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  1. Ironbutterfly

    I finally threw her out

    Please stop blaming yourself. You have no way of knowing if she would have turned out differently if your life had been different. Sometimes they are just born with personality issues. There are people out there who were there 24hrs a day and still turn out homeless, ungrateful,rude, addicts...
  2. Ironbutterfly

    "If My Estranged Child Only Knew How Upset I Am They'd Change

    Wondering how things went as well. Thinking of you and hoping for good outcome with MRI. I wouldn't cancel your trip, go, getaway. I know the outcome of results will be hanging over your head but life is short and seize the moment to go to Costa Rica. As far as son, who knows if it's the truth...
  3. Ironbutterfly

    34 year old son is killing my soul

    Welcome: I really enjoy reading your posts.You are a vary talented writer. You should either start a blog or write a book. Your words tell a story with an ebb and flow; one that bares the heart and soul of the pain, the loss, the struggles, the memories; to the beauty of your home, your cabin...
  4. Ironbutterfly

    Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?

    I'm happy for you that you got some comfort in knowing he is healthy and working. These glimpses are small wins, even if for a day, a moment, that keep us parents going.
  5. Ironbutterfly

    Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?

    I too stay connected but stopped letting his life consume mine. He is schizo and paranoid and learning disabled. I learn to cut him some slack due to his learning disable but I will not see him as a total victim. He is street smart and has made some good decisions on his own so I know he is...
  6. Ironbutterfly

    Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?

    We do have responsibilities as parents but that includes "taking care of ourselves and setting healthy boundaries". Our adult children have responsibilities as well. What does parenting look like to you and J?
  7. Ironbutterfly

    Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?

    Hi Copa- My therapist said something to me about all the things I have tried, suggested with my son. She said, has anything you suggested or done worked out? I said no. She said when he is ready to change his life he will. He will find resources on his own. I doubted this until recently when he...
  8. Ironbutterfly

    Adult Child lying and stealing

    I agree with others. Also agree with Copa in talking to her. Meet her in a public place and never at your house or family members house. Addictions can be of many things, drugs, stealing, lying. My son is a compulsive liar. He has never stole from me. But he lies and it is so hard to get to the...
  9. Ironbutterfly

    The big day is here!

    RN- I know the mixed emotions you have with your son coming home. I pray that your son will be successful in his new path in life and wish the best for you and your family.
  10. Ironbutterfly

    7 Signs you're the victim of an emotional manipulator

    Mine too. Thanks for posting.
  11. Ironbutterfly

    When you are really, really done with your child ...

    It's ok to tell your kid f you. I mean really, they f us all the time with their lies, their manipulations, their stealing from us financially and emotionally daily, weekly, monthly yearly. They give us the big ole F you finger. I told my son last year he was piece of sh*t. He was because of...
  12. Ironbutterfly

    Netflix series called DOPE

    If you get a chance to watch this- it tells the story from both sides, the dealers and the COPS. It takes place in Oakland, California, Maryland and other cities. It's an education on the lingo, the dollars, how it's made, hidden, sold, who sells, the watchers on the streets. One dealer said...
  13. Ironbutterfly

    My Son's Radar

    My son too, radar whenever we were leaving on a trip. Oh and also when I was in pre-op for surgery. Just got to the bed, ready to gown up, phone rings. Son, drama, needs money, ughhh. GO on your trip and have a good time.
  14. Ironbutterfly

    the ball is in his court??

    Copa, I'm so sorry and have no words of wisdom but I applaud you for finding 4 things to be self assured about. I read the Glass Castle, if you get a chance, read this book. YOU have done the best you can. It is up to your son to find his way. When he calls, tell him you love him and you have...
  15. Ironbutterfly

    Marine update #3

    I'm so sorry for you. I do believe that her Marine experience made a dent in her life. Just having to leave home, arrive at the base, being yelled at by a drill sarg, everyone getting stripped down to be equal...that is something you never will forget. Start thinking about Plan B options for...
  16. Ironbutterfly

    I don’t know how to help.

    Many of us started as you, with a Difficult Child with issues of varying degrees, everyone has a different story but really the same plot. Our Difficult Child's have issues, mental, emotional, drugs, bipolar, personality disorders, rages, sense of entitlement when they don't get what they want, failure to make a break...
  17. Ironbutterfly

    I don’t know how to help.

    Hi- and welcome You said you had to move out of your home in August with her. Are you back home or still out of your own home? You shouldn't have to leave your own home. She is 18 and legally an adult. I know it is painful to think about having to put her out, but it may come to that if she...
  18. Ironbutterfly

    attitudes of those in prison/jail?

    My son has been calling me from jail last few weeks asking me to call around to rehab places and have them come to court and speak to the judge on his court date. I have so far declined to do so. He was upset about it. Too bad. Anyways, he called yesterday and asked me to put the rehab numbers...
  19. Ironbutterfly

    Marine boot camp update...

    Son was in Marines- Son had to lose more weight once he got in there. He made initial weight requirements. But I remember he passed out in food line one time. They will shift into different areas of focus/plattoon's during first couple of weeks. At graduation, the Marines all ran past the...
  20. Ironbutterfly

    When you are a Mother you are never alone in your thoughts.

    When you are a Mother you are never alone in your thoughts.
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