Search results for query: *

Love your response to her!! Good for you for standing your ground.

Hi Janet, so good to hear from you! Sounds like things are going well for you. I hope your son is able to continue healing and hopefully turn his life around, or at least in a better direction. Glad to see you back.

Oh how I remember those days!! I had a two year period when our son was still a teenager, when I would come home from work, as soon as I turned onto our street I would feel nauseous and anxious. I never knew what I would come home to. Here are some of the things I came home to; a hole about a...

Setting strong boundaries has literally saved my sanity! Coming to the understanding that our children can and will manipulate us and use our love and emotions against us, is key to stop enabling. My son recently called my husband and they chatted for quite a while. I purposely went to shower...

Helping and enabling is a fine line and one that is easily crossed. I think the others have offered some great insight. If it were me, I would have a conversation with her. I would ask her what other options she has for grocery shopping, Dr's appointment's, etc....... This will allow her to take some...

We too did the same thing for our son. Bought a nice little house. The plan was that he would pay us rent and once we determined he was really stable (several years of being stable) that we would gift him the house. Sadly for us it did not work out that way. We kept the rental house for 13...

My son does the same thing. I used to let it really get under my skin and would engage with him but I have learned, I think that's exactly what he wanted, me to engage and then get into a debate. Once I understood this, it was much easier to let it go. I actually started to feel sorry for him...

Oh Chickpea, I'm so very sorry for what you are dealing with. What our adult children can put us through is so unfair. If your daughter is still using drugs and drinking she, as you already know, is in no condition to care for her child. I will never understand the mindset of our adult kids who...

I am so glad to hear you are putting you first!! Self care is an absolute 100% must be done. It sounds like you are also setting good boundaries with your daughter limiting the time you will watch her children. Notice how I said her children and not your grand children. Of course they are your...

I think what you did was fine. You let him know that you love him, you offered some very practical tools for him and that is enough. Of course it hurts our hearts to see our children suffer no matter what age they are but we must hold firm in our resolve that we cannot, nor should we live their...

Great question! I know it's different for everyone. For me it was somewhat a gradual awakening. I went through so many times of "helping" my son. When I say "helping" I really mean enabling but at the time, I did not see it that way. For so long I had the mindset, "this time will be different...

Thank you for sharing this with us. I know how hard it must have been for you to read that. In the letter, your son is making an attempt to own some responsibility. He is saying all the right things. Now, this is where I caution you to be very careful. I too have received similar letters from...

Good job Acacia!! So very proud of you.

This site is a true lifeline for those who are dealing with difficult adult children. I only wish I had found it many years ago. The wisdom and courage within these pages are life altering and affirming.

JMom, you never have to apologize for sharing/ranting/venting, that is what this site is for. I think you are doing great! Sure, you've had a lot to deal with and of course we can always have 20/20 hindsight - the old "I should have or I shouldn't have". Sometimes we just react with our...

Merry Christmas from the other side of the globe! I've been where you are. Having my son at holiday gatherings I was always on edge. I love my son but I don't like him. Some people find that hard to imagine but it's my reality. If I were to meet my son on the street, he is not someone I would...

I too wonder the same thing JayPee. My son has done the same thing to me, spew his hate and then demand I help him. This is the best part of your post!! You have changed, you have made the choice to no longer allow your son to hold your emotions hostage. Sure, it still hurts when our own child...

Perhaps but his belief system is that of Nihilism which basically means he believes in nothing. In the past, he has viciously attacked my belief system calling me naive, blind, stupid, ignorant, etc...... He does not believe in Christmas or any holidays. This is just what he does, reaches out to...

Oh JMom, I'm so sorry for this heartache. The easy answer is "we cannot control what others do", the hard part about this answer is accepting it and not attaching our emotions to it. Your mom has chosen over the years to continue to enable her son, your brother. While you may never know or...

I think there is an element of truth in what you say but I know my son. His personality is one of pure arrogance and narcissism. My son truly believes he's smarter than everyone. While he does have an extremely high IQ, he does not temper it with any humility or common sense. I don't think he...