My son is a homeless drug addict...

[Teriobe]

My son has been out of contact with us or anyone we're aware of for a week now. No activity on his phone that we can see from our Verizon account, not for a week, it's probably been sold.
He had been arrested last summer, and did a program called DRC at the jail. It was a great 90 day program, based on Hazelton method (Betty Ford Clinic). He was released the day before his sisters wedding and things were good for a few weeks.

It didn't last.

Around Christmas time, the signs that were there, became crystal clear. Had him arrested on New Years Eve when I found him in his room passed out and surrounded by those little 'stamps' of heroin.
Arrested, but then released. Not sure why they released him, but they did and we let him come back.

He has been working in my husband's business, because we had hoped that he was clean and could really be an asset to us. But now, he's a liability. Has stolen product from our business. We know this because items missing have shown up on Ebay.

And now, we don't know where he is. No contact for a week, not to anyone.
I'm fearing the worst....
I thank God for this site, page, and thread, because you are the people who understand

xo
gina

 

[Teriobe]

Soo sorry to hear this. You must be soo worried. Have you checked the hospitals and jails? If he is jail, he will be safe, warm bed and food.

 

[RN0441]

My son has been out of contact with us or anyone we're aware of for a week now. No activity on his phone that we can see from our Verizon account, not for a week, it's probably been sold.
He had been arrested last summer, and did a program called DRC at the jail. It was a great 90 day program, based on Hazelton method (Betty Ford Clinic). He was released the day before his sisters wedding and things were good for a few weeks.

It didn't last.

Around Christmas time, the signs that were there, became crystal clear. Had him arrested on New Years Eve when I found him in his room passed out and surrounded by those little 'stamps' of heroin.
Arrested, but then released. Not sure why they released him, but they did and we let him come back.

He has been working in my husband's business, because we had hoped that he was clean and could really be an asset to us. But now, he's a liability. Has stolen product from our business. We know this because items missing have shown up on Ebay.

And now, we don't know where he is. No contact for a week, not to anyone.
I'm fearing the worst....
I thank God for this site, page, and thread, because you are the people who understand

xo
gina

You may want to start a new thread of your own. Maybe a staff member can move it for you? Sorry you are dealing with this. More will be along to offer advice. Hugs.

 

[Eugenia]

thank you
I did start a new thread because things went from bad to worse...
He finally called us on Sunday, from the local public hospital, where he's done rehab before and is a safe place to land when you say your suicidal.... he's been admitted there multiple times for this reason. Never cry wolf, but I think he uses it for a place to stay, he knows he can't be denied a bed when he says he's suicidal. He knows how to play ALL the games, although he is depressed, because he's an addict.
Husband asked if he could speak to his counselor at the hospital, it's someone we have spoken to in the past, since he's been at this hospital quite a few times now, including the Rehab stint there, but Son denies access, it's his right, he knows that.
He's in violation of his probation, but has a wonderful, caring PO, who actually found him a long term facility in our state of NJ. Son says he's tired of living this way and is willing to go, it's what he needs, he says.
So I pack according to the website allowable items, take a half day from work to do so (thankfully I work in a very supportive environment with people who are aware of our family situation). Tells Husband that he just needs to make one quick stop in Paterson, to make things 'right' with dealers, and he's ready to go. Tells husband he'll be back in 20 minutes, never returns.
Fearing he's been killed by the dealers (Paterson is a rough area with gangs and dealers, and his life was threatened there once before, so he cried to us, $1500 later, we paid his debt to save his life?)
we didn't hear from him until the next morning....
Says he was beat up but now ready to go. Tells Husband he still owes more money, Husband foolishly gives him $ and brings him back.... and he's gone again.... it's been 36 hours, no word.
Fearing the worst... beat up, killed, OD'd, suicide, or just running from treatment, I pray it's the later....

 

[RN0441]

Hopefully he's just doing his last "hurray" before treatment. I see you started your own post.

More that have experience with H will be along.

 

[Lost mom1972]

Hi all,
It has been a long while since I've posted. I wanted to tell you all that young difficult child (as I always used to refer to him) has gotten his life cleaned up, attending AA, supporting his family and is living the good life...but this is not to be...at least not now. Maybe never.

I thought husband and I would help him get on his feet by letting him live with us this past yr a half. I thought he had humbled himself enough from being out on the streets a few months to really appreciate a clean environment...no drugs, no filth...Just a mom and a dad working to improve our lives everyday, meals on the table and a comfy bed to sleep in...but it's never enough when you're an addict at your core...and clearly not ready to quit.
I even got him in to see a Dr and a Therapist...also applied for disability. I thought we were on the right track.

It was July 6/7. I took him to his Dr and Therapist appointments. He seemed upbeat afterwards. New prescription. We dropped it off...or I should say HE dropped it off. I never saw it...at least not until later that night.

Apparently what he was rxd that day was mind altering...and so after it was filled and we got home...I began to see a difference in his behavior. He wanted a haircut. But husband said No. That's all it took. Just a NO.

I walked by the office to check on him as he frequently was at the computer. One of the chairs was broken. I went and got husband and then discovered difficult child was in the bathroom shaving his head while on the phone with someone saying, "Yes, it's bleeding but I got this." I demanded he open the bathroom door. He was shaving his whole head with a regular razor and cutting himself left and right. I was beside myself! And it was clear that difficult child was NOT in his right mind! I told difficult child, "I can't live like this! Normal people do not live like this!" I was done. Nothing we had tried to do to help improve difficult child's situation had worked.

It was at this point that difficult child went into his room and began to pack. husband and I stood in the doorway and then he yelled, "What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? I told him, "I don't know but you cannot live here any longer!" He began to hit himself in the head with a plastic hanger, which broke on his head and caused more bleeding. husband told me to call 911.

I did call...and while I was on the phone with the 911 operator difficult child grabbed something. I thought it was a screwdriver but it turned out to be a fork. I had told the operator difficult child grabbed a screwdriver, also told her that he had Bipolar disorder and was hurting himself. husband decided that taking difficult child to the hospital himself was a better idea than waiting for the police and so they headed down the road. The police arrived and were on high alert! I had to explain to them that husband and difficult child had already left.
What I didn't know is that difficult child was becoming increasingly more and more suicidal by the moment. He jumped out of husband's truck on the way to the hospital!

It has been almost 2 months now since this incident.
I saw difficult child yesterday. He texted me and asked if I could meet him at the train station and buy him a few white T-shirts and a meal. So I headed to Walmart and picked up T-shirts, socks, a toiletry kit, and a pair of jeans. More than he asked for...but it made me feel better.
I took him to Long John Silvers for a meal. Then he asked if I could get his haircut. He began to describe the area we were in by reminding me when he was little that I used to take him nearby to a haircut place after school when I would also buy him Pokemon cards. The pain began to hit me again...

I do that. Like so many of us do. I still see him as a newborn in Germany (where husband was stationed in the Army) taking him home on the Strauss and young girls admiring us with our new baby. I still see him (around age 8 or 9) on the living room floor with Lego's spread out everywhere eager to find that next piece.
I don't see him as a 27 yr old homeless man...my mom and husband are always reminding me that THAT is who he has chosen to be. That he is NOT an innocent baby, or a young boy. He is a homeless drug addict.

He tells me of life on the streets...being propositioned, being asked to participate in crimes, sleeping on concrete in construction sites, his 2 friends...one is more mentally ill than difficult child and spends much of his time in and out of the hospital's. difficult child is angry that this is how we treat our fellow man.
He still won't humble himself enough to accept G-d either. Acts like it is all nonsense.
He has bug bites on his legs, his skin is much darker than it was when he was at home. I know he felt better about himself after I got his haircut. He looks so much like his older brother when he is cleaned up a bit.
Still don't see oldest difficult child...but that's another post for another day.

I know what I didn't tell you all. Young difficult child's wife left him for another man this past year and half. She also became pregnant and just recently had the baby. She is STILL legally married to young difficult child.
It's an awkward situation as she is making house with a new man and his 4 sons now a fifth son...while she also has our 3 grandchildren. Yes, that' s 8 children! It seems she replaced young difficult child with another man and a new baby. I can't even imagine raising 8 children. And to top it off the man's 4 boys mother died of a drug overdose this past yr...he was also still married while seeing my daughter in law at the time of his wife's death.

So where was I...Yep, my son is a homeless drug addict.
I am his mother. Thank you for being here and reading for caring.
You all know...my son and I both need help.

LMS

I am going threw this with my son , he is shooting drugs and been on streets for months he is 27 yrs old he called me 4 nites ago begging and begging to please let him come to my house he was cold wet hungry and was tired of being on the streets. And didn't want to do this anymore. So I let him come and he only had clothes on his back..I fed him showered him and gave him his younger brother old room..he slept til next day it seemed then he got up and said he was going to look for a job. When he returned he was clearly high had track mark on his arm with 2 drops of blood. He swore to me and my boyfriend it was from the other Day and he sware he wouldn't do anything to mess this up. Well after hours of this we left him stay again .this am he left said he was going to start a job he got yestready . So I drove to tire shop to see if he was there working. The man said he never came in or worked yesterday. . Well he is still somewhere. But not here. I packed him up a bag of clothes and a blanket and I been crying here for hours reading post trying to be able to get up the strength to kick my son out knowing he has no family or anyone in this state so I will be sending him to the streets. and it hurts like he'll but I have a 8 yr old grandson who lives here and I can't have this in and out of my home. I love my son with all my heart and I no I can't fix him. And even no I know what I have to do is kick him out.why is it so hard and hurt so bad. How do I get him to leave my home and be ok with my decission.. and he knows when he crus and Beggs I give in. I just really need some advice I am falling to pieces. I have a 28 daughter who is also a addict and she has a terminal illness with no cure and I kicked her out of my house last week because she robbed my house. But I took her to the state in which she lived where she had friend s..and a place to go to. On the other hand my son does not..and he won't go where his sister is because he has 2 warrents in that state and will get jail time. I have tried to even have him picked up here by police so they can extradite him. But they do not extradite from the state in which he is from. Any advice would be such a blessing. Please mom about to have a nervous break down..thanks so much

 

[hearbrokenmom]

Lost Mom

I hope you see this. I accidently ( maybe not) stumbled upon your post. My son is 24 yrs old and homeless. He has been homeless about 6 months now. Week before last k he w as living in a car at his dealers house Well the dealer and my son got arrested my son stayed in jail 5 days and agreed to go to a rehab. He walked out in 3 days apparently, he had some drugs stashed in a sock and when he got his clothes back at the jail he took the drugs he is on fentaly now. Anyway, long story short he has literally been living on the streets for almost 2 weeks, last night to keep saying he just wanted to see him mom as you can image it broke my heart in pieces. I sent my husband ( his stepdad since he was 5) to go find him and give him clean clothes and blanket well he would take it said he was walking to our house to see me. So, I had to leave and go to my sister-in-law which is my neighbor. He came the cops were called and he was arrested again. I am literally dying, my marriage is fragile and I also have a 17 yr daughter who use to adore her brother but now I fear he hates him. I need help and advice and a support system from other moms. Thank you