The PAST! One year ago
My daughter is doing well at this point. However, she and her husband were at an anime' festival when she saw a very young woman in a potentially dangerous situation with an abusive boyfriend, and they stepped in. To make a long story short the security threw the abusive boyfriend out, but the young woman had no car, no way to get home, and her home was not safe either. So my daughter and her husband said "come home with us and we will sort this out". And it was decided that the young woman should stay
My daughter and her husband are now re-parenting (is that a word?) this young woman who has schizophrenia and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She functions on about a 15 year old level. This young woman has frequent auditory hallucinations as well as problems with her memory (that is common with the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) diagnosis). And she is on full disability: her birth Mom wanted to keep it but after she had lived with my daughter for about 9 months Social Services eventually accepted my Son in Law as her Payee instead of giving it to her birth Mom, who would have kept it. SRS has a case pending against the birth Mom but that has nothing to do with the problem
THE PROBLEM!
This young woman constantly needs her support system. Yes she can take her pills but she needs to be reminded WHEN to take her pills, and setting an alarm for her is not as successful as they had hoped. Yes she can cook half a dozen things but does not understand a balanced diet. She can read but has trouble with writing: her Mom is, and has been, an alcoholic and her education is pretty hit or miss.
1. MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO KNOW IF SHE CAN QUALIFY AS A PAID CAREGIVER, AND WHO TO TALK TO ABOUT IT? My daughter would like to know how to qualify as a paid caregiver, as this young woman cannot really function on her own at this time: she functions like a 15 year old. And my daughter has NO idea who to ask! My daughter, who is bipolar, has worked on-again off-again but is mostly supported by her husband.
In short right now my daughter is a housewife and knows very little about the world of disability and does not know what questions to ask or who to ask them of. AND the girl that she is reparenting only has an elementary school education: she is learning what my daughter is teaching her so she CAN learn: her birth Mom apparently was a poor teacher.
2. The second bit is already in progress: my bipolar daughter is going to ask HER therapist how she can learn about raising somebody with schizophrenia, as my daughter does not know nearly enough about it. So that is being taken care of.
Lastly, 3. My daughter wants to know how she can ask for support without sounding whiny, and especially WHO TO ASK IT OF. My daughter has a kind heart and she has become very fond of this young woman and honestly regards her as an adopted child. No adoption can be done at this time because of COVID (the courts are only hearing essential cases) but if they could adopt her they would adopt her. The young woman she has semi-adopted has fallen through the cracks of the system and my daughter is trying to help her find a life that is worth living.
That is all for the moment. My daughter is visiting me right now, and with tears streaming down her face she said she did not know what to do or where to learn it. And so I thought about this forum, because 20 years ago I sat down with tears streaming down MY face about MY disabled kids, and I found both good advice and comfort.
I tried to get my daughter to come here directly, but I think she is feeling a bit shy. So I thought that I would ask for her and share the replies with her
My daughter is doing well at this point. However, she and her husband were at an anime' festival when she saw a very young woman in a potentially dangerous situation with an abusive boyfriend, and they stepped in. To make a long story short the security threw the abusive boyfriend out, but the young woman had no car, no way to get home, and her home was not safe either. So my daughter and her husband said "come home with us and we will sort this out". And it was decided that the young woman should stay
My daughter and her husband are now re-parenting (is that a word?) this young woman who has schizophrenia and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She functions on about a 15 year old level. This young woman has frequent auditory hallucinations as well as problems with her memory (that is common with the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) diagnosis). And she is on full disability: her birth Mom wanted to keep it but after she had lived with my daughter for about 9 months Social Services eventually accepted my Son in Law as her Payee instead of giving it to her birth Mom, who would have kept it. SRS has a case pending against the birth Mom but that has nothing to do with the problem
THE PROBLEM!
This young woman constantly needs her support system. Yes she can take her pills but she needs to be reminded WHEN to take her pills, and setting an alarm for her is not as successful as they had hoped. Yes she can cook half a dozen things but does not understand a balanced diet. She can read but has trouble with writing: her Mom is, and has been, an alcoholic and her education is pretty hit or miss.
1. MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO KNOW IF SHE CAN QUALIFY AS A PAID CAREGIVER, AND WHO TO TALK TO ABOUT IT? My daughter would like to know how to qualify as a paid caregiver, as this young woman cannot really function on her own at this time: she functions like a 15 year old. And my daughter has NO idea who to ask! My daughter, who is bipolar, has worked on-again off-again but is mostly supported by her husband.
In short right now my daughter is a housewife and knows very little about the world of disability and does not know what questions to ask or who to ask them of. AND the girl that she is reparenting only has an elementary school education: she is learning what my daughter is teaching her so she CAN learn: her birth Mom apparently was a poor teacher.
2. The second bit is already in progress: my bipolar daughter is going to ask HER therapist how she can learn about raising somebody with schizophrenia, as my daughter does not know nearly enough about it. So that is being taken care of.
Lastly, 3. My daughter wants to know how she can ask for support without sounding whiny, and especially WHO TO ASK IT OF. My daughter has a kind heart and she has become very fond of this young woman and honestly regards her as an adopted child. No adoption can be done at this time because of COVID (the courts are only hearing essential cases) but if they could adopt her they would adopt her. The young woman she has semi-adopted has fallen through the cracks of the system and my daughter is trying to help her find a life that is worth living.
That is all for the moment. My daughter is visiting me right now, and with tears streaming down her face she said she did not know what to do or where to learn it. And so I thought about this forum, because 20 years ago I sat down with tears streaming down MY face about MY disabled kids, and I found both good advice and comfort.
I tried to get my daughter to come here directly, but I think she is feeling a bit shy. So I thought that I would ask for her and share the replies with her