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  1. recoveringenabler

    Article on Detachment

    Absolutely share the article JMom!
  2. recoveringenabler

    The Sweetest Thing

    I just saw this...........I'm so very sorry Susie........keeping you in my prayers....
  3. recoveringenabler

    Losing the Love of My Life

    Oh Susie, I am so very sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine how you are feeling. I am sending love, prayers and hugs to you & your family.
  4. recoveringenabler

    Am I a (Censored) Person/Parent?

    No, it makes you a person who has learned wisdom through acceptance of what we cannot change. You've achieved the "serenity prayer"........enjoy your serenity Albatross, you deserve it. And congratulations on leaving the past behind and opening to peace. I'm happy for you, go enjoy the life...
  5. recoveringenabler

    Having a Really Bad Couple of Months

    I'm sorry Susie, praying for you and husband. Big hugs for you.
  6. recoveringenabler

    What do you tell people?

    For me, as an introvert & highly sensitive person, I tend towards being private. If I am to share something intimate and important to me I have developed criteria over the years to protect myself. The most important is that I only engage in connections with others who I feel can be 'present' and...
  7. recoveringenabler

    Needing to stay strong, feeling like a horrible person. :(

    WLS, the above quote is a typical response when we stop enabling. My daughter said similar things to me and for a long time it worked. When I began not reacting to those manipulations, she stopped using them. It's wonderful that you don't feel any guilt.....guilt is what ties us into the...
  8. recoveringenabler

    So frustrated....

    I'm sorry TL, it's so hard..... FWIW TL, when I was in that 2 year codependency course, it was in conjunction with the rehab part of the facility and we were on occasion in a class together learning about codependency issues, which was also a part of their rehab. On many occasions I heard those...
  9. recoveringenabler

    Having a Really Bad Couple of Months

    I'm so sorry to hear this Susie......sending love, peace and prayers for you and your family.......healing prayers for your husband. Let us know how you're doing.
  10. recoveringenabler

    Needing to stay strong, feeling like a horrible person. :(

    Welcome WLS. I'm sorry for the struggles with your daughter. My first response is to NOT allow her to live in your home when you are gone. Once she is in your home, removing her legally can be problematic, but more to the point, you've made your case, which is a good one, stick to it. Most...
  11. recoveringenabler

    With no contact, it still continues

    Hi SS, geez, I'm sorry you had to get caught in the drama even for a short time.......but really good news that you and your husband quickly regained your resolve. Our empathy can be a double edged sword, can't it? Sending you big hugs SS.....and kudos to your husband for sidestepping the FOG...
  12. recoveringenabler

    Circle of support for an old member

    Sending love and healing prayers for Janet, her son and family........thanks Sharon for letting us know.
  13. recoveringenabler

    A little update...

    So good to "see" you CB and wonderful to read such a positive, uplifting update! Congratulations on your wedding plans, I'm so happy for you. You sound clear, happy and resolved...... Congratulations on working through all of those issues and coming out the other side. I'm so proud of you...
  14. recoveringenabler

    Son is now homeless

    Bravo! I encourage you to run not walk down the road to focusing on yourself and your husband......go enjoy your lives now.....all of the precious moments.
  15. recoveringenabler

    Son is now homeless

    Poppy, it helped me to remember that people treat us in the fashion we permit. I allowed my daughter to be abusive to me many years ago because I didn't know how to enact boundaries, say no or limit bad behavior. I believed at the time that because she was struggling with mental/emotional...
  16. recoveringenabler

    Son is now homeless

    Poppy, I'm so sorry you are experiencing these struggles with your son. The sheer powerlessness and lack of control is scary. While at the moment there is little you can do for your son, you've made a good choice to come here for support. You might try getting in touch with NAMI if you haven't...
  17. recoveringenabler

    I Feel Very Very Sad Today

    Welcome back Wanderingstranger.......I'm sorry you're still struggling with your son, as you know, you've landed in a safe, supportive place. Like most of us, you've done the cycle a few times......and it is very, very sad when our kids slip back, I know exactly how crummy that feels. Your son...
  18. recoveringenabler

    This sums up my feelings pretty well

    Poignant post Leafy. Sigh, brings back memories. Not good ones. I'm so sorry. Quite a number of years ago, when my daughter was at the peak of her craziest, most intense and dramatic time, hanging with sketchy, scary characters.......people I deemed "dangerous.".....I made the same choice...
  19. recoveringenabler

    Summer vacation time

    Another coastal town that has many amenities here in California is Santa Barbara, one of my favorite towns. Temperature in August is perfect, probably low eighties. It is on the ocean and yet there are mountains in the backdrop. There are fabulous restaurants, beautiful shops, all kinds of...
  20. recoveringenabler

    Summer vacation time

    Hi Nomad. I live in Sonoma County in Northern California, also known as Wine Country......The town of Sonoma is beautiful, is known for pairing food and wine and has many, many high end restaurants to choose from. Many B&B's, local motels and The Sonoma Mission Inn if you want more style, it has...
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