SRL makes an excellent point here: [ QUOTE ]
We don't use that language and have always been very careful about exposure since we know difficult child's magnet attraction to negative junk but he eventually found his way to it one way or another ...
[/ QUOTE ] If there is even one line in a movie that I don't want him to say, like the hyenas saying "We're gonna kill ya!" in Lion King, that is the one line he will quote for months. A little pal at daycare has a word (not swear word so far) that I don't like, that's what he'll say. I don't even have to respond -- he's seen someone else do it so he knows he has a live one, so to speak.
The first time I hear something I don't like, I will ask in a very neutral voice, Where did you learn that? He'll usually tell me. And then I'll say, Well, xx may use words like that, but we don't in this house. It's not a nice word. If the same child is named repeatedly, I'll sometimes say, Well, I don't know about your playing so much with xxx; he does a lot of things we don't do in this house. Something similar with movies. He lost Lion King for a while for the hyena line. When he'd ask to watch it, I'd say, No, you start to talk like the hyenas and the hyenas are the bad guys. Let's wait a while. And after about a month, I'll let him watch it again but say, I don't want you talking like the hyenas or I'll have to put the movie away again. That actually works with the movies. He'll even tell me he can't watch a particular movie and why.
In my response earlier, I had forgotten about this (sorry, was very tired), and it's actually a key point in how I handle the "new" stuff he brings home. My philosophy is that he gets a free pass the first time just in case he really doesn't know that's not acceptable in our house. Of course he knows 99% of the time, but it's a way for him to get the point without losing face.
Losing face is very important to my cub. He always needs a way to back down without looking like he is. So, asking where he learned something is a way for him to get the point without any punishment etc. And when I know he knows, the We don't say that; do you want to go to your room? Gives him a chance to say no and avoid any punishment. It's when the behavior is repeated a couple of times that he gets put in this room. At that point, he's beyond caring about saving face, he's just angry and doing it deiberately, so off he goes.
Now, a new word screamed from the inside the room is a challenge. It's not like you're going to be having a rational discussion about "where did you learn this" from him. And he knows it's bad because that's what he's choosing to scream in there. I'd probably wait until he was calmed down and then ask where he learned it.
I have to admit, I say a few things I shouldn't every now and then (NOT directed at the cubs). The sharp-eared easy child will go, "Oooooooo, I heard that!" or "You shouldn't SAY that!". Even if she doesn't, I will immediately apologize and say I shouldn't have said that, it's vulgar, and point out to easy child that once you have started to use bad words, it's very hard to stop and that's why I don't want her to start. This works on her but I doubt it will on difficult child, but fortunately, he hasn't heard me say any of those things. Yet.