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Hi Laura, I'm sorry to hear about this, and it's so disappointing when your hopes are up and then down again. It's easy to say "cautious optimism," but it's really difficult to be on that emotional roller coaster when we wish so much for good things for our children. I think the key is to keep...

I'm thinking that the less you react to your daughter's slights and meanness, the less power she'll have in the relationship. You can't have a fight if both people don't participate, right? She'll either continue trying to upset you, or she'll go her merry way. Either way, you don't need to...

Hi Beyond, I just caught up with your story, and have to say I admire your resolve to set up boundaries. At her young age, your daughter will see that her actions have negative consequences, and at least it will give you some peace of mind to not have her terrorizing your household. I know you...

This is so good to hear, Kathy! I think the message of hope is a good one, since it often seems to be non-existent with our troubled (addicted) children. My son, who is recovering from heroin addiction, is likewise so much easier to be around than before. I feel like his old personality has...

What a beautiful gesture for your son to replace the necklace! I would have lost it at that point, too. Your son has come so far, and I'm sure hearing him give that speech was like music to your ears. Thanks for sharing your hopeful and positive news!

Helpless--I hope you are able to busy yourself and try not to worry too much. My two difficult sons were similar at that age, and I remember being sick with worry when they'd disappear for a day or two (or more) at a time. Now at age 32 and 21 respectively, they are both mostly out of the...

Yes, I saw this as a mini-victory since this might have escalated in the past. In fact, I didn't even know they had been bickering at all until younger son told me about it later. It's doubtful that older son will have an attack of conscience, though, since he seems to be impaired in that...

I'm not really needing any advice here, but just sharing an observation. Maybe some of you can relate? My older difficult son, age 31, is now out of rehab, working part time, and living with his wife and kids. He had told us it's the first time he's been clean in over 6 years (from heroin). This...

Hi Laura! Good to hear that your son has a job and is doing better. It's always great to get that "guarded optimism" back that they might be on the right track! My son is doing better, also. He is out of rehab now and working a part-time job.

Hi Trying, I'm not sure my story qualifies as "success," but maybe "improvement," which might be a more realistic and hoped-for outcome. When I first started posting here, my two difficult sons were embroiled in a crazy feud that led to fistfights, broken household items, and two police calls...

So sorry for your troubles, as I know the death of your ex must have greatly affected everyone in the family. If you're not already in therapy, I think it's something you should seriously consider. As for your daughter, I think at age 16, you will probably want to keep some kind of contact...

Hi Laura, I sent you a message about the rehab center.

That's great news! I know any ray of hope is a good one. My son, who is still in rehab, supposedly is in a job program in Chicago but hasn't actually started working yet. He seems to be better at getting jobs than keeping them. Anyway, I'll join you in hoping our sons will be doing better with this.

Hi Patty, I can relate to your situation since mine had been similar for quite a while with my 31-year-old son who's a recovering heroin addict. He's currently in long-term rehab (will be 4 months total) for the first time, so we're hopeful for him. He has lived with us off and on between jobs...

Laura, my son also recently spent his birthday (31) in rehab, so I know the feeling. Luckily, he was able to get a pass for the following weekend, so we had a dinner and cake for him at our house, but he had to leave early to get back for curfew. It's nice that your son's boyfriend helped him...

Albatross, thanks for sharing this good news! I got a small apology text from my son when he first entered rehab, but don't hear from him regularly. He has been able to visit a couple of times, though. At first I was upset that he had called his siblings to chat but didn't call me, but now I'm...

I think that's a good approach and to not get too invested in his decisions, since he doesn't seem to have a good idea what he wants to do. I agree that NYC is very expensive, though, unless he can find an inexpensive sober living program. I know it took my son quite a while to get into the...

Thanks, everyone! He's there now for Day Two and said the manager told him he's doing a good job. I told him he's finally bringing honor to the family name! :)

Hi all, This is in reference to my youngest son (now age 21), whom I previously posted about when he was more of a difficult child. He's matured a lot since I started posting about him about 4 years ago, and is not fighting and getting in trouble any more. However, he's been very slow to launch...

It sounds like your daughter is making a lot of excuses and trying really hard not to take responsibility for anything, and also trying really hard to get money from you. It's obvious from your note that you and husband are doing the right thing by trying to keep some boundaries up.