I am SO frustrated I am just praying there is some wisdom here.
We have had our adopted daughter for a little over 3 1/2 years (she was 4 when we got her) and she has been labeled Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) by 2 different therapist, but we have never gotten an official diagnosis. We placed her in school for the first time this spring (we homeschool our other 6 kids) but the FIE report did not find any emotional disorder. They tested her her first week of school and I wasn't surprised. As many Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) parents know the honeymoon phase lasts longer than that. Now we are into our second year of school and problems are starting to rise. Aggression on the bus, disorderly conduct that's dangerous, coming home from school daily with marks on a disciplinary calendar.
I decided to call what our school calls another ARD meeting so that we could discuss having another full evaluation done so she could be placed in life skills and have either an aid or placed in the classroom that is more suited for her disorder.
There is no doubt this school does not believe that she has a disorder. We have had CPS called on us and without a doubt we are seen as abusive and neglectful parents and she is simply a child that needs attention, love, and time. We have told them about what the therapist have stated, we have give them literature on teaching children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and they have fought us tooth and nail.
I had a meeting with her teacher last Monday just so that we could be on the same page about our upcoming school meetings and she told me she could not believe that Tia had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and that even though she is immature and, as we Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) parents know in a constant state of control and manipulation in her classroom, the teacher states that she has never been manipulated or controlled by Tia and that she is simply a hyperactive child.
Amazingly since we have talked to the teacher she has not received any marks on her disciplinary calendar and has come home daily to tell me she does not feel safe at home and wants to live with her teacher. The full story is far too long for me to ever put on here, but it boils down to they are telling me that even though they're ready to kick her off the bus, she gets almost daily disciplinary marks, and has been banned from going to any school events that require school bus transportation, that there is not any problems and there is no reason for her to be labeled as a special needs child.
I feel defeated, stupid, and just don't know what to do. I'm tempted to hire a lawyer who specializes in special education and see if they can help me out. But what I can say is the relationship that has suddenly formed between my daughter's teacher and her is grossly inappropriate. And I feel like I'm beating my head against the wall and look like just a giant butt hole parent.
As a sidenote, our daughter is seven and still placed in kindergarten with students two years younger than her. My husband and I are both psychologist and my husband wrote his dissertation on reactive attachment disorder, ironically enough long before we ever got our daughter and we had no idea she had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). We are educated, have phenomenally well behaved children aside from our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) child, but yet somehow we are still seen as the ignorant, abusive, neglectful parents. This sucks.
There has got to be someone out there who has experienced something similar and has some amazing advice.
We have had our adopted daughter for a little over 3 1/2 years (she was 4 when we got her) and she has been labeled Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) by 2 different therapist, but we have never gotten an official diagnosis. We placed her in school for the first time this spring (we homeschool our other 6 kids) but the FIE report did not find any emotional disorder. They tested her her first week of school and I wasn't surprised. As many Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) parents know the honeymoon phase lasts longer than that. Now we are into our second year of school and problems are starting to rise. Aggression on the bus, disorderly conduct that's dangerous, coming home from school daily with marks on a disciplinary calendar.
I decided to call what our school calls another ARD meeting so that we could discuss having another full evaluation done so she could be placed in life skills and have either an aid or placed in the classroom that is more suited for her disorder.
There is no doubt this school does not believe that she has a disorder. We have had CPS called on us and without a doubt we are seen as abusive and neglectful parents and she is simply a child that needs attention, love, and time. We have told them about what the therapist have stated, we have give them literature on teaching children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and they have fought us tooth and nail.
I had a meeting with her teacher last Monday just so that we could be on the same page about our upcoming school meetings and she told me she could not believe that Tia had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and that even though she is immature and, as we Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) parents know in a constant state of control and manipulation in her classroom, the teacher states that she has never been manipulated or controlled by Tia and that she is simply a hyperactive child.
Amazingly since we have talked to the teacher she has not received any marks on her disciplinary calendar and has come home daily to tell me she does not feel safe at home and wants to live with her teacher. The full story is far too long for me to ever put on here, but it boils down to they are telling me that even though they're ready to kick her off the bus, she gets almost daily disciplinary marks, and has been banned from going to any school events that require school bus transportation, that there is not any problems and there is no reason for her to be labeled as a special needs child.
I feel defeated, stupid, and just don't know what to do. I'm tempted to hire a lawyer who specializes in special education and see if they can help me out. But what I can say is the relationship that has suddenly formed between my daughter's teacher and her is grossly inappropriate. And I feel like I'm beating my head against the wall and look like just a giant butt hole parent.
As a sidenote, our daughter is seven and still placed in kindergarten with students two years younger than her. My husband and I are both psychologist and my husband wrote his dissertation on reactive attachment disorder, ironically enough long before we ever got our daughter and we had no idea she had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). We are educated, have phenomenally well behaved children aside from our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) child, but yet somehow we are still seen as the ignorant, abusive, neglectful parents. This sucks.
There has got to be someone out there who has experienced something similar and has some amazing advice.