either. husband stepped out of the room but was brought back quickly by the screaming. difficult child had poked easy child in the inside corner of the eye with a pencil. There's blood, there's tears, there's a huge fuss. husband takes her to the doctor (difficult child in tow of course) who declared her lucky to not have needed emergency surgery. She looks awful and has to use anti-biotic drops for a while. difficult child was very repentant. easy child insists he did it on purpose but although I have no doubt he was behaving inappropriately with a pencil, he doesn't have Charlie's desire to really hurt someone and was so, so sorry afterwards.
So that was our rotten day. Any advice on dealing with the budding neighborhood psychopath is appreciated. [Yeah, yeah, I know he's someone's difficult child and all that, but I'm still pretty P.O.'d right now and venting a bit.]