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Carrie, you describe my oldest son, who is 23. I too have had to let go of him, and even limit contact. I thought that getting clean in jail would be the cure, but it turns out it isn't. We can only hope and pray that they find some reason to turn their own lives around, and be there for them...

Bluebell, He put you in a bad position. You were kind enough to let him come over, and he immediately pushed the boundaries by not leaving as agreed. I assume you told him ahead of time what time he had to leave? If so, then you did your part (let him do the laundry, as agreed) and he, once...

On a lighter note, I enjoyed the story about your daughter's inappropriate social media posts. I also had a wild and experiential daughter. I thought she was a nightmare until I started dealing with my son. Now, having raised 4 teenagers, I miss the wonderful experimentation of that age, and...

A little while ago there was a thread about whether we really knew or children. I was reminded of that today...my son called me early this morning...he sounded fine. He paid some lip service to the usual litany of "I know I :censored2:ed up" and said he was calling to let me know he was OK, and that...

Self talk is very helpful right now. So is writing down key responses and putting them on post its where you might need them (near the phone, on your computer)/ Stuff like "that sounds hard." "I'm sorry to hear that." "that must be hard for you" "I'm sure you'll figure it out" "no" "no"...

Copa, yes, your understanding with Back on My Feet is correct. I think it is an amazing program, well beyond the running part. I knew about it for years and years before I joined..there are a lot of "do good" programs in running, and I was kind of tired of the whole concept...I felt like...how...

Ah, Copa, I"m sorry to read this. I've been reading your posts since you joined the forum. I know how very hard that is for you. There is nothing to say. Actually, I take that back. There are things to say to each other, so that we can work on keeping our lives, ourselves, our...

Of course. It is called Back on My Feet. There are branches all over the country. It is very active in my city. I commonly see them at the road races up to and including the marathon in town. If the members run their bibs are paid for, and of course the volunteers come cheer for them like...

Yes, Copa, you are right. Maybe somebody got the baton today. That helps some. Alb, I brought the clothes and it wasn't the reason he left. I didn't make it easy for him. In fact, I saw that he posted on Facebook (a link to Johnny Cash's song Folsom Prison) Friday morning, which most...

Following up.. I did go back to the facility today, with two bags of clean clothes...some new (socks, underwear, and blue jeans in his size from Target) and a bunch from his brothers. I knew in my heart he wouldn't be there, and he wasn't. I left the clothes as a donation.

Irish Strong, You are welcome to post anywhere of course, but if you post on your own, new thread you might get more specific responses. Good luck with your son.

Mr Mike, I feel for you. It is very very hard to see from where you are that your son can ever live without you. And yet, I am quite sure that he can. Why? Because all of our sons can. My son is bipolar, has pervasive developmental delay and extraordinarily, off the chart, slow processing...

I am going to weigh in a little on detaching, if I may...and take everything I say with a grain of salt, remembering that we are all very different, have different issues and timelines, but also remembering that I have been where you are... If you don't want him to come over you don't need to...

Lil, I don't really know! I asked the staff what happens to people who don't have anyone to bring them clothes..they said they have some donations. Maybe he gets those. Maybe he brings some clothes from jail? I don't know. He has been on the street for 5 years, so he is pretty resourceful...

I love this post...wait...you can control your husband, your son, your daughter, and your daughter's boyfriend??? Can you come over to control the people in my house too??? I say this with fond recognition and all kindness. Of course you got upset about the bill. It is not at all your fault your...

Bluebell, I do have SADD, as does my sister and my daughter. My mother was one of the first people enrolled in the light box trials back in the 70's. The lights do help, as do all the other known things...outdoors, exercise, awareness, etc. It is hard though, and you are right, every year I...

Seeking (nice to see you!) that has been both the blessing and the bane. He had a great PD who has gotten him into multiple transition programs, stepping from inpatient treatment with frequent court followups, to transitional housing with case workers and job support..2 years worth. It is a...

I am so glad for the update. You are doing really well. You released yourself from the impossible job of being the answer to everyone else's bad choices, you fell in love at 63 (woot!) you are living your own authentic life after you did all the work of parenting for the appropriate time and...

My son, now 23, is getting out of jail tomorrow, after being there the better part of two years. He has had multiple discharges to mental health facilities, and he has jumped on all of them, often after as little as 36 hours. He always gets arrested again soon after. This has been going on...

This made my heart ache, in a way that I have to say I try to avoid... but at the same time there is something nice about remembering that little boy with the wide smile. I too, can feel his warm wiggly body sometimes. I'm glad I had that. I'm glad he had that. Its good to remember that...