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Well, I have guardedly optimistic news: The guy who is the subject of this thread got a job at a local restaurant and has shown up for it five times. I'm keeping my joy in check, because I have been buoyed then disappointed countless times, but I want to report this good news. Thanks to all...

So sorry he's abusing alcohol. Try to view his holding a job as a positive 'til he gets it together. I have to say, alcohol would be a step up for my boy. Pot is his nemesis. It's taken his drive, self-esteem, sense of humor, friends, compassion, and probably seven other things I can't think...

Yes, it's sad, but it sounds as though you've made a few baby steps, and I hope those steps continue. Who knows? Maybe it's just her path. Strangely, even though I feel as though my son and I have lost touch, when we do see each other (like on Thanksgiving) I feel proud of the guy he's...

Well, it's Thanksgiving week and the only evidence he's still alive is his the semi-daily visit to her house to raid the fridge. He doesn't even try to hide his tracks, and leaves empty cans, cartons, etc. for her to clean up when she gets home from nine hours of work. Who is this kid? I go...

21 yr old: Difficult stoner with no ambition, gets up at noon or later and plays guitar

Thanks--and have fun with that new word.

I feel as though I've found a safe place to discuss my son and my morass of emotions surrounding him and his struggles. The next few weeks are going to be tough, and there may be the occasional late-night alcohol-induced rant--I apologize in advance.

Thanks for those wise words. I am lucky to have several friends with whom I can be frank about my son and not feel judged. It is liberating to talk about it. But I do feel as though I need to be selective; concern is often a mask for Schadenfreud.

I have found what you wrote to be very true. "There must be a reason--otherwise this can happen to me no matter how perfectly I am parenting." Randomness is tough to reckon with for many.

Thanks for the quick and supportive responses. It's going to be a tough couple of weeks and I take solace in knowing there are those who understand. I live in a small college town and my son's troubles are well-known. People want to point to a cause, and I often feel as though they think I'm it.

Glad to have found this site. I'm a long-suffering divorced/remarried dad whose older son is 21. A brilliant/talented guy through childhood, he began smoking pot at around 16. His life spiraled downward as his pot smoking pals all thrived and went on to college. My boy procrastinated on...