lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Hi all,
It has been a long while since I've posted. I wanted to tell you all that young difficult child (as I always used to refer to him) has gotten his life cleaned up, attending AA, supporting his family and is living the good life...but this is not to be...at least not now. Maybe never.
I thought husband and I would help him get on his feet by letting him live with us this past yr a half. I thought he had humbled himself enough from being out on the streets a few months to really appreciate a clean environment...no drugs, no filth...Just a mom and a dad working to improve our lives everyday, meals on the table and a comfy bed to sleep in...but it's never enough when you're an addict at your core...and clearly not ready to quit.
I even got him in to see a Dr and a Therapist...also applied for disability. I thought we were on the right track.
It was July 6/7. I took him to his Dr and Therapist appointments. He seemed upbeat afterwards. New prescription. We dropped it off...or I should say HE dropped it off. I never saw it...at least not until later that night.
Apparently what he was rxd that day was mind altering...and so after it was filled and we got home...I began to see a difference in his behavior. He wanted a haircut. But husband said No. That's all it took. Just a NO.
I walked by the office to check on him as he frequently was at the computer. One of the chairs was broken. I went and got husband and then discovered difficult child was in the bathroom shaving his head while on the phone with someone saying, "Yes, it's bleeding but I got this." I demanded he open the bathroom door. He was shaving his whole head with a regular razor and cutting himself left and right. I was beside myself! And it was clear that difficult child was NOT in his right mind! I told difficult child, "I can't live like this! Normal people do not live like this!" I was done. Nothing we had tried to do to help improve difficult child's situation had worked.
It was at this point that difficult child went into his room and began to pack. husband and I stood in the doorway and then he yelled, "What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? I told him, "I don't know but you cannot live here any longer!" He began to hit himself in the head with a plastic hanger, which broke on his head and caused more bleeding. husband told me to call 911.
I did call...and while I was on the phone with the 911 operator difficult child grabbed something. I thought it was a screwdriver but it turned out to be a fork. I had told the operator difficult child grabbed a screwdriver, also told her that he had Bipolar disorder and was hurting himself. husband decided that taking difficult child to the hospital himself was a better idea than waiting for the police and so they headed down the road. The police arrived and were on high alert! I had to explain to them that husband and difficult child had already left.
What I didn't know is that difficult child was becoming increasingly more and more suicidal by the moment. He jumped out of husband's truck on the way to the hospital!
It has been almost 2 months now since this incident.
I saw difficult child yesterday. He texted me and asked if I could meet him at the train station and buy him a few white T-shirts and a meal. So I headed to Walmart and picked up T-shirts, socks, a toiletry kit, and a pair of jeans. More than he asked for...but it made me feel better.
I took him to Long John Silvers for a meal. Then he asked if I could get his haircut. He began to describe the area we were in by reminding me when he was little that I used to take him nearby to a haircut place after school when I would also buy him Pokemon cards. The pain began to hit me again...
I do that. Like so many of us do. I still see him as a newborn in Germany (where husband was stationed in the Army) taking him home on the Strauss and young girls admiring us with our new baby. I still see him (around age 8 or 9) on the living room floor with Lego's spread out everywhere eager to find that next piece.
I don't see him as a 27 yr old homeless man...my mom and husband are always reminding me that THAT is who he has chosen to be. That he is NOT an innocent baby, or a young boy. He is a homeless drug addict.
He tells me of life on the streets...being propositioned, being asked to participate in crimes, sleeping on concrete in construction sites, his 2 friends...one is more mentally ill than difficult child and spends much of his time in and out of the hospital's. difficult child is angry that this is how we treat our fellow man.
He still won't humble himself enough to accept G-d either. Acts like it is all nonsense.
He has bug bites on his legs, his skin is much darker than it was when he was at home. I know he felt better about himself after I got his haircut. He looks so much like his older brother when he is cleaned up a bit.
Still don't see oldest difficult child...but that's another post for another day.
I know what I didn't tell you all. Young difficult child's wife left him for another man this past year and half. She also became pregnant and just recently had the baby. She is STILL legally married to young difficult child.
It's an awkward situation as she is making house with a new man and his 4 sons now a fifth son...while she also has our 3 grandchildren. Yes, that' s 8 children! It seems she replaced young difficult child with another man and a new baby. I can't even imagine raising 8 children. And to top it off the man's 4 boys mother died of a drug overdose this past yr...he was also still married while seeing my daughter in law at the time of his wife's death.
So where was I...Yep, my son is a homeless drug addict.
I am his mother. Thank you for being here and reading for caring.
You all know...my son and I both need help.
LMS
It has been a long while since I've posted. I wanted to tell you all that young difficult child (as I always used to refer to him) has gotten his life cleaned up, attending AA, supporting his family and is living the good life...but this is not to be...at least not now. Maybe never.
I thought husband and I would help him get on his feet by letting him live with us this past yr a half. I thought he had humbled himself enough from being out on the streets a few months to really appreciate a clean environment...no drugs, no filth...Just a mom and a dad working to improve our lives everyday, meals on the table and a comfy bed to sleep in...but it's never enough when you're an addict at your core...and clearly not ready to quit.
I even got him in to see a Dr and a Therapist...also applied for disability. I thought we were on the right track.
It was July 6/7. I took him to his Dr and Therapist appointments. He seemed upbeat afterwards. New prescription. We dropped it off...or I should say HE dropped it off. I never saw it...at least not until later that night.
Apparently what he was rxd that day was mind altering...and so after it was filled and we got home...I began to see a difference in his behavior. He wanted a haircut. But husband said No. That's all it took. Just a NO.
I walked by the office to check on him as he frequently was at the computer. One of the chairs was broken. I went and got husband and then discovered difficult child was in the bathroom shaving his head while on the phone with someone saying, "Yes, it's bleeding but I got this." I demanded he open the bathroom door. He was shaving his whole head with a regular razor and cutting himself left and right. I was beside myself! And it was clear that difficult child was NOT in his right mind! I told difficult child, "I can't live like this! Normal people do not live like this!" I was done. Nothing we had tried to do to help improve difficult child's situation had worked.
It was at this point that difficult child went into his room and began to pack. husband and I stood in the doorway and then he yelled, "What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? I told him, "I don't know but you cannot live here any longer!" He began to hit himself in the head with a plastic hanger, which broke on his head and caused more bleeding. husband told me to call 911.
I did call...and while I was on the phone with the 911 operator difficult child grabbed something. I thought it was a screwdriver but it turned out to be a fork. I had told the operator difficult child grabbed a screwdriver, also told her that he had Bipolar disorder and was hurting himself. husband decided that taking difficult child to the hospital himself was a better idea than waiting for the police and so they headed down the road. The police arrived and were on high alert! I had to explain to them that husband and difficult child had already left.
What I didn't know is that difficult child was becoming increasingly more and more suicidal by the moment. He jumped out of husband's truck on the way to the hospital!
It has been almost 2 months now since this incident.
I saw difficult child yesterday. He texted me and asked if I could meet him at the train station and buy him a few white T-shirts and a meal. So I headed to Walmart and picked up T-shirts, socks, a toiletry kit, and a pair of jeans. More than he asked for...but it made me feel better.
I took him to Long John Silvers for a meal. Then he asked if I could get his haircut. He began to describe the area we were in by reminding me when he was little that I used to take him nearby to a haircut place after school when I would also buy him Pokemon cards. The pain began to hit me again...
I do that. Like so many of us do. I still see him as a newborn in Germany (where husband was stationed in the Army) taking him home on the Strauss and young girls admiring us with our new baby. I still see him (around age 8 or 9) on the living room floor with Lego's spread out everywhere eager to find that next piece.
I don't see him as a 27 yr old homeless man...my mom and husband are always reminding me that THAT is who he has chosen to be. That he is NOT an innocent baby, or a young boy. He is a homeless drug addict.
He tells me of life on the streets...being propositioned, being asked to participate in crimes, sleeping on concrete in construction sites, his 2 friends...one is more mentally ill than difficult child and spends much of his time in and out of the hospital's. difficult child is angry that this is how we treat our fellow man.
He still won't humble himself enough to accept G-d either. Acts like it is all nonsense.
He has bug bites on his legs, his skin is much darker than it was when he was at home. I know he felt better about himself after I got his haircut. He looks so much like his older brother when he is cleaned up a bit.
Still don't see oldest difficult child...but that's another post for another day.
I know what I didn't tell you all. Young difficult child's wife left him for another man this past year and half. She also became pregnant and just recently had the baby. She is STILL legally married to young difficult child.
It's an awkward situation as she is making house with a new man and his 4 sons now a fifth son...while she also has our 3 grandchildren. Yes, that' s 8 children! It seems she replaced young difficult child with another man and a new baby. I can't even imagine raising 8 children. And to top it off the man's 4 boys mother died of a drug overdose this past yr...he was also still married while seeing my daughter in law at the time of his wife's death.
So where was I...Yep, my son is a homeless drug addict.
I am his mother. Thank you for being here and reading for caring.
You all know...my son and I both need help.
LMS
