lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Thank you Copa.
Nandina! Hey hopefully you can get back to us soon! Thinking of you.
Nandina! Hey hopefully you can get back to us soon! Thinking of you.
Dear Nandina: I am so heartbroken for you and your family. My biggest fear above all else in this life is to lose my child. My oldest step son was killed in Iraq in 2004 during his service in the Army. Until this day I can't believe he is gone. I know it is not the same, but losing a loved one means feeling the pain and the void nothing compares to. Please accept my deepest condolences and know that you are not alone. Prayers.My dear friends on CD,
I am so sad to tell you that my son died last week of what we suspect is an accidental drug overdose. It happened the day before my birthday and five days before Christmas. We are devastated. He was actually doing well and had been clean for a couple months.
But the meth that he had been doing on a somewhat regular basis had done great damage to his brain. He was tortured by the voice in his head and feared that others could hear his thoughts. It was a strange existence because other than that he was the most coherent and clear-headed I had seen him in five years. We thought things were going well. We were pleased that he was getting mental health treatment which he chose to do on his own.
He knew that he had to stay away from meth because of what it had done to his mind. He had recently been put on medication for schizoaffective disorder and spent 5 days in a behavioral health center. He was feeling better after he was released. He spent the next few days here and that was just 3 days before he died.
He had been spending weekends with us and was really trying, for once in his life, to follow rules, help around the house, etc. He was doing well. We had an agreement that he had to stay off the streets in order to have this living arrangement. He had been spending weeknights at the shelter as far as I knew. During all this time I was trying desperately to help him find some form of transitional housing.
But last time he left here he apparently didn’t stay at the shelter and was found unconscious on a street in our town three days later. Paramedics administered Narcan and he was revived briefly but was unable to stay conscious and passed. He had no ID or phone on him although he did when he left here. It is a wonder they even found me, considering, but a police officer recognized him and knew he had been at the mental hospital where I was listed as his contact.
I have received such great support here on CD and I don’t know what I would have done without it during these past five years since my son left home two weeks after his 18th birthday. Knowing people here who understand has been so helpful along with counseling, and just recently we had joined an al anon group.
My husband and I and our two other adult children are grief-stricken and we appreciate any prayers you can offer. Thank you.
Love, Nandina
I think loss is loss, no matter the circumstance, and when you love someone and lose them, the void is the same. Questions remain, of course, the whys and what ifs, but that too, is probably universal, regardless of circumstances of death.My oldest step son was killed in Iraq in 2004 during his service in the Army
I know it is not the same, but losing a loved one means feeling the pain and the void nothing compares to.
Hi LMS, thank you for checking in. I am coping, I think, and will have to start planning a celebration of life service for my son that we’ll have in the spring, so I have to try and stay strong to get through it. I talk to him too—sometimes through tears—but I think he hears me.how are you holding up these days? One thing I know for sure is that when reality sets in your left with intense feelings of missing them.
I often say “I love you J” when alone.